You've Got Refried Beans on the Cat

Your love is like   old fish

We've already established ThermionicMansion is an odd place, and this is on top of its residents.

The other day in the bathroom I looked around, which is never a good idea. I kinda understood the hand drum.. an excuse could be made. If the cell phone's battery ran down, one could practice their hand drumming. Well, after it was removed from its box. Because being in a box assures the drum is always fresh and hygienic. I just don't get the tartar sauce. It too was in its container, assuring freshness and hygiene, but still... it was tartar sauce. Was someone likely to be eating fish sticks on the loo? And why tartar instead of cocktail sauce? That is by far not the weirdest thing that goes on at ThermionicMansion, but still... the bathroom is supposed to be more of an output function than an input function (like some women claim about their 'output device').

So why is there tartar sauce in the bathroom? Because if it's not an input function, the alternatives are borderline unthinkable. Diaper rash preventative for the dog? New soap scent? Air freshener? Ya know, sometimes it's ok to just turn your head and not deal with it, so that's what I'm going to do. Now, about the Camaro in the living room...

Borax is the new Tide Pods, and poison control experts are facepalming

Darwin's children are back, now eating detergent pods with borax flavor! Some put tobacco in their mouth, some laundry detergent. At least the detergent will keep their insides clean.  *Borax is good for treating carpets for fleas. Not sure about the taste. Keep watching TikTok - I'm sure there will be all sorts of great new ideas!

• My buddy loves women who smoke cigars. He says if they smoke cigars, they'll put anything in their mouth. 

Hearing aids may cut risk of cognitive decline by nearly half

Will they help if you don't have any hearing problems?

 

RIP Sinead O'Connor (56)

I really did not like her musically. I obviously did not know her personally. She just struck me as damaged goods, looking for something. I hope she found it. Ripping up the pope's picture on tv was ballsy, funny, and a great statement against institutional child abuse - children's lives matter.

Eating sweet treat can cut risk of death by 10%, bombshell study finds

If I never bring you anything else of value, this is IT - CHOCOLATE!  Told you so!

Melting Swiss glacier uncovers climber missing since 1986

Yes, welcome to 2023's biggest sporting event: mapping and finding the dead bodies on the top 10 highest mountains in the world!

• Extra points for identifying the body!
• HINT: look for the shoe 
• you can keep any ski gear you find, but clothing goes with the body
• at no time are the contestants to use the phrase "freezing my ass off"
• the idea is to find the bodies, NOT to bury the other contestants

FBI boss: Congress must renew Section 702 spy powers – that's how we get nearly all our cyber intel

• Because if we don't pass the spying bill, the terrorists win
• It's for the children 
• We need the law to cover up our illegal spying
• Think of all the crime we prevented - here's a list we made up

Where do you find Kurt Cobain and Jimi Hendrix's guitars, Vader's helmet, and Captain Kirk's chair?

In Paul Allen's (RIP) collection and coming soon to a museum.

I really do need one of Jimi's Strats. Can anyone help?

Niger coup: Abdourahmane Tchiani declares himself leader

He could have saved himself a lot of trouble by just calling me first. You see, these things don't end well as a rule. For instance, I declared myself president in 1992, but where did it get me? It gets worse for others, who tend to 'go missing' or 'get shot'. Fleeing to another country is always an option, provided your plane does not experience a malfunction on the runway, due to automatic weapons fire, or the odd rocket-propelled grenade. Occupying the palace is always fun, until the surface to surface missiles 'redecorate' the place. The longest-seated leaders tend to come with CIA backing, but even their heads wind up on posts at the entrance to the city.

Incidentally, heads on posts is not effective with mice, flies, or particularly problematic neighborhood children. The kids just walk by on their way home to play violent video games.