How was my day?
Glad you asked.
At work I came upon the perfect microcosm of its institutional madness: a VP was trying to stream radio, in spite of our no streaming policy.
Then I discovered that the iPeople are ordering iSoftware on my work credit card (for which I am responsible).
But I'll show them.
The new work room will be done with these..
Next up, it was time to install some really interesting security software. I got the server all set up and wired into the rack then booted up. Or rather, tried to boot up. It might have booted but the rack's monitor flatly refused to display a single thing. It did, however, completely lock up. When was the last time a display locked up on you?
I had to make a phone call, which guaranteed that Nerf Wars (March 2012) would start. There is some sort of invisible connection between me lifting the phone and the noise level in the room going through the roof. Fortunately for me, someone had gone shopping yesterday and appeared with Nerf blow darts and an automatic Nerf rifle, which they proceeded to put to full use during my call.
Speaking of calls, just to make things more interesting, my wife called from the road. The way she explained it, she was lucky to get the car pulled over in time for a precision display of Roadside Emesis (highway vomiting). Much to my dismay, none of this made it to video. She promised to remember next time.
Speaking of the wife, and possibly related to the above, my wife eventually made it to bed around 2am. Within two seconds of her head hitting the pillow, the sound of heavy construction equipment permeated the room (and possibly the neighborhood). Upon evaporation of my last nerve (approximately twenty seconds after the snoring started), I told her to turn over, as she was snoring.
"No I'm not," she replied.
How could I possibly argue with that logic?
So I didn't. Or rather, I didn't until the snoring started back up again, which it did in approximately three seconds.
Honey, you're snoring. Still.
"I was NOT snoring. And besides, you snore and I don't make a big deal out of it and furthermore.... "
I didn't hear the rest of it because she had removed herself from the bed and left the room. Oh well, at least I'd be free from that argument for a bit.
When I finally came down this morning, she was half-sitting on the couch, slumped over, asleep.
Oh well, at least she wasn't snoring.
When it comes to the snoring, why is it that the denial is always in direct proportion to the culprits Richter Scale reading?
ReplyDeleteA good deterrent is to rake your toenails up the length of the perpetrators calf/shin. Give it a try.
Go ahead. Keep teasing the wife about her alleged snoring. See if you don't wake up with a 9" kitchen knife securely sheathed in your chest. Don't say it can't happen to you. That's what all the husbands who've been recently converted to counter-top kitchen knife blocks said.
ReplyDelete