Your love is like battle fatigue
Most of the people in the civilized parts of the US (both of them) have had it with the barrage of Medicare commercials. I can't make the commercials stop but I wanted to share some knowledge (I was in the field). Medicare is Medicare, and you can pretty much do what you want. You'll need a supplementary insurance to take care of the remaining 20% Medicare doesn't cover, and a Part-D for meds. The commercials you see are completely disingenuous, with their 'you are owed this stuff' patter. The truth is that, while you may get certain things by switching to a single all-in-one insurance, you're going to lose something too. Insurance doesn't make money by offering you perks. The perks are in exchange for something, frequently choice.
The bottom line is if you're considering an all-in-one plan, go over every single thing you need that's covered under Medicare, including meds. Then see if the other insurance covers all of it. The business of insurance is a business, and quite nasty. It is the responsibility of the consumer to make sure they're getting what they need. If you've got questions, ask away. Nothing personal will show up in Comments.
While we're on Commercials that Kill, we couldn't get by without lawyer commercials. You must remember - nothing you do to yourself is your fault and you are owed Big Bucks<tm> for everything that 'happens' to you. Slide on ice in the middle of an ice storm? It's obviously the fault of the person who owns the sidewalk. Watch some car hit a bus, then jump on the bus and claim whiplash? It's obviously the fault of the bus company and the car that hit it.
I have to admit, all these commercials have had an effect on me. I realized it while on the phone with one of the lawyers' offices...
Lawyer's Office: Cohen, Goldstein, and Pondhockey - how can we help you?
lefty: I need to talk to a lawyer.
LO: Sure, what's wrong?
lefty: it's a long story, but you say on the commercials that I am owed Big Bucks<tm> for anything, so I feel pretty bad and I want Big Bucks<tm>. They say if you want to win, get a Philly lawyer. You guys are known throughout the world as THE sharks. Is that really true?
LO: Absolutely is, Sir. Actually, what they say is to get a Philly Jewish lawyer, and we have the most Jewish lawyers of any Philly lawyers office. Some of them are doctor/lawyers too. Can you imagine such a thing? Double shark, with a complete lack of conscience or humility. Or sense of humor. What kind of case is this, Sir?
lefty: Doctor AND lawyer? Do you have to keep them separated from people?
LO: We only let them out for court. Court and dining. They keep themselves sharp by being rude to waiters. Have you ever seen a South Philly waiter? They eat sharks for snacks.
lefty: I am starting to shiver. I have a case it's difficult to describe. It's more of a 'feels' thing than a falling thing.
LO: Ok, feels. Let me connect you with a female lawyer. They have (or had) some empathy and are better with feel things. I'm putting you through to Mrs. Cohen.
lefty: the one in the practice's name?
LO: No. Most of our lawyers are named Cohen. If they're not, we have their name changed. It scares the hell out of most other lawyers outside of Philadelphia. You'll be speaking to Tina Cohen.
LO: Tina Cohen's office - this is Tina - how can I help you?
lefty: Tina, my name is lefty and your commercials say I am owed money, so I want you to get me some.
LO: Certainly, lefty. Who recommended me?
lefty: The front office recommended you because you may still have a vestigial sense of empathy.
LO: Yes, I am the one that best imitates empathy and caring. What will we be suing for today?
lefty: I am a tried and true, red white and blue American. I am of a certain age and have been sued twice.
LO: That sounds a little light, but there's still time to be sued more. How can I help?
lefty: It's very difficult to admit this, but I've never sued anybody.
LO: Did I hear you correctly? You're American and you've never sued anybody?
lefty: [pause] ah.. yes.
LO: Then you're not really American, are you?
lefty: It's a good thing they routed me to the one that best emulates empathy.
LO: How can I help you? [snort]
lefty: Well, I need you to tell me. I feel really bad about this, and I figure I'm entitled to something because I feel really bad about this.
LO: lefty, I have to be honest.. you're the first client that ever had this problem. I'm going to have to pull in the Really Big Cohens to help me with this. The ones they don't let near people. The one that hasn't come out of his office in 25 years but wins every case.
lefty: that sounds... scary. And impressive.
LO: Tell me about the suits filed against you.
lefty: I was playing in a band at a party. Someone died. It was somehow our fault. I was also sued for being some combination of nazi, asshole, white supremacist, and racist supervisor, because an incompetent coworker got fired. The fact he admitted he used to take naps in his car never made it to the process.
LO: I see. That's kinda light for your age range. Have you considered tripping over your own huge feet on somebody's sidewalk? Going on a kiddie ride and claiming a serious back injury? Riding a bus and claiming no hair on your entire body will grow? Total alopecia?
lefty: uhhh, no. I was pretty traumatized by both suits, actually. I swore never again.
LO: Now we're getting somewhere. We will start by suing both people who sued you, for emotional trauma. That's a good start. The other item, you not having sued anybody, is a little more complicated.
lefty: Ok, why?
LO: Well, there's really no precedent for it. No specific entity has caused your feeling poorly because you haven't sued anybody. Technically it's your fault for not having sued, but we never blame the client - it generates no billable hours. Look, I've very quickly consulted with the Ruling Junta and they've decided to go with The Showstopper. Because there's no specific entity to sue, we're going to sue everybody. The entire planet. Every person and group of people. No one in the history of the law has ever pulled this one off. They never even tried. Once again, a Philly lawyer will be the first and make headlines. We will not rest until other lawyers wet their pants when they find out they're up against a Philly lawyer.
lefty: your commercial said no money due until case is settled. Is that correct?
LO: Absolutely. Considering the hugely immense size of this case, we may give you a million dollars monthly, as walking around money.
lefty: uhhh... when this hits the press and legal journals, can we keep my name out of it? I want to live to enjoy my Big Bucks<tm>.
