Twitter Ate my Laptop

Your love is like  an ibuprofen sandwich

This is gonna rock your world:

Avoiding social media for just one week significantly boosts well-being, cuts depression

Today I identify as  You.

 

You know me.. .I'm movin' along, minding my own business, when I log into Twitter. The moment I get logged in, the laptop goes Pbthllllt and shuts off. No manner of troubleshooting, screaming, masturbating, or appealing to various religious entities produces anything.

One dead laptop.

One dead expensive laptop.

With unsaved browser windows going back a week, plus today's work.

No power to a device is a bad thing: that means the problem is inside the laptop. Fixing it is beyond the abilities of mortal men.

Fortunately it's been a quiet 24 hours. Because I've had all that time of calm, a BLIP was obviously necessary. Prior to that, someone made charges on my atm card and it got eaten up at the atm. Then I had to go to the bank to get a new one. You know me - I'm an amateur agoraphobic - I don't want to go outside.

One of our readers also has similar luck. We theorize that if Bad Stuff did not happen to us regularly, the universe and everything in it would go out of whack, catastrophically. So we're essentially keeping the universe (and everything in it) safe, straight, and narrow for you. No need to thank us.

The doctors said, "You sure get more than your share of this."  Ah, sweet validation.

It's not that my back is out, but I think it's down the block. It never does useful stuff, like getting me pizza. It's not that pain relievers don't relieve the pain, but pain relievers don't relieve the pain. So long as I don't sit, try to stand, try to stop sniffing glue, or get out of bed, I'm good.

Weird stuff is happening with my email address. Some of the emails aren't getting through to others. Some TO me are bouncing. No one knows why.

We're also at war with a doctor. He's winning, because he won't call back.

But I want to assure you - aside from that, everything is just ducky

Speakin' uh Twitter, they threw me off for 12 hours yesterday because I made a boo-boo. Their automation thought I made a boo-boo. This is why Musk bought Twitter.

I just did a little breakdown of my phone bill.

$1.99 for E911 services.  I don't want this. I don't care.

$5.99 for some bulldookey about compliance and IP - shouldn't this be included?

42% of my bill is for government mandated taxes and fees 

Has the government taken too much yet?

Now, pull out your taxes or at very least your pay stub. Be prepared to be nauseous. Do you have any idea how much money is being stolen from us on a weekly basis? Do you have any idea where it's going? If America checked this out, there would be rioting. (and while we're rioting, BLM will be looting stores) 

• Wife pointed out a commercial for a wireless bra
• how does it connect to your wireless router? 

There is a breakthrough in research on Gulf War Syndrome. Exposure to sarin nerve gas is the new explanation. The article can be positive news, but doesn't state the treatment. It also doesn't mention how soldiers came to be exposed to it. Sarin is usually fatal, but it was diluted. Also watch the larger picture of how new issues are dealt with. They're noticed, repeatedly denied, a cause discovered, more denial, then admission and coverage begins. Even if responsibility is accepted, no organization is penalized. Watch for this in the news of pharmaceutical companies around the Flying AIDS. The latest news about Pfizer is a perfect example.

God bless Canada. Their latest huge problem is a Member or Parliament calling into a debate from a toilet. I wish this could be everyone's biggest problem.

Oscar nominee James Cromwell glued his hand to a Manhattan Starbucks counter in protest over the chain's surcharge on vegan milk. The real shock of the entire episode is that it was a PETA demonstration. The technical psychological term for this is 'Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.' You can tell that Cromwell hasn't been with PETA long - if he were, he would have glued his penis to the counter, not his hand.

Vegan milk? That has to be almost as good as nonfat milk (water with weak white food coloring).

• After 21 years, Apple is discontinuing the iPod. 
• they felt it wasn't proprietary or annoying enough, vowing to come up with something more proprietary and more expensive. 
• And because the Smug was wearing off.

Part 43 of ThermionicEmissions' (Death) Cycle of Business

The company suddenly comes up new 'leadership teams.' This is usually after the old leadership teams get blamed for something that wasn't their fault, but they need Change. This works out about as well as Obama's Change.

Leadership Teams is a much more pleasant way of saying 'the people who say DO AS YOU'RE TOLD (no matter how stupid our ideas are).'

With the new teams comes new vision.

Uh-oh.

Any incoming leadership feels pressured to make a Big Splash<tm>, which translates to 'a new, annoying and onerous policy or procedure.' This makes it look like the new guy is really hitting the ground running and Doing Stuff.

Vision is short for "you better run, quickly."

It means "We have ideas. New and better ideas, based upon the old ideas. But we renamed them. Some will be fired. More will be hired. There will be consultants. There will be meetings and PowerPoint slides. There will be a short adjustment period of about 4 years because no one will pay attention to our bullshit, then because our vision has become greatly impaired." In the 5th year, there will be another new leadership team, with their own vision. Repeat until... something.

Meanwhile, the people who are already doing the job well just shake their collective heads until whiplash ensues.

People who have vision are best treated with antipsychotic medicines. This usually cuts down the audio and visual visions. The latest crop of antipsychotics makes you only half the zombie the old versions did. They render someone incapable of doing much (harm). This is extremely important to the company because it needs to feel something is being done. It also helps to not disturb the people who are actually doing things.

Anybody with sense can appreciate the call to end Forever Wars (Afghanistan, for one). The Military Industrial Complex brilliantly figured a way around this in Ukraine, sending everything they could, except actual troops. This way they get their billions in funding but manage to look like we're not involved. It's a win for everyone (except the taxpayers and people with morals). This is global - not just a US issue.   Follow the Money.

• Scientists have discovered that the environmental crisis was caused by the caveman's failure to stop eating meat. It's all gone downhill from there.

Only in America

Starbucks worker stages walkout over unsafe working conditions and retaliation from management over unionization efforts.  To prove worker was wrong, management fired him. He now goes to rallies in his fursuit. Yes, he's a furry. 

But wait - there's more!!

He hoped going in his fursuit would represent the diversity of the movement. If I were Starbucks I'd sue him for representing Starbucks as hiring furries. You gotta draw the line somewhere.