That was sarcasm: one day we high eighteen.
I've been messing around on Twitter lately. I do roughly as well as I do here.
Hmmm.... I wonder what the common element is....
I went to the Sacramento Zoo a long time ago. It being Sacramento, I knew no one.
We came to a mud pit containing two hippos.
"Look-it's cousin Blanche," I observed to my wife.
The people behind me started to laugh.
"Oh - you know her too?"
- I remain confused by my boss, who constantly asks me to try thinking inside the box for once. What do you suppose he means?
I bought my wife a pair of those stilleto heels. She said she can't walk in them.
I told her she didn't have to.
- What is the definition of Zen? Pulling one-ply toilet paper off the roll at work without tearing it.
When she was a bit younger, my wife entered a pageant and won Miss Personalities.
- Q. Which bathroom should Michael Jackson use?
- A. Neither - he's dead.
I can promise you, Loyal Readers, that for your viewing pleasure, I will never post a picture of myself.
- A California bill would outlaw the use of ransomware. They're so damn progressive, those Californians. With this law, all ransomware will stop. As will bad feelings and all computer hacking and handguns.