The Naked Elephant Follows the Flightless Nissan

Your love is like  securing your teeth to your gums with rusty nails

Space Force Chronicles

US Space Force creates 1st unit dedicated to targeting adversary satellites

busy little bees, no?

Space Force chief says commercial satellites may need defending

of course they will. Cue President Giveaway's next horrendous military appropriation.

US exploring potential space force hotline with China

Hey, didn't we have a nuclear hotline with Russia a long time ago?

What have we learned? Nothing. And beware the military-industrial complex.

 

Sex can help protect against dementia – here’s how much you’ll need to have

So get in there and do your part to fight dementia - it's for you both

Air Canada discloses data breach of employee and 'certain records'

Certain records were involved, by certain employees, during certain breaches of a certain airline. Certain employees were caught with certain substances, but we assure you that the substances had no bearing on certain records being accessed within a certain airline. As a certain country is known for its friendliness (eh?), a certain airline has issued a certain apology and promises it certainly won't happen again (until a certain next time).

 Russia seeks to rejoin UN's human rights council

Along with the Taleban and Taylor Swift.  Which is most harmful?

 

Over 340 first responders have died from 9/11 illnesses

The New York City Fire Department said 11,000 first responders suffer from 11 September-related diseases, including 3,500 with cancer. 

Christie Whitman (EPA) walked right alongside George Bush and proclaimed the air safe to breathe. They should be held responsible, not to mention Cheney et al.

  

Einstein right again: Antimatter falls “down” due to gravity like ordinary matter

Of course it does. In matters like this, it's always safe to assume Albert was right. He said antimatter falls, being acted upon by gravity, like everything else in the universe. Let's say, for the sake of argument, and because I like to argue, that antimatter fell up? Seriously, you don't want that shit. The entire universe would be all kinds of fscked up, not knowing whether to fall down or up. Let's face it - antimatter is the opposite of matter, so it would make sense that it fell up, but noooooo, this singular property of antimatter decided to behave, in this case, like its polar opposite. The whole world is topsy-turvy. Antimatter wasn't even a concept until very recently. And gravity is a big bully.

 Do you have any idea what would have happened to Star Trek if antimatter fell up? Neither do I, but Kirk would have dealt with it using his trademark calm, rational self, and speaking in that almost stuttering cadence, that used to drive alien chicks wild. The Captain must've had something else going on in the lower half of his uniform that they couldn't show on tv in 1969, because all of those blue and green chicks wanted to have his children, or die trying. And where did they get the damn antimatter? Did Musk had antimatter stations all over the cosmos? How long did it take to charge the Enterprise? How far could it go between charges? Were Spock's ears that way because he tried to mess with antimatter that one time, after he fell in love? Why were Kirk and Spock Jewish? Even worse, why is Shatner Canadian? Are Canadians affected by gravity like antimatter? How do you get them into the antimatter engines? How many of them fit in one antimatter engine? Is antimatter the reason Shatner is such a lovable, doddering old fool these days, who does insurance commercials? When he dies and is sent into space, will his capsule fall, like antimatter? I'll bet Einstein never theorized that.

In depression treatment trials, placebo effect is growing stronger

 That's because placebo isn't an effect, it's your mind doing the work to heal your body. But WTF do I know...

 

Drive-through worker draws gun on 'missing curly fries' customer

It's supposed to be the other way around, dammit. But now you have another great reason not to go there (besides the food).

What's worse that a fast food employee with a gun?

Huge boa constrictor found stuck under car bonnet

there is a long tradition of finding things in your car...

• wombat in your glove compartment
• gazelle in your carburetor
• giraffe in your back seat
• tarantula on your steering wheel
• skunk - anywhere in or near your car

Biden dog Commander bites another Secret Service agent

If you remember, the last dog, Major, also bit Secret Service agents.

The explanation is hysterical: it's a stressful environment and the dog picks up on that.

Errr... Obama's dog didn't bite anybody.

Maybe the dog's cognitively impaired, like its owner....