Your love is like a vat of expired stewed prunes
I have no idea why this came to mind, perhaps in a nightmare, but as a musical comedian, I played a lot of places, from wild to frightening. Mostly frightening. One night we were in a questionable area, near the famous Tower Theater. We took our gear down a few steps and thought nothing of it. The place turned out to be really large, like a huge almost underground bar.
I saw an uninspiring (to be polite), overweight, scantily-clad lady walk by, and said to my cohorts, "Oh here come the strippers." Moments later, she was (sort-of) writing around a pole we never saw, behind the bar. Oh shit - I was right. Strippers. Overweight strippers. Scantily-clad overweight strippers. Oh my. It is said that there is no bad pizza or sex. There are, however, bad strippers. The phrase "Any stripper is a good stripper" never left anyone's mouth, along with "Sbarro - now that's real pizza."
This was our first encounter with strippers. If you asked me before I left for the gig, I'd tell you it would be the coolest gig ever.... strippers! Unfortunately (or fortunately), I had never spent a lot of time among strippers, so I had a certain image in mind. An image that was torpedoed by real-life images... images that I will never get out of my head. Images that will forever leap out whenever anybody says 'strippers,' even if we're talking really hot strippers.
The second stripper was roughly equal to the first, except (thankfully) she had less apparent body area and it was better covered. After my misplaced enthusiasm for strippers, it occurred to me that we were performing after strippers. Ugly strippers. This is not an area conducive to comedy, except unintentional comedy, like this blog. Our career, such as it was, was down the toity. Fortunately there was no toity involved onstage, although we kept looking around for the sudden appearance of one.
After the gig, we packed up and went home, where we belonged, if there were strippers involved.
Albert Einstein said insanity was performing the same act over and over and expecting different results, like voting for democrats (or republicans) over and over. So years later, we were booked across the street from a bowling alley, where they had strippers. This was an official stripper joint, which gave me cold sweats when I realized the basement bar we played in was also an official stripper joint. Fortunately strip joints had evolved to an actual circuit, with really gorgeous women, who kept in shape. There was not an ugly one in the bunch. Some had even starred in actual movies. But it was still a strip joint. So we got to enjoy the sights and the girls were all very nice to us (not that nice, unfortunately). It was in the early days of video cameras, so we had one along to 'document' the gig. I got a bunch of the girls to sit around me and one to sit in my lap and fawn all over me. Who knew that my then girlfriend would react so negatively to the one girl on my lap, threatening to steal me away.
One look at the video should dispel any thoughts that this was a real situation. You have a bunch of really attractive, fit women, and me. Unless I had millions of dollars or could lick my eyebrows, this simply wouldn't happen. Ever. Some girlfriends have no sense of humor.
We did play some nice places, like Princeton and the Howard Stern show, but not as often as we'd have liked. My 'show-biz career' explains why I'm in computer security.
Alcohol doesn't cause attraction; it inhibits unattractiveness.
post-traumatic stress disorder, associated psychotic features and a delusional disorder - I didn't know Bush had degenerated to this state. Cheney's dead, so I guess Bush is the next obvious perp.
Google accused of directing motorist to drive off collapsed bridge
At some point, everyone has to take responsibility - except in the legal system.
I remember my battle with Google; all 3 sets of Google directions led me into water. I just figured it was personal and went my own way.
Governmental entities that live in self-constructed glass houses should not throw surface to air missiles.
Only 50%?
Ask questions, do research, make your own decisions.
Everyone should get a COVID booster this fall, CDC says
Quite frankly, we're shocked - America
What a shitty job. (sorry not sorry)
Your local water authority will soon install a shit-o-meter in your house, just to detect diseases - they swear. No other reason. Nothing to see here. It will sit right next to the 'smart' electric meter.
Judge in US v. Google trial didn’t know if Firefox is a browser or search engine
...leading any reasonable person to ask how a fair verdict could be reached
It's 2023, people - there is no longer an excuse for this kind of ignorance.
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