Johnny, Don't Stack the Bodies in the Garage, Please

 

Your love is like  antidepressants that make your penis useless

Major tampon makers pledge to tackle US shortages

This is where people can borrow some of the rhetoric of the anti-gunners: There will be blood in the streets! 

Today I identify as  a guy who gets all sorts of wild, kinky sex

Way to go, Supreme Court - you've gone backwards. Women are no longer sovereign over their own bodies.  Flushing America down the toilet, one freedom at a time.

Green Day 'singer' Billie Joe Armstrong is renouncing his US citizenship. While this could be a good things for people who like music, it will no doubt wind up like the people moving to Canada if Trump won. Zero went.

• NOTICE: you cannot purchase a lawnmower cover if you want one from any place that might rhyme with Bone Depot. It has nothing to do with supply chain issues; they just don't carry them.
• In related news, going from a 13" to a 17" blade makes the dreaded mowing time shorter for me. Ladies, you're right - size does matter.

I woke up next to a naked lady. 

Looking everything over, she seemed largely to be my wife. This is good, especially given Wife's strict No Dating policy. 

Being a male of the species, my eye went right to a mammalian protuberance. I studied it in depth. I didn't have a lot of depth perception, as I was only using one eye. The other eye was in the pillow, still asleep. This is the closest I get to multitasking. Giving it some thought, worshiping is not the same as studying, so I spent some quality time with it (the closer one, obviously). It was absolutely fascinating, the way each part came together to make the whole. I am obviously going to have to spend more time clinically and artistically appreciating the fun bags. 

• It's not that I sit around a lot, but we had to get rid of the motion sensors on the lights; they kept turning off while I sat.

Amazon fears it could run out of US warehouse workers by 2024

Here's a fun story: if you think about it, this means people are smarter than they were before the Flying AIDS. There are no more people stupid enough to work for Amazon.

Amazon shows off robot warehouse workers that won't complain, quit, unionize...

BUT, here we have two headlines, a day apart, about Amazon. Amazon is nowhere near as evil as Microsoft, unless you have to work for them. Last year I said that as soon as Amazon got robots, workers had better have their resumes current and out. This also signals greater health in the population, as warehouses will no longer be falling on workers. It also saves billions in insurance and payouts, because robots don't sue (for now). Like with the automation of McDonald's, the only trick will be programming the robots to screw up your order. Maybe they can use AI.

Factoid: the average Amazon worker lasts 8 months, a wacky amount under the average worker anywhere else. 

 

YouTube Runs Ad Offering American Men a Ukrainian Woman

You gotta love this. YouTube, one of the Great Censors of the net, ran an ad pushing Ukranian brides. Apparently one of the attractions is that American men are more ambitious and socially and financially responsible. That says a lot about Ukranian men. English is also spoken.

One doesn't have to watch too much pr0n to know some Eastern European women are gorgeous.  Just think about it.... socially responsible would be hosting a gorgeous woman while her country is being invaded.  Married men should proceed slowly.

Biden sends every signal that he is running again.

He wants to be just like Obama, so the Secret Service runs with him every morning.

Whose brilliant idea was this? The democratic slogan was "this is the best we got" and they're going to run this disaster again? The man is cognitively-impaired, as well as spending-forward.

New monkeypox advice is to have sex with your clothes on and masturbate six feet apart

Unable to give clueless advice on the Flying AIDS anymore, the CDC is onto its next pandemic; Monkeypox. Perhaps they can explain how to have penetrative sex six feet apart.

 

‘I literally lost organs:’ Why detransitioned teens regret changing genders

Just when you were getting used to adding 'transitioned' to your vocabulary, it's time to add 'detransitioned.' These are the unfortunate people who are changing back to their original gender. I have no trouble with anybody doing what they want with their body, but I feel sorry for people with the notion they're in the wrong body, or OOPS, I shouldn't have transitioned.

