She Spoke of the Second Coming. I Kept Doing What I Was Doing.

Your love is like  cirrhosis of the liver

It was a long time ago - I was a little kid, playing with friends. I watched my parents with their friends, sitting at the table and yacking away. I wondered how bored they must be, just sitting there, talking, It must be horrible.

The other night we were at my brother's house, having dinner. While consuming chocolate dessert that weighed more than my car battery, the kids ran off to play. We talked.

I realized I had become my parents.

I like looking at the blog stats. They're very confusing so occasionally I make stuff up.

I'm not making things up when I say the dominant operating system visiting the blog is linux. Go team! The dominant browser is Chrome. Regardless of your operating system and browser, thanks for coming by! 

• My BFF is a grandfather. I have a dog.

This LiDAR-equipped 30-pound robot dog can be yours for $1,600

• squirts lubricant on furniture
• batteries explode like a Tesla
• chases stuffed animals
• only barks 25 times between charges

Just declassified: US senator caught up in Section 702 FBI surveillance dragnet

The FBI investigated itself and found itself not guilty.

The IRS is developing a free-to-file tax system. 

It's free to get screwed.

There are tens of millions of dollars being poured into Congress by..... wait for it.... HR Block and other tax preparation/filing software companies.

Where you pay to get screwed.

THIS is why America is great!

• Thongs are related to swimwear: the price is inversely proportional to the amount of material used

In their mad dash to terrorize and demoralize their entire workforce, Amazon is demanding some corporate employees return to the office. In a different city. 

On the positive side, Amazon usually screws the hourly employees; this time it's Corporate! No favoritism at all. Next month Amazon will require delivery drivers to deliver in a different state.

It turns out that Bezos is horribly jealous of Musk, and the way he horrifies his employees. Bezos figures he won't be a proper billionaire until he properly screws over the people who work for him. Ok, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Nobody but the readers of ThermionicEmissions will know... there is no animosity between Bezos, Musk and Zuck. In fact they're all good buddies in their own special club. They have competitions to see how badly they can treat their employees til something happens. They learned it from the president of the club, Bill Gates (international war criminal for inflicting Windows upon the world).

Work Pr0n

1. The hardest Drive
2. LANtastic Ladies
3. Turning Floppy Drives to Hard Drives
4. Bigger Power Supplies are Better Power Supplies
5. My Power Cord is Longer than Yours
6. Suck My Pointer Nipple

AAAAAAAAAAAH... these people are driving me crazy. Ok, more crazy. It's work. And it's meetings. There is the morning scheduled meeting. Then the (work through) lunch meetings. Then the afternoon meetings. The boss requires a meeting before he does anything. This becomes even more unpleasant when he has to go to the bathroom: BATHROOM MEETING. He manages by consensus, so if we're ever feeling particularly prickly, we could advise him that today is a bad day to go to the bathroom. The funniest part is that since we work from home, he'll be staring right at his bathroom as we tell him he can't go. All day. MUHAHAHA.

Greta Thunberg carried away by police hours after fine

It turns out Greta's a really smart cookie. She goes nowhere under her own power.... she has the police pick her up and move her. Off to Aruba, Sarge!

 

Scientists Discover That Metals Heal Themselves in 'Astonishing' Breakthrough

Aliens.