23andMe asked the FBI why they would hack 23, when 23 gave them everything they asked for, without even a warrant.
Microsoft Teams is competing by adding bigger boobs and plastic surgery for video calls.
Gwyneth Paltrow says nepo baby label is an 'ugly moniker'
The woman who gave us vagina-scented candles (her scent?) and won a suit against an old guy she ran over on the slopes, has returned to complain about another hastily made-up term.
Given my policy about fairness, I will readily admit she's a very pretty woman, even at her age, and without any visible evidence of lips. Also to be fair, Hillary Clinton eats babies, but Gwyneth only harvests them and runs them in an intravenous solution (not as crunchy this way).
But all of us need to be fair here, and consider Gywmeth's burden (soon to be made into a movie, called Gwyneth's Burden). Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be Gwyneth? Never mind the billions of people who want to be her or the thousands of people who regularly break into her house to marry her and live happily ever after, with 2.5 children and a dog. And Jodie Foster. Gwyneth is what is medically referred to as Offended in Perpetuity; meaning she is always offended about something or other. It could be major or minor, but when she becomes offended, it becomes major, especially to her 14 trillion followers on X. I'll tell you a secret: Gwyneth is only on X because she's secretly in love with its owner, Elon Musk. Elon has no idea, which is a phrase often used in describing him.
Please take a moment to consider her plight. You can't always simply wake up Offended, unless you're Greta Thunberg, who's about to be jailed for life under the 27 Strikes program. Gwyneth has to get up, first thing in the morning, and check her RSS news feeds, of which there are 776. One needs a lot of input to discover all the possibilities of things to be Offended by. It doesn't happen all by itself, although her people are working on an AI solution. You have to have an AI solution for everything, or nobody takes you seriously.
So next time you find yourself blowing off the rich and entitled, first walk a mile in their Jimmy Choos.
Most of us in Corporate USA are besieged with meetings. Morning meetings, wrapup meetings, meetings to go over what we went over in the last meeting; it is truly the 7th level of hell. Imagine my shock when I found out Microsoft's new AI assistant can go to meetings for you! Do you have any idea the time you'd save if you didn't have to go to meetings. Let's face it - apes with crayons could take our places in meetings and draw up the important parts of the meeting in under 4 seconds. The only problem with this solution is that you'd be left with lots of free time. If the people who run the meetings find out you have free time, there will be meetings about what to do with your free time. Even Satan himself doesn't do meetings. With all this new free time, you'd probably be expected to produce something (other than web surfing logs to .xxx domains).
Philthydelphia really jumps on it. The problem was differentiating a breach from 'normal' corruption.
Anyone who reads this blog, as well as many people in padded rooms, know that my house is either haunted or infested with aliens. Of course it's probably better to be infested with aliens than infested with the likes of us, but who's counting. The latest area with paranormal activity in the bathroom. Most 'normal' people have semi-clean bathrooms that function strictly as bathrooms. Not me, of course. Even if we ignore the Tartar Sauce Incident, this month's malady is one of slightly larger proportions. It encompasses actual use/flow/tai-chi/fungu of said room. As I said, you all probably have regular old bathrooms, except for the one dear genius friend with the bidet. But even with a bidet, that bathroom is perfectly functional.. not so with mine. You see, there is always something strategically blocking some important function from functioning. Most times it's the sink; if it's clean in the morning, by the afternoon, there's a large shipping box and some false teeth sitting there, so I can't wash my hands. This is rather a problem, given the other function of the bathroom.
Yesterday morning I found several 4' (357 litres Canadian) stuffed animals in the sink. The doctors tell me to wait a moment, breathe deeply, then take the sledgehammer in front of the toilet and hit myself with it, vigorously. But the aliens were way ahead of me; the sledgehammer was missing. Who doesn't have a 30lb (38 kilometres Canadian) sledge in front of their toilet? I was feeling mighty inadequate at that moment. Guys - I'm sure you can understand my shame. That afternoon I walked into the bathroom and there was not a single item in the sink - not even a small foreign car! I made sure to thank the aliens out loud, for keeping the sink clean so I could.... get this... wash my hands in it. Then I went to the toilet and once again, there was no sledgehammer. It had been replaced by a wheelie fridge carrier, which took up all the space between the toilet and the counter. As if that weren't enough, there was a huge L-shaped box that sat on the carrier and made a left turn to cover the entire toilet. SO yes, I could wash my hands, but I couldn't get them dirty first. And who among us doesn't have a wheelie dolly fridge carrier in their bathroom and 40 assorted kinds of poisonous plants in the sink? It's almost as if the bathroom is in denial.... it always wanted to be a storage room or workshop. In fact, it now identifies as a storage room, and the Housing Authority says we must recognize its wishes and treat it as a storage room. So now I piss in corner of the storage room.
Look at how that worked out for the Titan..
Today's best headline, soon to be made into this year's Disney hit family movie!
Stench leads officials to 189 rotting corpses at taxidermist’s funeral home
Let's suspend disbelief for a moment, and say it is normal to keep 189 corpses around the house. What kind of thought process does not provide for refrigeration? And no, burning the place down does not count as cremation.
She referred to a waitress as 'enormous.' BFD. These are the same SJWs who get outraged when you describe someone having black skin as 'black.'
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