Your love is like a fractured tibia
- Two women accuse PM's father Stanley Johnson of inappropriate touching
- it's good to see England can show friendship and solidarity by following our president
- When asked for comment, Johnson further cemented relations by saying, "Huh?"
Today I identify as Silly Putty
The dog is at the groomer. It's really weird not to have our little shadow.
To compensate, I asked Mrs. lefty if she'd like me to lay on her lap.
She suggested I lay on the pile of stuff she asked me to take upstairs.
Romance never dies.
- Tea and coffee may be linked to lower risk of stroke and dementia – study
- unfortunately, cream and sugar cause rectal cancer
Flying AIDS News
- Biden administration plans imminent booster expansion to all adults
- #ImpeachBiden
- Boosters for all is critical, not a luxury, Fauci says as FDA decision nears
- Doctors are fighting back against fringe doctors pushing COVID misinformation
HEY, MY CABLE'S OUT!!!
We're a week past the last major outage, leading me to believe the service (rhymes with Bombcast) has scheduled downtimes weekly, on Tuesdays.
The tv service is out completely, which is odd. So is the internet. No big deal - I only use it to work.
Bombcast has an outage page. But you can't see it til you login. There's an external page, which tells me there's a large outage in the Northeast.
Tired of the outage, I call Customer Service, which is a bit of a misnomer. They ask for my phone number, then tell me they can't find anything for that number. Funny, it's not a problem when paying the bill. So I give it a second time, in which case they recognize it. Same phone number.
I have the choice of troubleshooting my internet or tv. Well, since both are out, this is not helpful.
They offer to reboot the tv box. Ok, I'll play along. Of course this does nothing.
Their outage map says everything is fine. My personal page says they can't reach our tv or internet. The joke is getting old. So I go to report the outage and there is nowhere to report it, but there IS an assistant, which is obviously a bot. I could tell it my hair's on fire, and it would check its database for 'hair on fire'. Mind you, 3 browsers will not produce a chatbot window, and when it pops up finally, it tells me my address still looks good! Well, that solves THAT problem.
Still no tv or internet.
Rather than allow me to do anything productive, it wants me to tighten my connections and reboot my modem, which has all sorts of lights that tell me I have no internet/cable connection.
This is getting fun. No, not fun, what's that other word.... Extremely annoying.
Wife, a woman of great intellect and visual acuity, observes there are wires down outside.
But you can't tell Bombcast there are wires down, via phone or online. I actually typed "wire down" into the chatbot and, surprise(!), nothing helpful happened. I have come to realize that Bombcast customer support is really a large, completely ineffective system, designed to waste hours of your life, under the illusion that you might accidentally get some help. Ha!
Wife calls again and somehow pleads her case to the phonebot and gets an actual human on the phone. With a local accent. He says they'll be out. Soon. Maybe today, Eventually. Definitely by Thanksgiving. And they're Very Sorry that I can't work from home.
Hello and thank you for calling Bombcast. If you would like to continue in Swahili, press 47.
What is your phone number?
234-555-5555
I'm sorry, I have no account associated with that number. Try again.
234-555-5555
Ok, is your address 7789 Phlegm St? Say yes or press 32.
YES
Let me pull up your account [sound of tapping on keyboard]. I see we cannot contact your devices. Would you like to troubleshoot tv or internet?
NO
I didn't hear you. Would you like to troubleshoot tv or internet.
FIRE!
I'm sorry, I did not hear you. Would you like to troubleshoot tv or internet.
THE WIRE IS DOWN AND HALF THE BLOCK'S ON FIRE!!
I'm sorry, I did not get that. Bombcast bought the cheaper phonebot and this is the result. Would you like to be connected to an actual human?
YES
Well, so would the other 1,234 people calling in now. Do you think you're somehow special? We're Bombcast -we own the internet!
I'd like to report trouble paying my bill.
Oh, why didn't you say so? I'll get a human on the line immediately.
Bombcasat Support, how may I help you.
Thank heavens, a real human. You ARE a real human, right?
From the womb. Did you say you are having trouble paying? We love money, here at Bombcast.
Look, I don't want to come off as a cable expert, but your wires are down and half the neighborhood's on fire, thus without service.
Oh, I see. That's really bad. Let me reset your modem.
I don't NEED my modem reset - I need someone to put the wires back on the poles and extract poor old Mrs. Smith's car from the wires, which seem to have wrapped around her car and her dog.
Would you like your tv box restarted?
Can I speak to a human, please?
I am a human.
Just checking. Can you get someone out here, please? My husband can't work from home.
Yes, certainly. We're experiencing a lot of outages, because it's Tuesday, and because we've spent a week diagnosing the problem at the adult website, but we should be able to get someone around there by next outage on Tuesday.
NEXT TUESDAY? Your downed wires are pulling the electrical wires off the poles. Three houses have burned to the ground. Children lived there. Oh, the humanity!
We could put your first, next Tuesday.
Ok, fine. Do I get a refund for lack of service?
Well, not during fire, rain, or weather. But you can certainly sign in to our website and try, if you've got a few days you want to kill. It will eat the boredom without tv.
How? I have no internet?
Thank you for calling Bombcast. Click.
-----> Actual Resolution:
Bombcast sent a technician out, in the Rapid Response time of 10 hours, who fixed the problem. A truck came up the street and knocked a few houses out.
- An explosion outside Liverpool Women's Hospital has been declared a terror incident by police.
- Hang on, hang on. Just because the guy had an improvised explosive device in a taxi doesn't mean terror. Maybe he was transporting it to somewhere else. He could have been teaching a class in IEDs. Maybe it was for scientific study. Maybe it was for his ex-wife... don't jump to conclusions.
- ThermionicEmissions congratulates Britney Spears on the ending of conservatorship. This means she handles all her own money and affairs. Britney said it's great to have car keys and a bank card.
- Britney celebrated by buying her closest 1,000 fans a house.
NPR slammed over story highlighting 'disappointment' over Boston electing Asian woman mayor
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