Don't Put Your Dirty Dishes in my Clean Sink

Your love is like  an attack of the hare krishnas

• President Giveaway was rushed offstage today when he mistook his wife for a doorknob. 

Order limiting Biden admin contacts with social networks is mostly overturned

So the president got caught messing with public perception by colluding with social media. The order telling him to stop was narrowed significantly.

The Biden administration approves $100 million to fix the nation’s broken EV chargers

President Giveaway steps in and pays again, because no business should have to pay for things.

 

• JOHNNY - leave your little girlfriend's penis alone.

It's getting to election time. I can tell by the democrats texting me, addressing me as Rakeisha. I may be tired today, but I am 99% certain I am not Rakeisha, nor was I ever. Considering I've had my number for a long time, their lists are way out of date. Politicians have exempted themselves from spam legislation, so you're stuck with the miscreants contacting you by text, email, and phone. To make matters worse, each one of these fanatical groups are different and you can only get yourself removed from that group - not the national list. Because of their malfeasance, I have to spend my time removing myself from each group, as do you. This applies equally to the republicans. Tell them how you feel.... If you're really bored, tell them to vote libertarian (I do) or that you're a satanist demanding equal protection under the First Amendment and what can they do for you (republicans hate this). Better yet, you want to buy a lot of guns because it's your Second Amendment right - that should cause a few heart attacks on the democrat side of the robodialer.

Just for fun, my laptop is acting up again. This time it's the power jack. What is it they say about women who have sex a lot - a Volkswagen is a 4 car garage? The power plugs just fall out, hence the battery doesn't charge, hence the laptop doesn't operate. I haven't put in a trouble ticket yet, because I know it's going to hurt.

Democratic New Mexico Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham said she would welcome a fight after announcing an emergency order to suspend the right to carry firearms in most public places around Albuquerque. That’s exactly what she’s getting.

How did this Constitutional scholar get in office?  Oh yeah, she was voted in. #Impeach 

The sheriff has vowed not to enforce the law.

Man Pleads To AK-47 Threat Over Pizza Pie

 I'm not for shooting innocent people, but someone has to motivate fast food workers to become accurate.

Those of us who own pets and are apparently bored or spending large amounts of money on other things, do not want to wake up and find blood stains on their sheets, especially from the dog. WHOOSH, off to the vet, where blood from the mouth joins blood from the rear. WHOOSH, off to Doggie Hospital. Dog not happy. I have yet to see her so nervous.

Doggie Hospital had to run 'a few tests.' I was skeptical when they asked how much we had in the bank. I was sick when they told me 'a few tests' would run double the bank balance. Then they admitted her to the hospital. The obvious question was how much money could we get our hands on in 24 hours? They like to have 83% up front. Considering the hospital stay just started, only Congressional Math could come up with a total. I call it The Debt.

Medically, the dog has idiopathic thrombocytopenia. Most laypersons do not understand diagnoses, human or otherwise, so I want to impart some knowledge. The more syllables and the less understandable the syllables are, the more it's going to cost. This covers anything medical.

• idiopathic: you're an idiot unless you know we made it up
• thrombocytopenia: the (female) dog has a penis

In somewhat related news, I'm told she has no platelets. As we all know, platelets are small plates. They're so cute when they're little. If we choose to accept on faith that she had platelets to begin with, who stole them? I hear ticks can do this, but I see no way a tiny little insect can carry off an entire dog worth of platelets. Apparently the little bastard got all of them too - the vet was concerned and tried giving her some other platelets, but couldn't tell me whose they were. Medicine does not only comprise guts and stuff.... sometimes it's platelets. Sometimes it's digital watches and aardvarks. Sometimes it's even ground up mothers-in-law. They're much more popular when ground up, and not just for medicinal purposes.

There will be more tests, of course, because idiopathic thrombocytopenia cannot be cured with some doggie drugs and an expensive hospital stay. We'll keep you apprised as things happen. It's way too quiet in the house, and I can't locate Wife because there's no one following her around like a shadow. I really miss her. The dog, I mean.

• There are no new batteries in the house for my wireless mouse.
• I received paperwork from the IRS.
• I dare not ask what else, for fear of the answer.

Scientists trace tiny moonquakes to Apollo 17 lander – left over from 1972

This is why the aliens don't want us in their neighborhoods. We bomb anything that moves and don't clean up after ourselves.