Your love is like green eggs and spam
So, Trump's in trouble again.
Today I identify as the only "offensive" street sign in California that hasn't been changed
No one saw it coming....
Why Are People Moving Out of California?
They hit their heads on the renamed politically correct street signs and experienced a moment of clarity?
- When are the supply chain issues going to end?
Let's clear our heads for a moment and think about what happened with the Flying AIDS, then wonder why there are conspiracy theories. It doesn't seem that far out to me...
So I was sleeping, kinda. I got up for a moment and cursed the guy next door, who was pounding on something. I wondered how early it was and how he had the nerve to be making that kind of racket on a Sunday. Looking at my watch, I grumbled because he was banging in the morning at 2:30pm. Oh. It was entirely possible I needed some sleep the previous night. They call it a sleep deficit. Of course it's a sleep deficit; it can spend some quality time with my house deficit, car deficit, sex deficit, and financial deficit. It's a life of deficits, as some annoying old man said hundreds of years ago. Wife celebrated by falling out of bed. She doesn't drink either.
So at 2:30, I came to the stunning realization that Wife didn't set her alarm for early, so we could visit one of those 'quaint' little towns in the morning. I asked, but she was too busy falling out of bed to answer. I suddenly realized what a tremendous idea she had. No one bothers you for anything when you fall out of bed. I could make a career out of it, but I fear the floor isn't padded well enough to protect my body after a few tries. I could get one of those Traumatic Ass Injuries. Plus I think she doesn't like setting her alarm because then she'll have to wake me. This is an activity best performed from across the street. Or across the state. I am not pleasant when awakened. Come to think of it, I am not pleasant.
After falling out of bed lost its steam and became boring, I left the bed, in search of coffee. The bed is a bad place to get coffee, kind of like the basement. Since I haven't gotten my Coffee-to-the-Desktop app going, I'm limited to the general area of the coffeemaker. After making myself a proper cup of brown gold, I found the effort taxing and was ready for my first nap of the day. This is what weekends are for. Weekdays too, as soon as I get my boss to approve it.
It's a beautiful day out, with nice summer temperatures (it's not 90). We have lots of sunlight left, so it's good napping weather. Since I'm awake, the neighbor has stopped pounding on whatever he was pounding on. If we go by the obvious clues, he purchased the house to wake me up. It gets listed as a skill on his resume.
I heroically decided to push through the tired and find something to do. When not napping, sitting is good, so off I went. Unfortunately that was the end of my ideas of what to do, so I needed something that required little awakeness, thought, or effort. That's why I'm typing this now. Unfortunately, sitting is usually a prelude to getting tired, requiring a nap. I am unsure if this counts as my second nap or first nap, even though I didn't avail myself of the first one. I couldn't spend any more time on this kind of frivolity, so I figured it would solve itself during the nap sometime. After a few well-had naps, it turned out to be 6:00. 6:00 is one of those times. It occurs every day at the same time. To some it's dinner time. In our case, we both sat there, staring at each other, inquiring what we were having for breakfast. No, it's not dinner just because it's 6:00. It's my first meal of the day, so it's breakfast - sue me.
Wife asked me what time to set her alarm for tomorrow morning. I smell a trap.
No, they're absolutely not tracking you
- Facebook’s In-app Browser on iOS Tracks ‘Anything You Do on Any Website’
- Facebook can track your Internet history and credit card number on other websites
- Data brokers amass profiles of pregnant women – and, of course, it's all up for sale
- GM Makes $1,500 OnStar Subscription Mandatory on GMC, Buick, Cadillac Models
- Amazon’s Roomba Deal Is Really About Mapping Your Home
(told you so... now Bloomberg agrees)
- 'Ring Nation' Is Amazon's Reality Show for Our Surveillance Dystopia
If I ‘Had a Penis’ I’d Be President
Elizabeth Warren slams disgusting misogyny of Democratic voters
I call fake news. Warren could just identify as a penis.
CDC no longer gently recommends COVID precautions most weren’t following anyway
Unvaccinated people no longer need to quarantine and physical distancing is de-emphasized.
They. Have. No. Fscking. Idea.
Dad restrains woman who stripped to underwear and tried to storm Jet2 cockpit - twice, yelling 'Allahu Akbar'
It turns out that this is the new in-flight entertainment. If the woman is attractive, they let her into the cockpit.
Knife-wielding muslim attacks Salman Rushdie, ruins eye, puts him on ventilator.
This is your brain on religion
It's bad enough we're stuck with Old Joe; Nancy Pelosi is 82. In 2018, she promised not to run again for House dem leader, but forgot and is running again. Dementia? Nah, naked political greed.
study also finds doctors aren't telling young women how much fun it is
A walrus, a protected species, was euthanized in Oslo because they couldn't guarantee the safety of people, who wouldn't stop coming up to her, sometimes taking pictures, sometimes with children.
Why didn't they just euthanize the people?
We're a sad species.
So I picked on Alice Cooper for golfing. His stories about interactions with other famous people are hilarious. Elvis, Raquel Welch, Peter Sellers, Mae West, and more.
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