Your love is like people who confuse Beck with Jeff Beck
Fresh (ha!) off the Great Length Controversy, where the foot-long subs weren't quite 12" long, Subway is in trouble again. 2 people have filed suit, claiming the tuna isn't tuna. Do they think it's roast beef?
Subway admitted to the Length Controversy and said anybody who wanted could have 12". Nobody took them up on their offer. As for the tuna, a spokesfish said their tuna is made of flaked tuna, liquid preservative, mayonnaise-like substance, and tap water. Sounds like you can't get better tuna anywhere else, including fancy restaurants downtown. I've had it and my fingers stunk for hours afterwards, so as far as I'm concerned, that's real tuna.
I used to go to Subway a lot when I was near one. The ones near me all closed up and moved after they were accused of having no bologna in their bologna. While standing in line, I noticed the young lady behind the counter had long, very dark arm hair. My companion suggested checking out her name tag. I'm sure this is a normal name wherever she came from, but it was Aman.
- only 20 minutes late for work today, due to Windows
- I wonder if anybody has done a study on productivity lost due to Windows
I found some Philly news online. As with most news today, they have a diverse crew: the flaming homosexual male and the black female with a dazzling smile, and teeth so abnormally bright she blinds half the viewers. For some reason, my eye was drawn to the latina doing weather. She was quite fetching and the camera caught a good view of parts that were not her face. It turns out weather is the most popular feature of the news, shown every 5 minutes for ratings. They picked the perfect way to do this, as no one can forecast weather correctly, and viewers can never remember what she forecasted anyway. She frequently messes up and gives the forecast from Chicago or L.A., but no one ever notices or complains. Her ratings are through the roof with males 13 to death and females from certain parts of the city.
Today I identify as fuck
The nightmare that is Philadelphia has made the news once again. And once again, it's Battle of the Idiots. Whenever you see Philly in the news, it's not for liberty or generosity - it's because someone did something illegal and/or stupid. This time it's Flying AIDS vaccines. The guy running the mismangled vaccine site took shots home for his homies. He defended himself in absolute Philly Fashion, by saying there were 4 vaccines left over and he was following guidelines to vaccinate everybody.
His sister works in a bank. Accused of stealing, she defended herself by saying that money is meant to be spent, so at the end of the day, there was a few thousand in her draw, so she took it home and spent it, per bank regulations.
His father works on the Stock Exchange. Accused of pilfering stocks, he defended himself by saying that good stocks should be held onto, so he took the stocks home to hold onto them.
- the CDC (Currently Dearth of Concentration) has ordered a new mask mandate for planes, buses, and any public transportation
- also ordered were mask madates when driving, in the bathroom, and especially during sex
Mainstream of Pr0n?: Midnight University, Fear Thy Roommate, What Lies Below, Humshakals
I saw an ad for HSC. Oh no, I thought.. another shopping network I have to hide from Wife. I got lucky, however: it's the Horse Shopping Channel. I feel reasonably certain there is no need or want for a horse. Plus the auctioneer spoke so quickly, no one could understand him anyway. Just in case, I'll block the channel. Where would we put a horse anyway? I'm not sure Penny wants to share her yard with what she thinks is a very big dog. Plus you have to take care of horses... you have to buy hay, groom them, milk them, and ride them. And as usual, whatever I get that's larger than a car will prompt legislation. Because of me, you can't park a tank on your lawn, especially if the turret is pointed at your neighbor. I was one day away from a law prohibiting Slinkies up in the trees, but I took them down before the neighbor complained... probably that they were biting her or spying on her trees.
And speaking of Penny, gravity continues to bedevil her. She's been here over 2 years and when she brings a toy on the couch, it continues to fall off. She hasn't learned that you have to chew on it where it won't fall down. You can hear her sigh when it falls... sometimes she'll go after it, sometimes she'll just lay there. I'm beginning to think she wasn't the smartest pup in the litter. She was a rescue, so it's not like we had any choice. She's lucky she's such a sweetheart and pretty.
Today the president discovered Iraq may have a nuclear bomb within months, and is upset with Myanmar for the coup. It's a refreshing change from his predecessor, who was less into war. He also mandated masks for everybody in the country except himself, figuring he'd be safe that way.
- sometimes not watching mainstream tv is a blessing. Other times... well... you don't find out it's going to snow off and on for the next few days, resulting in 6-12" of snow.
- I'm certain there's not a loaf of bread or carton of milk to be found in a 3 state radius
- 6-12" of snow generally means anything but 6-12" of snow. I'm going for history, where 6-12" means 4" or nothing at all
- I also don't know what kind of storm this is. Snow is snow, unless they give it a type, like Noreaster or Norwester, or Bob.
- I do know I'm going to be responsible for shoveling. I wouldn't care normally, because there's little reason to leave the house. In fact, working from home is producing a worldwide movement: We Want Snow Days. Unless the snow enters the house, we get nothing.
- the dog, from Down South, has had it with this weather and wants a plane ticket for her birthday
- the weather is worst at the Jersey shore. So stay off the damn beach, ok?
- New Jersey and New York (but not New Hampshire) have declared states of emergency. Pennsylvania is a permanent state of disaster.
I'd prefer politicians didn't exempt themselves from spam laws.
I finally figured out how to stop all spam calls, but stopping texts is a different matter. In fact, no call from anyone not in my address book gets through. One small improvement made a difference in quality of life.
- Yet another reason not to use Google: it directed users to a Home Depot scam ad
- duckduckgo.com for your searches - it doesn't track
Know how you read the stories of male teachers having sex with female students and shake your head? It's not right AND it's illegal.
Then there's the stories of female teachers having sex with male students. This is also illegal, but we see it differently. In fact, everybody's high-fiving the kid and forming a line to also be molested.
What about the aliens? Everybody jokes about the old anal probe. What about when the female aliens have their way with male humans? It's not technically illegal (yet). Do the abductee's buddies share sly smiles? Would it be the same if he got picked up in a bar by an alien? Do aliens go to bars? Do they have a sex drive? Do they take one for the team and pick up the ugly human? Is there a wing-alien who helps her buddy score? Do humans get better looking later on, after a few too many? What gets aliens drunk - alcohol? Carpet cleaner? Pac Man? If they don't like you, do they erase your memory and dump you on the river bank?
The final, and most important question, is how you tell which ones are male and which ones are female. Cuz you don't want any surprises when you get home, amiright?
Today the Russians announced their new envoys to the US
They emphasized there was absolutely no way they were trying to steal secrets.
- Fresh from Black History Month, it's LGBT+ History Month
- still no left handed history month
Check to see if your router has potentially been hijacked by criminals (F-Secure)
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