Friday, June 1, 2012

Why Am I Not Making Anything from MIB 3?

This is gonna seem weird, but if it didn't, you wouldn't be reading ThermionicEmissions.
I don't get a single cent for product placement or even recommendations.  Therefore when I recommend something, I had better like it.  Or be really bored at the moment.

If my wife hasn't been to `our' Dunkin Donuts in a day or two, they send her cards asking if she's feeling well.  I like DD but not quite as much.   As I've outlined, there are certain conditions that must be met before setting foot into a Dunkin; largely that the crew is Asian of any variety.  You want to avoid Indian DD's and stay completely away from any Dunkin with a caucasian at the counter.  In fact, if my wife comes across one of the two minority-hire caucasians at our DD, she will wait in a different line.  It probably hasn't made the official statistics yet, but caucasians can't make coffee.

To be truthful, I could take or leave the donuts.  If my wife takes one, it comes back to haunt her for two days, like some sort of deep-fried Zombie Gastritis.  We like the coffee.

I have tried Wawa coffee.  Several different kinds.  And I consider it swill.  It should be against the law for them to call it coffee, which might explain why they spend so much money advertising it.

Unfortunately lately our Dunkin Donuts' coffee has been going downhill.  I only get one good cup out of a few.  This was right up until the MIB 3 promotion happened.  I wasn't aware of the movie or the promotion but the drink looked pretty good on the ad at the store, so I got one.

Yes indeed, that is a serious coffee chocolate drink.  It's iced because there's no sense in drinking it hot.  You don't need to - it's perfect as it is.  My wife gets mad because she gets hot coffee, tastes mine, then realizes she should have gotten a MIB herself.

In addition to the drink, there are a few donuts.  One is a generic chocolate with chocolate frosting.  The other is shaped like a star and has a positively orgasmic deep, rich chocolate cream filling.  Apparently that was enough of a description to convince my wife to try one so off we went this morning.

The first thing I noticed was that the parking lot at `our' DD looked like it needed a couple of traffic cops because it was mobbed.  While we eventually found a spot, the traffic jam on the way out added thirty minutes to my commute.

My wife came out, looking disappointed.   When she went to order the donuts, she was told that they're so popular that they can't keep them on the shelf.  Oh yeah, and today was Donut Day, where they gave out free donuts.

BLOODY HELL - I don't want free donuts.  I'm the kind of guy who doesn't mind paying for his donut, provided the vendor has the donut available for sale.  We got all excited about those chocolate donuts of death, only to be thwarted by the March of the Great Unwashed toward free donuts.  How disappointing.

Furthermore, DD's are generally corporate, so availability is governed by Corporate.  Since I am unwilling to let the drink or the donut go, I shall be writing to Dunkin and I urge you to try them and write along with me.

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