My understanding was that the transitioning person is given a battery of psychological tests to determine they're healthy and the decision is not coming from some other disorder. In Multiple Personality Disorder, one of the personalities can 'hijack' the body and do things to it. This is checked for. Or maybe not. The article states that the kids were ignored until they found unconditional support on the net. This is so dangerous. Again we have poor parenting and no self-esteem.

Lastly, at what age should kids be allowed to make this decision?

US Senate passes first gun control bill in decades

Yet more unconstitutional law - more abridgment of your rights. Let your senator know.

 

I had many years of Customer Weirdness, in which things went well, so long as I never left the house. If I went to a restaurant, from fast food up, the order would get messed up, if it even arrived. While waiting to be seated, a relative asked me to stand away from the family so they'd get seated. At that restaurant, food arrived for everyone, except me. The waitress stood there, looking confused, "Oh, did you order something?" 

While it was difficult to figure out what would come on top of my burger, you could rest assured it would contain whatever I said it shouldn't. I do not eat mayonnaise or tomatoes on burgers, so they would always be there. How was I supposed to know you had to order them without mayo or tomatoes. And when I figured this out, the burger would still have mayo and tomatoes on it. Tomatoes are easy to remove... just take a bite and they will go rocketing out the other end. Mayo not so much. I guess this was because no one eats mayo on meat where I grew up (Mars).

I went for a while where this stopped happening. Cynics will say it was because I was stuck in the house for two years. It was a great time because I always got exactly what I ordered or what I wanted was in stock.

Unfortunately Customer Weirdness is back.

Just this morning I asked for our favorite frozen treat at Dunkin. What arrived was frozen coffee with insufficient cream and no sugar. It wasn't what we've been getting for the last ten years. My English hasn't changed. The menu hasn't changed.

I once went to a guitar show and couldn't get one of the vendors to wait on me. I stood there and waved a bunch of cash, hoping someone would help. Nope. I'm reasonably certain I'm not invisible, although perhaps I don't know when it happens.

Yesterday we were at a store, checking out. There were exactly two checkout lanes, human-occupied, and a boatload of self checkouts. Since there were already 47 people in the human-occupied line, we sadly used a self checkout. And the first item stopped the entire process, calling for help. Manglement lets us know that they're not using plastic bags, they're using paper, which they switched to plastic years back. In any case, they were charging us for the paper bags. I smiled my best killer sarcasm smile while I told her how happy that made us. Then I told her we must have missed the large sign telling us we had to pay for them. Naturally there was no sign. Then she yells across the store that we have to re-scan the item that caused the problem. Oh, we should have known that too. I guess supply chain issues hurt their brains somehow.

T-Mobile has started selling your app data to advertisers

It was inevitable. You are merely a product, whether you're paying for the service or not.

Don't tell Elon, cuz he's gonna get jealous.

Toyota and Subaru are recalling EVs because the tires might literally fall off.

"Sharp turns and sudden braking" might cause this, so in the meantime, drive your vehicle very slowly to the dealership. Or have it towed and send your dealer the bill. Better yet, drive like a loon, because we like to see the world burn!

Monkeypox is not a global health emergency for now, WHO says

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY... the CDC fights the WHO in a no holds barred grudge match, over whether Monkeypox is a pandemic or not. If not, when can it BE a pandemic. Special guest referree: Lord Fauci

Joe Walsh  -  BAND PLAYED ON

[Analog Man - buy it]

Look out my window see a world that's on fire
Some people think that we should just let it burn
With all this ignorance the flames just get higher... Higher

All of these people with their misinformation
Must be the truth if it's a blog on the screen...
We got to buy it it's the latest creation

Too many icebergs out on the ocean
Too many chances to sink like a stone
The great titanic about to go under
And the band played on

Guess everybody needs a new pair of glasses
A lot of shit out there nobody can see
Yeah everybody's got their heads up their asses

We're all out here dead in the water
We got a leak in the boat
We're up shit creek without a paddle
Just trying to stay afloat

Joe did his best to send all his brain cells elsewhere, yet many remain.

He makes a good point.