At Some Point You Have to Ask, is Cockroach Sexing for Me?

 

Your love is like  really really old seafood, left in the car for weeks

You also have to ask that if you have dyslexia, is blowing right for me. Errr... bowling.

Today I identify as  a 65 year old man who just discovered he's a woman. or a tarantula.

The dog has developed a taste for those Goeth caramels, with the white cream in the center. It's nice to see the child takes after me with sweets. The thing is, she's been carrying the same one around for a couple of days. This morning she had it hidden under a bedsheet and only took it out when she left the bed. I've seen her get the wrapping off candy before, but she's not doing that. I guess this is better than watching her carry around a pizza crust for a few days...

We didn't get the smartest puppy in the litter; we got the prettiest one.

Tesla has managed to stay out of the line of fire, but they're back today:

Tesla Full Self-Driving fails to notice child-sized objects in testing

I wonder what the Supreme Court will say about post-birth abortion 

It also fails to notice stop signs, bicycles, McDonalds, and any flat road.

Don't take my fascination with the hilarity that exploding cars bring; I'm a fan of Musk. He's a bright and funny guy.

 

Everything you need to know about the monkeypox health emergency

1. when does emergency turn into pandemic?
2. is anyone waking Fauci?
3. will Big Pharma claim highly exaggerated efficacy while sucking up highly effective profits?
4. how many livelihoods will be lost this time?
5. are state governors unimpeachable? They are if nobody tries. #ImpeachWolf

Teen’s jailing shows exactly how Facebook will help anti-abortion states

This story is fraught with so many issues, I'm not sure the title is accurate. But I'm putting it here to show what's coming. It reinforces that nothing you do is private, especially online, especially on Faceyspaces. The child should have gone old school and talked with her mother in person [ACK!]

I was immediately horrified that a state was investigating an 'illegal' abortion, but their claim is that this was before the Supreme Court's decision and they were investigating a chemical abortion post the legal time for it, plus a burned and buried corpse.

It's getting ugly, folks.

Domino's has pulled out of Italy.

Of course they did.... they couldn't make any money when Italy told them they can't refer to their product as pizza. It's like McDonald's in Texas, next to the meat packing plants. It's currently referred to as American Pizza, which runs the danger of Italy cutting off all relations with the US.

We tried to interview Italians, but couldn't find any who could stop laughing long enough to speak.

My state legislator just sent me an email about all the great things he accomplished this session. I'm smart enough not to read it, as it will anger me greatly and I'll spend the rest of the week being nasty to my dog.

 

It turns out spiders have REM-like sleep and may even dream.

Do you ever wonder what a nightmare looks like to a spider? Waking up to find a human in its bed? I know several of my nightmares involve REM, but that's a different story entirely...

It also makes you wonder how they came about this information and the cast iron balls of the researchers.

It is often said that you should take all opportunities, so on your deathbed, you won't say you regretted not doing something.

Thinking about it, some will regret not doing anything.

Some will be so embarrassed, they'll be looking forward to whatever comes next.

Some will regret nothing.

Some will be so happy to go, to the sweet release of death.

Many will wish for a do-over, possibly starting at the current age and working back.

I think I'll regret not being a rock star, and spending too much time holding down the couch. You never know what they'll get up to. It would take way too much time to regret the things I never did.

If you have a significant other or spouse, have you ever thought about who would go first?

And what happens after you die? A small question.

Do all dogs really go to heaven?

Lemmy's last words to Ozzy were

‘I could have lived a lot longer and taken care of myself, but I lived my life the way I want to live and I ain’t got no regrets’.

You don't hear this often. Hats off to Lemmy, who did it his way all the way.

What do you think you'll think on your deathbed?

Do you have a particular bed picked out or will it be after you're ejected from a car (or a plane)?

The FDA has approved a video game for treatment of ADHD.

It's been shown to work.

Dammit, I wish I didn't hate video games....

Look - birds!

Big Brother (oops - Big Sibling)

The danger of license plate readers in post-Roe America

Even the parking agencies use them. Like social media, it's the government and business that profit from your information. And your privacy.

The Environment 

Weed Killer Glyphosate Found in Most Americans' Urine

You know it as the main ingredient in Roundup, the weed killer. From Monsanto - no surprise. Either Cheney or Rumsfeld was at Monsanto.

You know you're in trouble when even urine is not safe to drink

Rainwater Everywhere Now Considered Too Toxic for Safe Consumption, Study Finds 

Hazardous pollutants known as perfluoroalkyl and polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS), which are sometimes called “forever chemicals” because they break down so slowly over time, are present at such elevated levels in environments around the world that scientists believe the ubiquitous contamination has now exceeded a safe planetary boundary, reports a new study.

Wow, we're killing ourselves rapidly on the planet, plus we're making a mess off-planet with space debris and killer satellites. If there are aliens, they definitely want to quarantine us on Earth, lest we turn the galaxy into a space trash ad for the Military Industrial Complex.

It's amazing, the things we're wired to do. A lot of it is tied to reproduction. Women look at well-built guys and guys look at huge breasts for suitability for breeding (he will give me strongest babies and defend us/she will have plenty of milk to feed the babies and birthing hips). So I see the bizarre trend of humongous asses and huge, fake breasts and wonder. Yes, it's tied to reproduction. The funny part is that I like petite women, breast size unimportant, so long as she has an even number of them. I also don't want children. Coincidence? 

You should thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that I don't reproduce.

 

China's Xiaomi teases tech to control smart homes with brain waves

Unfortunately, you'll still need a controller, sorry.

Relocated beavers helped mitigate some effects of climate change

Honey, we need to relocate your

 Are you just tired of the sheeplike output from Hollywood? Do you resent a mortgage payment to see it? You're going to love this: there's a live-action Pac-Man movie in the works. If this generates profits, there will naturally be a Pac-Man2. Then there will be squawking from Hollywood to make a Mrs. Pac-Man, because Patriarchy. Next on the hit parade will be live-action Mickey Mouse, Pepe le Pew (in smell-a-vision), and Bugs Bunny, featuring Wile E Coyote in real life thousand foot drops. Nobody gets hurt.

In a move you'd expect from Amazon, UPS denied a driver's request for a fan, in dangerous heat. Apparently they already denied his request for air conditioning in the truck.

UPS said the incident "should never have occurred."  Agreed.

Further, UPS is very sorry (for getting caught). They will do everything within their power to see that this never happens again (they don't get caught again). Meanwhile, approval has been granted for a paper towel, upon request.

President Biden's approval rating is at 40%, the highest in months. When informed, Biden said, "That's good, right? It's better than half!"

This Maine Coon cat is Big Pussy

look at the SIZE of that thing....

Bruce Springsteen is against corporate greed, unless it's his ticket prices

If Springsteen and Seinfeld were in a sinking boat and you could only save one, which would it be?

The oars are your best bet - they're made out of sturdy wood. 

About the military's F-35F-35 Stealth planes.

Turns out they were made by Tesla. Most are all being recalled due to faulty ejector seats. They won't necessarily eject when asked politely.

I kid: if they were made by Tesla, they would eject pilots randomly.

This plane is hideously expensive and had a very difficult time being ready for use. But that's ok, it's only money, going to the Military Industrial Complex.