Your love is like full body poison ivy
- Things a little boring around the house? Switch the KY with the Vapo Rub
Faceyspaces is talking about changing its name.
Because all of its evils will then be cured.
Don't sit there on your overbloated bum - make some suggestions. Help Lord Zuck!
- Snotbook
- AllYourInfo Book
- Anthrax Book
- You'llDoWhatYou'reTold Book
- IWipeWith$1,000Bills Book
- Zuckerburg's Famous Pig
- Your Life, Backed Up
- Covidbook
- Your Mother's Book
- Phlegm Book
Today I identify as your left nipple
Mrs. lefty fell over laughing at this page on revenge....
In 2012, Billy Gibbons was named the official guitarist of Texas. Shortly after, Texas Governor Ann Richards named a ZZ Top day. My state could never be that cool..
Flying AIDS news
Because too many voted for Biden, I have to get a Flying AIDS shot.
Because I have to get a Flying AIDS shot, I know it's going to be an adventure.
Because I called a huge chain that rhymes with Bosco, I called and they can't schedule me - I have to walk-in or go to bosco.com to schedule.
Because I went to bosco.com, there is not a place to schedule. I can get stuff for my dog, though, and check on food court hours. If I type in 'shot', I get a page full of 5 Hour Energy shots. If I type in 'covid shot,' it tells me they are not able to find a match. If I look in Home Health Care, I can get home Flying AIDS tests. For $118.99. I can become a member, become an employee, and apparently become out of my tiny little mind.
Because Bosco can't do what they said they can, I have to take my chances and walk into a store, hoping to get a one-year-old vaccine that hasn't had time to prove itself. If I die, I'm coming back to sue Biden.
Because there's yet another fsckup, the doctors told me to find something positive: I now have the number of the local Bosco saved as a contact in my phone.
I told you this was going to be an adventure.
Here’s what we know about booster shots for Moderna’s and J&J’s COVID-19 vaccines
Congressional staffers exempt from vaccine mandates
The Flying AIDS puts us in an historic time. Put aside your beliefs and take a look at what's happening. The moment the virus hit the fan, I started hearing there was something wrong, not from the usual suspects, but from friends and family who were normally good sheep. People who didn't think outside the box. People who never had anything bad to say about anybody, smelled something off kilter. This alone was amazing.
Now that the major vaccine mandates have hit the fan, people are leaving their jobs and being fired, some losing pensions. People feel very strongly, and this is the first time in memory they are making their feelings known. The public is losing police, airline employees, school system employees, health system employees, and other important jobs, in addition to jobs you never see. When was the last time you saw this kind of thinking and action?
- The ACLU says mandates promote freedom
- as do jails
According to a British cop tv show, which is somewhat older, their auto license plate readers can give a summary of where a car has been for two years. Combine that with their ubiquitous spy cameras and Big Brother is bloody Huge Brother. This is why we have to keep both out. And keep on the correct side of the road.
The further adventures of teeth
There are no further adventures of teeth this week.
Can't you just LEAVE ME ALONE?
Right after I typed that, the temps fell out. It was my fault: never even look at a bagel with a temp. If you're bored, try eating a bagel with your side teeth. If you're still bored, try lifting your car with a baked bean.
The Adventures of TV
Kodi is possibly the future of tv. Install and use the net for all your tv. It comes with a few channels installed, all perfectly legal. You can watch YouTube and pay services. You can also locate other channels, if you're even mildly clever. Everything installs as an add-on. It can run in its own set top box or on your computer/laptop/phone. Its free.
I get a kick out of British police shows. I cannot explain it.
Kodi runs on Win, linux, and android, among others.
While we're at it, there's VaughnLive. Also free. Works in a browser. Click the link and browse the MISC section. You'll be knocked out at the selection.
There's also Stirr. Legal and free. And commercials out the wazoo.
And Pluto. Legal and free. Also full of commercials.
So there are some legal alternatives to cable. Not to mention a small antenna and local tv.