LO: Certainly. Although I can't understand why anybody wouldn't want to be tied to the largest lawsuit ever, we respect your privacy. Unless somebody sues you.
lefty: Who do I sue about this weather? There's another historic suit for you...
Today I identify as one of those things in your eye that you see swimming around, but you know isn't real
- I sent my last taxes in with a Return Reciept. It took 4 weeks to return.
Today the president noticed CNN's fact-checker isn't on the air all day, and hasn't been since November 4th. He wants to offer him some sort of position, because unemployment is a bitch.
I work for an incredible guy. He doesn't micromanage, doesn't bother me, and asks for what he needs done, knowing his people will come up with it.
The other day I got a call.
Boss: Hey lefty - I hate to bother you, but Major Manglement let me know a few people on my staff were underperforming.
lefty: UNDERperforming? I get merit raises, great reviews, and Get Out of Jail Free coupons from HR, for when I offend people.
Boss: understand, it's not me. Major Manglement has been collecting info, crunching numbers, and making them into very colorful, meaningless charts and graphs.
lefty: what is it this time? Naps not long enough? Insufficient pr0n downloaded?
Boss: No. It's our Deleted Items folders.
lefty: I see. Dare I ask what about it?
Boss: it's too small
lefty: and how have they come up with this specific gem? Who decided how many is enough?
Boss: You know how it goes - I have no idea. But I'm under quota too. Just bring it up to quota. Then I can call you for more amusing stuff. By the way, you should probably not identify Windows as a virus in large corporate meetings, as true as it is.
lefty: understood. Here's my plan - feel free to use it: Write a filter to delete everything starting with an 'A' on Friday. Then put it back first thing Monday. Or just use Deleted as your inbox.
Boss: this is why you get merit raises.
a study found that heterosexual males posing with a cat in their photos were “less masculine when holding the cat, higher in neuroticism, agreeableness, and openness; and less dateable” by more than 1,300 women.
I didn't know this required a study.
IT'S *$&#ING SNOWING AGAIN. 10" yesterday. Freezing rain last night. Quiet most of today. Then SNOW. Unacceptable. I used to work and sit on the couch. Now I work and I shovel. I prefer the former. So if you're watching the news tonight and there's a ha-ha story about some guy losing it and going nuts with a flamethrower attached to a shovel, you might be reading his blog.
And as I'm outside, shoveling, for the 3rd time this week, my right earphone keeps falling out. Thus proving I have 2 left ears.
Remember: most heart attacks occur while shoveling. I am not making this up. Be careful, unless you live in Arizona, in which case we'll be at your place in 8 hours.
- Here's a video from an article on communicating with lucid dreamers. It's done scientifically. It's quite interesting. I suspect this is the beginning of something big and they don't know how big. But what do I know?
But wait... it's going to snow again tomorrow. Who did what to whom?
Monday snow is the worst of all snows. Monday is the worst day of the week, so Monday snow just piles it on. Monday snow is bigger snow. If you're getting 3" of snow, it's tolerable. If you're getting 3" of Monday snow, move to Hawaii. The flakes are not only heavier, they're generally shaped in variations of the letter F, as in F- you. Some snowplow services will not guarantee work on Monday snow, preferring to wait until at least Friday, when it's plowable. Keep the kids indoors because if they get lost in 2" of Monday snow, you may not find them til July. Do not take this as a hint.
As is custom lately, it's supposed to rain afterwards, washing all the snow away. Nope. Don't try to pull the wool over our eyes - we're hip to this shit. Kick the ball, Charlie Brown. The forecast of rain is just to keep the proles from rioting after yet another snow storm, especially on Monday. By now, the snow is higher than some of the smaller houses on the block, and the neighbors are taking turns trying to dig a tunnel to the front door. Snow brings out the best and worst in humanity - like social media. Of course tunneling assumes the resident wants to come out of the house. It gets really ugly if the resident has kids. They start tunneling from the front door and the neighbors start from the sidewalk. They meet in the middle, but 2' off, like a $2 billion tunnel project in New York.
Speaking of which, I am advised the Crazy Lady, our bad neighbor, was 'taken away' yesterday. They never take her to the Happy Place, just to the hospital. Maybe it's time for her to transfer into a new body - she's over 470 now. Although I thought body transfer happened in her basement, not the hospital. I hope she's ok - I strive not to wish anything bad to happen to her. Mrs lefty tolerates her much better than I do: she was taught to respect her elders. I was also taught to respect my elders, but not after they run you over with a truck, then back up to make sure they got you.
- Anthony "Just 3 Weeks of Masks" Fauci says Americans may need to wear masks in 2022, even as restrictions relax. They may need a booster.
We all know to support our local businesses. Nowhere is this more true than Nevada, where legal brothels are suffering because of the Flying AIDS. They're suffering from the prehistoric regulators who won't let them open. The ladies are forced to do internet shows to make ends meet.
Can you imagine when their Idiot Governor allows them to open, on May 1, then decrees masks and social distancing? This is why we need as little government as possible.
IS THIS THING ON?
The entire Oakley Union Elementary School District board has resigned. While this would normally be a good thing, they resigned because they were bashing parents and forgot the meeting was live and open to the public.
They need to go back to school.
Saudi Ladies - It's Your Time
Women in Saudi Arabia can now enter the military.
- As long as they don't want to go past sergeant
- they must wear religious coverings over their armor
- the death toll is expected to rise, as the women must stay 10' behind the men
- no driving, and Good Lord - no flying. Just laundry.
- everyone must pray 5x/day, even under fire, and the women must clean the prayer rugs
- the least attractive recruits must keep their faces completely covered
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| Why do you think bargain fares are so low? Now get out and pedal. |
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