Your love is like a significant mustache. On your aunt.
The author of a book on how to murder your husband was found guilty of....
wait for it....
murdering her husband.
Mrs. lefty wrote a book on how to get rid of bodies.
uh-oh
Today I identify as something found under an overpass
So it's morning, the condition that affects every day. I managed to avoid it last weekend by getting up at 2pm. But, work being what it is, I must face the dreaded Morning Blues.
I normally do well, but this morning is special: the new neighbors apparently feel their basement is leaky. This is my guess, as the truck in their parking spot says DRY BASEMENT. The occupants of said truck are a delightful parody of construction workers, with YO-ing, high fiving, and General Noise. This just makes me want to kill them brightens up my work morning. I couldn't wait for the Main Noise. The Main Noise is the VERY LOUD machinery that comes with any job, from dry basement, to new windows, to ripping up the street. It only took a little while... there was a noise that sounded like a compressor or a huge hose, being pulled along concrete steps, then it stopped. Then it started again. It only took another minute to discover that the Main Noise would not be constant; it would be intermittent, thus more noticeable. In essence, they were pouring concrete, so it went POUR NOISE vroom, then nothing, then POUR NOISE.... this is actually worse than constant noise. And I thought they couldn't come up with anything more annoying than constant noise. The human spirit lives on...
But I typed too quickly: they just added a noise that sounds like a pneumatic hammer - the kind they use on streets. Since they probably don't need a pneumatic hammer to coat basement walls, I'm going to go with some sort of motor. It's quite nice of them to change things up for me. It's like a symphony in parts. Metal parts.
Silence
BANG BANG BANG BANG
Silence
BANG BANG BANG BANG
Silence
BANG BANG BANG BANG
- A woman in the US has been charged with murder after she allegedly tracked down her boyfriend using an Apple AirTag and ran him over after seeing him with another lady
- another iDevice-related death
Mozilla announced their Thunderbird (email) will be coming to android. It will supplant the existing K9 mail. Can't wait- highly recommended for desktop or mobile. The only thing I'd like to see in K9 is a spam filter. Since desktop Thunderbird has one, perhaps it will make the android version.
You know... this boy toy thing looks interesting. I wonder if Mrs. lefty will be persuaded to treat me as one.... I have to be careful, lest she misunderstand and go find one instead.
- I'm super excited to go super shopping today. Then I'll be super unpacking the bags and super making dinner. It'll make me feel super good. I'll be making super sandwiches, but I don't know which.
Mick Jagger tested positive for the Flying AIDS. He never knew he had it.
The band's ability to perform, sometimes while dead, is legendary.
The next album, of which we heard a preview, is all about ailments the band has. A deluxe version features the band sitting around discussing their illnesses. The only heathy band member is Keith Richards, who had his entire body replaced after his dalliance with heroin (1968-2019). [The late] Charlie Watts played three shows before his burial. The band now performs with a new bassist and drummer, referred to as "The Black Guys."
Mick (92) is only recently showing his age. This is a grave improvement over last tour, when he showed someone
else's age. Experts cannot figure out how a bunch of old geezers have black and brown hair, but no gray. At one point the Stones auditioned Jeff Beck, but weren't able to hire him because Ron Wood and he had the same tall black hair and Ron used to play bass in the Jeff Beck Group. Why this was a problem, nobody knows. Jeff declared himself too talented and left, but there are copies of their jam session out there somewhere.
Little known fact: The Stones are the first totally animatronic band. All live shows are electronic (super-secret alien technology) and all new songs are generated by Artificial Intelligence. On this year's tour, Ron Wood is as tall as the rest of the band.
- Paul McCartney is about to be 80. What a nice guy...
- we really need to talk left handed guitars, Paul.
Bad local news: the Crazy Lady, our evil 479 year old neighbor graduated to assisted living. She just got transferred to hospice, meaning The End is Near. She is going to annoy somebody in the afterlife. Ok I'll leave her alone, finally.
This brings up two points
- she hasn't lived there in months, yet there is trash every week
- one far-flung relative- that's it. She goes, the house sells. Makes one question life. What was it all for?
The loneliest person in the world is the person running a meeting at work. I have no idea why this is, but it's constant. My boss could ask what 1+1 is and there would be dead silence. I try to help out by giving wildly incorrect answers, but gave up when I couldn't hear anyone laughing. Along those lines, I had to send out an email to my entire group the other day. Like the meeting, total silence. I asked their experience with something, plus a question about ice cream at virtual meetings. Nothing. Answering the email will make their jobs easier, but no. It got so bad the Boss re-emailed the group, reminding them I asked for input, bless him. Because he knows... the loneliest person in the world is the person running a meeting (or sending an email).
JFC, I do not see that bird, jumping around the living room. It is not there.
Some days the crazy hurts.
Now that I think about it, he probably wants to visit the armadillo in the attic. Maybe they can have tea with the bees in the bedroom. Butterfingers with the butterflies in the basement. Then some cake with the kangaroo in the kitchen. He's a small kangaroo, so we didn't have to do any renovation.
I love that a Chinese satellite may have picked up signals from an
alien civilization. Nobody seems to know what's flying around in our skies and the planet, but it might be easier to start looking there.
It's the multi-ton elephant in the room.
Deja Vu All Over Again
In the beginning, 'computers' were dumb terminals, huge and loud, attached to printers and hooked to a mainframe computer via a modem. The mainframe was where all the computing was done, up til the first personal computers showed up. Now we have THE CLOUD, where everything is processed on someone else's computer. This is a large circle that has come back to its start.
- A new type of battery under development is the silicon-anode, which can recharge in less than ten minutes.
- it will not hit the market until they figure out how to make it spontaneously combust.
Twenty-five people have been treated for burns in northern Switzerland after they walked across hot coals as part of a team-building exercise.
Who saw this coming?
Actually it was a great team-building exercise: they all went to the hospital together. Perhaps the organizers will get to stand in the unemployment line together too.
Seriously, how 'unconventional' do you have to be to set something like this up for team-building? Was Mt. Everest closed? Old Faithful off-schedule? No volcanoes available?
Asked for a comment, the company said, "We meant to say SNOW, not hot coals. We apologize for any inconvenience."
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