Your love is like a bottle of herpes
- TikTok is removing educational hacking videos
- Watch the dance videos. Drool. Be a good citizen.
Today in Olympics news: George Harrison disqualified from Paralympics when judges ruled death does not qualify as a handicap
President Taxit wants to create hundreds of thousands of jobs with a civilian climate corp.
priorities as young adults find work installing solar panels, planting trees, digging irrigation ditches and boosting outdoor recreation...
This will obviously cost nothing. Obviously a government function. Boosting outdoor recreation?
Out of control.
Today I identify as a womb
Yet somehow this is bent around to being discriminatory to women.
Or something. There's a lot of statistics.
In the end what they're saying is to wait a while then go to college, when the women far outnumber the men. You chance of scoring goes up exponentially. Lesbians too.
- Singapore Police to Deploy Snitch Bots That Search for 'Undesirable Social Behaviors'
- I don't live in Singapore but this is pretty frightening
So, uh, get to work....
- immutable law of physics: if you have two keyrings in your pocket, you will always pull out the wrong one
So there's one day til my dentist appointment.
He's going to do something to me that I haven't had done before.
The procedure rhymes with 'pull'. Or "I'm going there to donate teeth."
I'm scared shitless. I hope the chair is non-stick.
I asked what can help nervous patients. I suggested not showing up, but he poo-pooed that idea. I asked about sleep meds, and he said no, because he likes to see the terror in patients' eyes. I asked if getting drunk would help. They only have nitrous. I want the happy gas, dammit! I want to be knocked so far out that I want to have the procedure.
They gave me a choice of what I wanted done with the hole. This would normally be an easy shot, but we're talking about my mouth here. It's usually open, so I want to be careful. Doc offered me one of those plate things. I have this repeating nightmare of taking care of a plate for the rest of my life. Then he suggested the Drill and Screw and Glue option, wherein they take a metal screw and put it in your jaw, then put a tooth-like substance on top of it. There is no dental insurance in the world that's gonna pay the $2,000 per screw. Plus I get the Screaming Heebee Jeebies (aka the douche chills) about screwing something into my jaw.
When he found out my favorite color was green, he said he could glue in a green metal tooth. I suggested maybe hot pink. He parried with a grill. I told him I don't listen to the kind of music that requires grills. He suggested a barbecue grill, which got my attention. I asked about smokers... I like my meat smoked, so why not my teeth. He said insurance will cover 50% of grills but not smokers.
He told me about a thing called a bridge. I asked what the toll would be, and would the monies go directly to me. Apparently they remove a tooth and build a superstructure between the two adjoining teeth. He thinks I'm stupid, though... he wants to remove 2 adjacent teeth, which would require a suspension bridge, which would twist frighteningly in the wind.
There's these veneer thingies. This is where the dentist brings in his kids, some tooth-shaped material, and some super glue. The kids attempt to get the fronts on the teeth before the glue dries and the teeth go on sideways. This either makes the kids enthusiastic to go into dentistry, or decide on a safer career, like cow inseminator.
To make all of this worse, I found out the doctor is a lefty, which is rare in dentistry. Are you reading me here? All of the equipment is backwards. So I'm going to let a dentist do stuff to me with equipment designed for the wrong hand. That's reassuring.
- those of you who work.... in any talk with superiors, mention AI. It's the current buzzword. It will make them aware how forward-thinking you are. It doesn't even have to be anything intelligible - "I was thinking AI would really give us good ROI on the sanitation project." It will only be a matter of time til your promotion. Or til your boss takes credit for your idea.
There are a ton of HD external cameras available for your computer.
Most laptops have cameras built-in.
Trust me - the last thing you want is your colleagues to see you in Hi Def....
Most of us don't wear pants
- Biden and his staff are exempt from the vaccination/testing mandate
- hmmmmm.......
- NEW - Dr. Fauci: Proof of vaccination or negative test for domestic travel within the U.S. "is on the table for discussion."
- Which countries are vaccinating children and why?