Our good friends at Apple are currently backed up on their new $19 cleaning cloth.
Marketing Consultant: What's that?
Apple: It's a cleaning cloth.
Marketing Consultant: That's nice. You can probably get a few bucks for it.
Apple: $19
Marketing Consultant: I'm going to say what most of humanity will say:"$19 for a cleaning cloth?" People can buy microfiber cloth for pennies.
Apple: You forget, it has the Apple logo on it.
Marketing Consultant: I repeat: "$19 for a cleaning cloth?"
Apple: People will want an official Apple cleaning cloth. There's no telling what will happen if they use an off-brand cloth.
Marketing Consultant: But...but... $19
Apple: You forgot the Smug Factor<tm>. Having the most expensive phone adds to your smug. Why do you think Hollywood is so obsessed with it? Of course Apple customers will want an official Apple cleaning cloth. Any other cleaning cloth just isn't an Apple. Sure, you can buy a $1 cleaning cloth, but there's no Smug there. Apple owners are smug enough to leave all the decisions to us: we know better. They know better than to question us.
Marketing Consultant: I see.
- Colombia Is Finally Sterilizing Pablo Escobar’s Hippos
- wouldn't it be much easier to give them condoms?
Mrs. lefty's phone is unique, in that it conspires to piss me off and confuse the hell out of her.
It is always successful.
It aggravates me by being near me when it rings, bings, bongs, or BOOMS, because of those stupid tones she has on it. This frequently occurs when I'm napping. As a result, it frequently becomes airborne.
It aggravates her by not being there. Regardless of where, it isn't there.
Then when it isn't there, it aggravates me....
Her: Can you call my phone?
Me: again? This is the 2nd time today.
Her: I can't find it.
Me: Has it disappeared?
Her: I can't remember where I put it.
Her: I'm going shopping, see you later.
Her: [returns 5 minutes later] I forgot my phone.
Her: [returns from shopping] Have you seen my phone?
Me: No. Didn't you take it for a shopping trip?
Her: Yes, but I can't find it.
Me: I brought in the groceries. Your phone is in the car. I heard it make noise for a bit. Maybe it hid itself in the car.
Her: I have to call Uncle Bob. Where is my phone?
Me: I don't have care and custody of it. Have you considered stapling it to your forehead? Or, maybe... a belt clip.
Her: I don't wear a belt.
Me: You can clip it to your pocket - that's what I do.
Her: I don't have pockets.
Me: Didn't we agree you'd keep it with you, in case you fall?
Her: Yeah, but I can't find it. Could you call it for me?
Me: When you put it on the table, it always transports itself to the office. Yeah, go with the forehead.
Speaking of phones, we're all having fun with ours. I can call Mrs. lefty but can't text her. My friend can text me but it doesn't show up for hours. Neither of these things happen with anybody else. This does not surprise me. Did you ever think you'd see the day when it's faster to email than text?
- watching TikTok videos on Tourette's Syndrome can cause tics
- watching YouTube videos makes you stare straight ahead, because they erase your brain
- watching social influencers makes you a mindless sheep, but you already knew this, didn't you?
- watching cat videos makes you a pussy
- Multiple flights affected after Charlotte Airport ran out of water
- Charlotte's mayor, Evangeline Scum, said it was a good thing they didn't run out of air
- my carbon footprint is size 11
- The Queen canceled her Northern Ireland visit, on medical advice
- doctors say she's dead
- Note to women taking pictures: I don't know a lot bout photography, but here's an observation - the closer your ass is to the camera, the bigger it looks.
- Polk County, Fla. Sheriff Grady Judd on surge in violent crime: “Just chill out, drink a 7-Up, eat a MoonPie, quit murdering people.”
- wisdom for the ages - that's why he gets the Big Bucks...
- The medical show has a scene where the nurse tells the doctor that the patient tripped over his dog. Once in the patient's room, they said he tripped over his cocker spaniel.
- hmmm... I wonder if this is in the breed standard. Mine spends a lot of time trying to trip us.....
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