Swedish Meatballs Are Made with Octopus

Your love is like   an IRS audit

We escaped the house over the weekend and found ourselves in a very large Swedish home furnishings store, that has an actual cafeteria with Swedish meatballs. At least it had Mt Dew too, although we didn't go near the meatballs. My back was giving me grief, so I brought ibuprofen, then realized I didn't bring anything to drink. VOILA - 2 water fountains. I popped the ibu in my mouth and went for water. Annnnd the water fountain didn't work. Either of them. Have you ever tried to swallow pills without water? It's similar to swallowing cotton balls (don't ask). Mrs. lefty said they're probably shut off because of Flying AIDS. I don't care - put a damn sign on them - don't leave them sitting there where people are bound to try to use them. I found a bathroom, praying I could use its sink, provided it worked. Annnnd it was occupied, so in effect, it didn't work. At least I scared the crap out of the person in the bathroom.

This place, whose name rhymes with Ikea, and is famous for furniture you cannot assemble, in fact - NASA couldn't put this stuff together. Fortunately we avoided the furniture. We went through two floors, looking for one item, which of course they didn't have. I don't know what the designers of the place were on when they designed it, but everything was conveniently arranged so it was on the other floor at the other side of the store. How do they do this? Somehow we wound up with bags of stuff. I told Wife that there was a weight limit moreso than a spending limit - the bags started to get heavy and we didn't have a cart because we weren't buying anything (famous last words). 

It was an extremely annoying trip, even though we used to like it. Of course that wasn't the end... they had self-checkout lanes. In fact, every lane was a self-checkout lane. This goes in the rather large category of Things That Piss Me Off. It is quite possible to hire cashiers, like the ones that were there last time. I wonder who would have been hurt if they retained cashiers. I don't hate self-checkouts randomly - they just never work right. I also don't like the monitoring, but at least it's not facial recognition. The person with the most patience in the world was the poor guy who had to keep resetting the machine after it locked up or the poor customer pressed the wrong button. He got hazard pay. We'd scan an item and find it was the wrong price; there was no way to correct this, so we started again. BLEEP -  manager will help you. So we're standing there with a BLEEPING machine, awaiting the arrival of the Swedish police, when Hazard Pay kindly helped us. Mr Pay is probably still laughing or cursing at us. I was cursing at the machine regularly, and I'm not pleasant on a good day, even with pharmaceuticals. Even wife, whose job it is to try to calm me down or just duck and run, was cursing the machine and the entire trip. A day later she was still cursing it.

 

There is an actual book called 'How to poo on a date.'

 Don't.

US may pay 3x more than EU for Moderna’s US-funded COVID shot

 $1.7 billion we gave Moderna.

Food Delivery Robots Are Feeding Camera Footage to the LAPD, Internal Emails Show

of course they are...

•  Life sure is interesting. I've long wanted a considerably less interesting life. One without constant shit involving health and huge amounts of money to fix things.

Hyundai recalls 1.6 million gas-powered cars due to potential car fires

I won't mention Tesla, but combine this with the Hyundai/Kia security shortages and we might just have something... if someone tries to steal the car, it will burst into flames. What other car manufacturer can offer that kind of security? I still haven't mentioned Tesla.

Here’s what the latest Mars rover has learned so far

1. sadly, there is no Marvin the Martian
2. the next rover will be the best rover. Its finding will be 42
3. Marvin might just be hiding
4. there are a LOT of rocks and nobody ever sweeps the dust
5. the Martians enjoy playing pranks on the rover, like writing WASH ME on its surface
6. Martians have frightfully large penises for their size (this is a lie, used to recruit more female astronauts)
7. always end with a dick joke

Social media restrictions “profoundly damaging,” Biden admin tells SCOTUS

Look - how can we BS the people if we can't go full throttle on social media? This is what Obama fought so valiantly for.

Asked for comment, Biden said, "Pop Tarts!" 

Can we talk about naked or semi-naked women? Of course we can.

Let's separate the nakedness and salacious nature of this and just appreciate the wonder of sites like Onlyfans, where women (and men, I guess) can have their own place to earn money (a living?). The US has turned into a service economy and this is certainly a service. They could be giving guitar lessons, but they're a service and a desirable one. I'm not buying but I appreciate what they're doing.

Hey, now that I think about it.... naked guitar lessons! This way the spouse can't complain.

Drone captures flock of sheep crossing US highway

Sheep were promptly individually ticketed by Philly police, some developed black eyes. Sheep cautioned to only cross at Sheep Crossing signs. Dog was not ticketed or harmed.