You Have the Right to Remain Silent: Use it

Your love is like   Crunchy Frog

NASA spacecraft returns to Earth with pieces of an asteroid

We have millions of tons of perfectly good rock here, yet NASA spends millions 

and 7 years (3 litres Canadian) to get 8 ounces (5 kilometers Canadian) from some random asteroid passing by. I hope it doesn't have cooties.

 Rare 'Dumbo' octopus filmed on deep sea live stream

The octopus, with large ears, has been named the King Charles Puss.

Florida police stop 10-year-old driver on highway

Because Florida. And because Mom confiscated their handheld electronics. They got pulled over, 200 miles from home, because he used his turn signals.

What's the only thing worse than your morning alarm going off?

The neighbor's truck waking you up, 2 minutes before the alarm goes off.

Picasso’s twisted beauty – and the ‘trail of female carnage’ he left behind

 Because he liked the ladies, certain people want to 'cancel' him.

This is bloody Picasso, not some idiot who said something 'wrong' on tv. I hear he was a pretty good painter, although I certainly don't see it. Digging deeper into history, we could find other things...

• Beethoven was a racist
• Henry Ford was antisemitic (true)
• Caesar liked animals, a bit too much
• Alexander Graham Bell wouldn't take calls from women
• Copernicus hurt his neck and couldn't look up
• da Vinci was left handed out of spite
• Woody Allen... well.... 

So be careful who you cancel.

CBP Tells Airports Its New Facial Recognition Target is 75% of Passengers Leaving the US 

And 100% in the US. Don't forget to get your Real ID card.

I don't know about you, but my Dr. Pepper is missing. It was right there, behind the Coke, which obscured it. It was there yesterday; it is not today. I am alone in the house, as Wife and Dog are out visiting for a few days.

There are only a few logical explanations: 

1. I keep missing it (as a man, I can't find my hand in front of my face)
2. Wife (and Dog) come home from visiting just to drink my soda and mess with me (the only problem being I haven't left the house for them to get back in)
3. I have developed a particularly nasty psychological disorder that precludes me from remembering I drank it already (or threw it out - we're being logical here)
4. Hillary and Cheney were eating babies and needed something to wash them down with
5. aliens

 I will let you know if/when I figure this out.

• Ya know, it's been a while since a Tesla spontaneously burst into flames, or since we heard about one. Maybe Musk is ordering the press not to print anything negative, like Biden....

US actors' union members vote to authorize video game strike

This is part of an insidious plan. First the actors, then the video games. Pretty soon, all of California will be on strike. Outside of California, no one will notice any difference.

My mother used to pronounce it Califawnia. Guess I won't hear that again.

It's weird being an 'orphan.' Obviously I stopped relying on my parents a long time ago, but now I realize I can't. It's academic, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. This is the natural order of things, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Today's best headline: Chess grandmaster Hans Niemann denies using vibrating sex toy to cheat

Today's worst headline: Adam Britton: British croc expert admits sexually abusing dogs. 

WTF is wrong with these people?