Anorexic Sumo Wrestling

 

Your love is like  Brillo sandwiches

Best Headline

I Got a Vasectomy and It’s Shockingly Easy and Pain Free

Second Best Headline

Is CERN Causing Collective Mass Delusion by Creating Portals to Alternate Dimensions?

Today I identify as  the aftermath of seven cups of coffee

Biden has the Flying AIDS

He is experiencing mild symptoms, like age-related dementia, hair loss, and wanting to be president after Obama's gone.

The Secret Service carries around a six foot Plexiglas shield, so the president can socially distance.

ThermionicEmissions wishes him a speedy recovery. 

I can't begin to explain how, but there was sumo wrestling on the tv the other night. Perhaps Wife wants to dump me for some wide, diapered meat.  The best part was that it was narrated by an Australian, for that authentic world feel.

I had never seen sumo wrestling for more than a single picture and was not allowed to change the channel or turn off the tv. Two freight trains charged at each other and one tried to floor the other. At some point, a ring referee, who wore an entire Asian clothing shop, ripped a tassel (or skirt) from a wrestler. No one knows why... might be some sort of mating ritual.

The sport lacked the spectacle (and VOLUME) of American wrestling. No belts or ring girls, or gold either. Not even a single script. As for a rating, I give both zero guitar strings.

Be Prepared - the Boy Scout motto

I think my new neighbor was a boy scout. While they are not visibly altering the outside or yard, they are back there, making sure their tools are prepared, by making them go BANG BANG BANG an awful lot, while I'm trying to work. 

While I appreciate the initiative.... 

I was a Cub Scout. If you drank enough of the kool aid, you went on to Boy Scouts.

Near me, in a wooded area, was an incredible mess of 3 tons of beer cans and other detritus, some drug-related. It's where all 'the kids' went to drink and smoke. The Scouts took a Saturday and went to clean it up. They knew to start early so the kids wouldn't show up and beat them up. Again.

This was my introduction to altruism. I didn't like it at all. In fact, I got up early that Saturday, sorry for being up early, then spontaneously called the leader and quit. The woods would take another few months to reach its current state, and I was damned if I was going to clean it (this time or again). It seemed stupid and misguided. Ironically, when I worked at the Twilight Zone<tm> they went to clean up a crack park. While I did not phone in my resignation, I reasoned that we clean the park, the addicts mess it up, then we clean it the next year. And we were proud of our service. I couldn't take the insanity and stayed home, sharpening the nails on our front steps.

As we know, I don't ask for much. All I wanted was some Coke or Dr. Pepper from the supermarket. Coke, if there is any, is over twice the price it was. You can have any of 8 flavors of Dr. Pepper, provided you don't want the original flavor. Last time there was a stack of my grapefruit soda taller than me. Not anymore.

So the problem is, as I see it, that we have no soda.

My foray into lemon water was to help cut down on soda. Since we can't buy soda, we've now gone Cold Turkey. I'm starting to shake all over. Pretty soon I'll have to go to the hospital, where they'll throw me in with the junkies. We'll walk around all day, asking for Coke. It's not going to be pretty.

Be thankful I'm not posting empty soda cans on Faceyspaces or Instagram. 

Second self-driving car accident happens in San Francisco WEEKS from last crash

Somebody from the actual company complained that they're not ready yet. Just like I said - not ready for prime time.

Interestingly, it crashed into a car that was doing 40 in a 25 zone. 

Mexican woman who had reported threats dies after being set on fire

Police report that the 2 events were not related

• We never bought Greenland, did we?

Spanish bull run: Three dead in 24 hours in Valencia hospitals

WHO would be so stupid as to think letting bulls loose and running from them  would result in human casualties? Stay tuned for Lion Poking, Rhinoceros Threatening, and telling bad jokes to kangaroos.

There is no end to human stupidity.

 

Read NASA’s Internal Discussions of UFOs in Newly Released Documents

C'mon. The documents read like the phenomenon just started. We know for a fact that the first Moon shots had 'observers,' as well as many on the Space Station.  More UAP Theater.

 

The Pentagon Is Opening an 'Anomaly Resolution' Department to Study UFOs

but only the ones that come from the ocean.... if you think the Pentagon hasn't been worried about UFOs..... But this is also the group that didn't want to study them because they were satanic. We're paying for this group, you know.

DIY Collective Embeds Abortion Pill Onto Business Cards, Distributes Them At Hacker Conference

--> information wants to be free - there will always be a hack

Hacker selling Twitter account data of 5.4 million users for $30k

IF you have to sign up for something, don't give any details, or just make them up. Pay cash wherever possible. It's your information, guard it wisely.