driver: "I meant to do that."Owners of house stand to make millions from insurance and the new Car Crash Amusement Park.
Motorcyclist captured driving through powerful storm
Look up idiot in the dictionary and you'll see this guy's picture. People died and a tornado watch was in effect, so this guy jumped on his bike with a few cameras.
You can't get an abortion in Texas, but you can get a snake dropped on you. It all evens out.
Back to Tory Lanez shooting Megan Thee Stallion... I am not familiar with either of them, but let's face it; I'm not a fan of rap (to be polite). It is definitely the sole 'art form' that has brought shootings with it.
- Didn't you ever hear about 1976's East Coast -West Coast feud between Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith? It amounted to nothing because they were so strung out on drugs, they couldn't hold a gun, no less aim it.
- As we speak, Robert Plant mentions Greta Von Zeppelin. At some point in the next 6 months, one of the Gretas will be taken away by the police, outside of Plant's house, with a Molotov cocktail.
- Before the Beastie Boys became a duo, they were hacking into Whitesnake's servers and planting ransomware. Whitesnake's data loss included the formula for Huge Hair. Fans of Whitesnake had a bout of cognitive dissonance over how a 60-some year old singer could have Heavy Metal Hair<tm>.
- Black Sabbath were messing around over a cauldron, and reanimated the missing members of the Allman Brothers. Greg Allman spit his (3rd) liver at Ozzie and the 2 bands have been sniping at each other for years. Duane Allman called Ozzy 'a doddereing old man' and the rest of Sabbath reluctantly agreed.
Let me see if I understand this: We have an inalienable right to own guns, but the Judicial branch of government allows the Executive branch to regulate them. Another day in the USA.
This is the heart of the Second Amendment: you're already guaranteed the right to keep and bear arms. Any regulation goes against the Constitution.
We need to be first on the Moon, uh, again, says NASA
It's deja-vu all over again. Except this time it's the Chinese, not the Russians. All we need is a president with a comical accent to announce it.
NASA is afraid of the Chinese getting there first and establishing McDonalds. NASA is also afraid their funding will dry up if they're second and will have to put up Burger Kings.
- But seriously, folks... Russia is sending a manned mission to the Moon, this time racing against India.
- Namibia is sending a manned mission to Gambia
- Pennsylvania seriously considered a manned mission to New Jersey, but realized thousands migrate there every weekend in summer. "Downa shoor"
- People all over the world plan manned expeditions to Kentucky for bourbon. Nobody knows why.
Best headline: How is sign language adapting to climate change?
Create a product that will have people screaming to have their privacy shown the door.
I'm your AWB (Average White Boy), so nothing prepared me for people saying they were born in the wrong body or wanted a sex change. As a libertarian, I have no trouble with operations or feelings. I just like to know how things work, which is why I'm good with computers and electrocuting myself. But how can you understand this? I know I feel really bad for crossing genders, with all the little things one must learn. For instance, if you go from female to male, there are quite a lot of small things on which you must be schooled:
- Your brain is now centrally-located; all your thinking goes on there.
- Since the essence of your being is now in your center, you must celebrate it and constantly remind everyone of this by scratching your balls. Or someone's balls. Adjust yourself regularly. If you have any problems at first, dump some black pepper down there. It will keep your hands busy there all day.
- Before you first turn on your tv, know the remote is YOURS. It does not go out of your reach. Only at special times will you let anyone else operate, or even hold it.
- You are never wrong. But that didn't really change, did it?
- Whenever an attractive female goes by, you must stop all conversation and point her out. Say what you would do to her. After a while, you can involve your penis, but it is always best to keep it out of sight. Police have no sense of humor.
- When having sex, your pleasure is paramount. You will have to fake not knowing where her clitoris is. Just poke around wildly, or refuse to touch it, saying it's dirty. Grab whatever looks good as hard as you can - shell tell you if it hurts. Shrieking, crying, and hanging from the ceiling are good signs you might need to loosen your grip. If it matters.
- All women are 3 input ladies - some just don't know it yet. Make it your job to enlighten them.
- Twirling your hair, tilting your head, and whining will no longer work. Get over it. If all else fails, pull up your pants and grab your groin... it's universal. By the same token, those tiny lumps under your shirt will no longer get you a bloody thing, nor will anyone stare at them.
Astronomer Claims 'Direct Evidence' of Gravity Breaking Down (vice.com)
Now is the time to invest in duct tape!
Always consult Netflix, Amazon, and Google before any major life decisions.
No comments:
Post a Comment