Your love is like snot that you can't get out of your nose, no matter how you try
The federal government and police are finding new ways to use drones to invade privacy.
- Hundreds of Israelis have stripped naked by the Dead Sea in Israel to draw attention to its dramatically receding shoreline.
- This is the type of environmentalism we fully support.
Today I identify as Journey
Mother, 38, is arrested in front of her children and locked in a cell for seven HOURS after calling a transgender woman a man on Twitter
Across the U.S., clashes intensify between city officials and the police over vaccination issues
The Anti-Vax Movement Can't Wait for Kyrie Irving to Be Its Idol
- Russia and China left out of global anti-ransomware meetings
- It's like trying to figure out who's eating chickens and not looking at foxes
The Further Adventures of My Mouth
Back for my next dentist visit, I found myself feeling less like I was walking into the electric chair. My food stayed down and I could still think about sex, so I knew things were improving. Since I stopped worrying about them killing me, I had a chance to look around a bit. Their staff consists of young, petite, skinny ladies in their twenties, mostly blonde. This is JACKPOT for a lot of guys. I wondered if there was a hiring specification or all their hires look that way by accident. As nice as that would be, that's discrimination, so it must all be coincidence.
They were all happy. Very happy. Alarmingly happy, having just come in off the field in their cheerleading uniforms. Since the p.a. system was broken, they all got used to YELLING instead of speaking.
HI, LEFTY! HOW ARE YOU? THE DOCTOR WILL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. DID YOU GET YOUR SYPHILIS CLEARED UP?
It was outrageous and embarrassing. To think that I'd believe the doctor would be right with me.
In addition to their matching uniforms and personalities, each one got their own little positive exclamation.
The xrays are done? Super.
Are you doing ok? Awesome.
You didn't get yourself caught in your zipper again, did you? Excellent.
You can't afford the copay? Good deal.
They were required to use their positive exclamation after every sentence. This way if you couldn't remember their name, you could refer to them as Super, Awesome, Excellent, or Good Deal. "Did Awesome do your least cleaning? Good deal."
I guess you could say they were the Stepford techs, but it's not really true - they had different shades of blonde hair. I was thinking to myself that they were too young and didn't really strike my fancy, when I met the reject.. the single brunette. I was smitten. She was like the rest, but I could detect sarcasm that wasn't present in the blondes. That's another quality that excites me in a woman. Hell, if I couldn't say anything sarcastic, I couldn't speak. Unfortunately, unlike other practices, the uniforms came up to their necks tightly, so I couldn't look down. I got over it during the panic. One had blonde hair and brown eyebrows. For some reason, that looked pretty cool. I also spotted a lone male. He must be really popular.
They did a good job this time, so fewer parts of my body kept trying to escape from the chair as they worked. I didn't ask for Happy Gas, so I remained present during the entire operation, so to speak. I know my insurance wouldn't cover it, but they could have offered me some... ahhhhh.... relief... before the procedure, to keep me calm. I'd have paid out of pocket for it.
Last time I donated teeth, so this time they went about getting me new ones. You'd be amazed at all the technology they have now. There's a scanner they wand over your teeth and it puts together an internal view of your mouth. There was another little buzzing device, but they told me I couldn't use it. Since my tooth donation, the gum has been understandably sore. This explains the extra pressure needed to make the mold thingie for that tooth. It wouldn't stay put at first, so she banged on it, harder and harder. My entire body kept heading in the other direction, when I explained to her it was sore. Then she finished the explanation. Well if she knew it was so sore, why did she use a pneumatic hammer to get it to stay?
They pulled out the samples and asked me which color I wanted for my replacements. C'mon, how many male patients does this practice see? I just looked at them with the 'You gotta be kidding me' look and suggested they use their best judgment. There were two women there - they stood a 127% chance of matching it perfectly. If I had to do it, I'd have wound up with dark blue. Seriously, when they take their husbands clothes shopping, who picks the colors (and the clothes)? Hint: not the husbands. I'm secure enough admitting this, so the choosing went by quickly.
So next time, they're going to install some custom geo-spatial cable bridge between two teeth. They won't tell me which two, because I don't have a need to know. Oddly, I do have a need to know how much copay it will cost me, and they remind me of it before, during, and after the appointment, via text, email, and coming by the house. I'd offer them tea, but the house is a mess and we're not scheduled to clean it again until 2025.
I went with the bridge, but there were other options. One was a plate, which would require remembering to put it in (so that was out). Another involved some sort of screwjack boring into my jaw. At least I think it was my jaw. I wouldn't ask anyone else. Yet another involved Super Glue. Kids, let's face it - nothing good ever comes of Super Glue. You glue your hands to a table, glue your lips shut, or glue your penis to your nipple, so it's best to avoid it. I'd only wind up with a new tooth on my forehead.... it's just not worth having to explain it to everyone I meet. "Know how there's a third eye? I have a thirty third tooth."
This leaves the hole vacated by my other donated tooth. I suspect they're forgetting about it on purpose, so later on I'll ask about it and it will cost more to fix. They told me I have a cavity in my wisdom tooth, way in the back. They like to remove them, but it's pretty traumatic over a certain age, and it ain't broke, so don't fix it. I figure I don't need the cavity filled because I don't even get to use the bloody tooth in the first place. It just sits there, under the gum line, peeping out now and then. For some reason, the doctor told me I was wrong here. Little did he know the worst thing you can do is tell me I'm wrong. I'll reach in and extract my own damn wisdom tooth, just to prove him wrong.
So the long and short of it is that I no longer look like a crack addict. Well, my mouth no longer looks like the mouth of a crack addict. And all I had to do, besides showing up, is sign the second mortgage paperwork. I have really great insurance. And when I say great insurance, I mean great, huge copays. Have you noticed that politicians are going after health insurance, but nobody mentions dental insurance? My theory is that the dental industry has pictures of Congress, on a fact-finding junket to Mexico, at the donkey show.
- Pro Tip: when you come home from the store, put the ice cream in the freezer. The floor will not keep it cold.
Planes always ran on time. Big airlines upset.
After another hack on a water system, someone needs to start being concerned.
We have all sorts of utilities connected to the net, some with horrid security. This is an emergency waiting to happen. I'd hope somebody is looking at it. It also makes one wonder why utilities need to be connected.
Wifely Quantum Physics
Him: Hey, why did you turn off the fan?
Her: I'm cold.
Him: You didn't think anyone was using it, what with it being pointed directly at me?
Her: You're not cold?
Him: I feel warm. With that in mind, I turned the fan on.
[sound of car keys]
Him: Where ya goin?
Her: Have a few errands.
Him: Then may I put the fan back on, please?
Her: No, I'm cold.
Him: I see.
Her: Did you turn the tv off?
Him: Yes.
Her: Why?
Him: Strange you should ask. Were you not on the phone with your mother for two hours?
Her: She talks a lot.
Him: So it would have been difficult, even for you, to watch tv, while you were upstairs taking the call.
Her: Yeah, but I'm watching it.
Him: You certainly were watching it. I couldn't disagree with you there at all. But you haven't come within fifty feet of it in the last two hours.
Her: But I was watching it.
Him: If you can show me how you were watching it from a different room, I'll eat your shoes. The whole room full of them.
Her: Well, I was going to be watching it.
Him: Can I turn the fan on, while you're making calls upstairs?
Her: NO - I'm cold.
- 5GAA argues C-V2X technology as the way to secure transport at the ITS World Congress
- advocates cellular car-to-car communications - what could possibly go wrong?
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