- Tension over boosters rises as FDA regulators quit and publicly blast Biden’s plan - side with WHO on boosters, citing insufficient data
Hypergiant Industries is trying to launch satellites to search for UFOs on earth.
That's a serious duplication of effort and waste of money. Don't you think existing satellites track incomings? The answer is classified, but you can start with NORAD.
- According to Science, the world now sees twice as many days over 50C
- Quite frankly, I'm not taking climate change seriously until they start measuring temperature in Fahrenheit
...taking the world by storm:
- airplanes taught to hold it in - "I told you to go before we left"
- Mexico closes after beans outlawed
- people taught to use toilets (except San Francisco)
- remember: if you outlaw poo, only outlaws will poo
- cats refuse all training, but nobody seriously expected that to happen
The doctors told me it's bad form to kill people.
It's been 2 days.
The alcoholics say "One day at a time."
Unfortunately, I'm not an alcoholic.
- Know what sucks?
- many many things
- among them is staff meetings, eulogizing lost coworkers
I like to learn the hard way.
In fact, I insist on it.
So I report spam.
Yesterday I reported spam from an Outlook account.
Today I got a notice that the email violated Outlook's terms of service and they took appropriate action.
It must've been swift and severe, because I reported the same spam last week.
I am currently at war with my ear. In order to maintain anonymity, I'm not going to tell you which one.
For no apparent reason, it gets itchy.
So I scratch it.
This morning all was well, so I told myself I wouldn't scratch.
So naturally I scratched it.
And it started itching.
So I scratched it.
When it stopped itching, I noticed my hand reaching up to scratch it.
This went on all morning.
I may have to wear an ear guard. Or a hand guard.
My dental insurance sent me an email with teeth health tips.
The absolute best was to avoid sugar.
If I avoided sugar, I'd have nothing to eat.
When I was a little bastard, I'd eat Sugar Snacks. When we were out somewhere, I'd open a sugar packet and eat the contents. The parental response was priceless. I should probably stop that sometime soon.
- The Teamsters File for First Union Election at an Amazon Warehouse in Canada. Canada is in no way ready for broken windshields, slashed tires, verbal harassment, broken limbs, and all the other joys that come from the Teamsters. After about two days, Canada will tell Amazon to get it's stuff together and tell the unions to leave.
Miss Ireland 2021 is the first black winner of the crown.
A case of whiskey was delivered backstage, after which a huge brawl broke out over someone's mother and because Miss Ireland didn't sound Irish enough.
- Remember the shutdown of Gatwick Airport in England because of a drone?
- There was no drone, except for the police drone, looking for the offending drone
- miscreants and jokers kept calling in alerts
- I continue to smell shenanigans
Honey, I smell something.
Oh, you always smell something.
It's only during the day.
Sure it is. What do you smell?
I'm not sure, but I think I smell pee.
You smell pee?
Yes.
During the day?
Yes. And why can't we get blue bricks?
Because they're all red - you know that.
I'm beginning to think this living on Mars thing is way overrated.
I don't know what you're complaining about. Aside from no breathable atmosphere, no plumbing, no food, and making shelter with blood and piss, what's wrong? Try being grateful for once in your life. We only paid $4 million for this honor.
- It's almost predictable: watch out for Flying AIDS spam or phishing
Michelin now has an airless tire. The reviews are in:
- Flat
- Not as square as one would expect - (Science)
- Flatter than an anorexic at a food-tasting event
- Flat - (Auto Trend)
- Flat Flat
- Mostly round, except where it's flat
- They should have considered air, like all other tires
- Flat - (Batman)
- What is it - a Tilt-a-Whirl? - (Joe Biden)
There's been a whole lotta noise lately about 'right to repair'. If you don't know what that is, allow me: Tesla wanted $22,500 to replace a battery in an out of warranty car. An independent repair shop fixed it for $5,000. Many companies want to be the only ones to do any and all repairs, like Tesla and Apple. This is why. The government is going after the giants to allow right to repair. Please consider this if you're considering a Tesla. Is even a $5,000 charge ok?
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