ThermionicEmissions sadly notes the passing of the Queen and sends best wishes to her family and friends. And country. And our one British reader, who will stop reading if I make any Queen jokes.
Therefore I will not say a word about reptilians or her contempt for her country, putting Charles in Charge. Fans of Are You Being Served will not hear any "Jug Ears" references. Lastly, I will under no circumstances mention that Meghan is next in line after Charles.
Your love is like new Mega Chewing Gum, now with nails!
Putin will not attend Gorbachev's funeral
"I've got a war to run here, man! Plus I can't attend the funeral of everyone I poison. Oh, is this live?"
Today I identify as Julie Andrews
Royal Caribbean will equip all its ships with Starlink Internet
Royal Caribbean would do better to keep its ships upright and free of viruses
We've established (at least as of last post) that California was established to entertain the other states. In the planet of California, there are several amusing areas, each with its own charm (or aggravation, depending on your perspective). The area that never fails is The People's Republic of Berkeley. Today's entry is
Outrage as Berkeley is now demanding students wear masks if they are not vaccinated against FLU
You simply cannot pay for this kind of entertainment. If Berkeley put out some kind of newspaper with all their goings on, the majority of subscribers would be out of state. This would surprise Berkeley, but they'd quickly turn it around to outrage and hold a protest against this sort of thing.
While we're on California:
California weighs rules giving fast food workers more powerBut a campaign in the southern state of Kerala is aiming to change that. The initiative's organisers are taking menstruation simulators to malls and colleges in Ernakulam district to let men experience period cramps, in a bid to normalise conversation around the subject.
They used his own lyrics against him.
The Restoring Artistic Protections or Rap Act was introduced last month by Congressman Hank Johnson, a black Democrat from Georgia, who argues that the use of rap lyrics as criminal evidence is racist.
Dave's not here, man.....
This is also true during high school.
The University of Berkeley came out strongly [inhale] in favor of doobies, stating categorically that it makes coming up with things to protest much easier. The ideas are sometimes not so great the next day, so they remain constantly stoned, so everything's great.
‘Pearl’ Necklaces: The People Getting Jewelry Made From Semen
Not since vagina-scented candles has the world seen such bold design sense.
"Collecting the sample was the trickiest part," ....really?
The University of Berkeley immediately mounted a protest. When asked what the protest was about, a spokesperson said, "We're not sure yet, but you can rest assured we're against it. Something."
Hollywood suffered a grave defeat when Serena and Venus Williams played in the US Open. It became the hip thing to sit in the stands, like a fan, among the people, so the stars lined up. Everything went south when the airport they were using for their private planes shut down for maintenance. The stars had no other way to get to New York, so disappointment ruled the day. Oh yeah, the sisters were knocked out in the first round.
The University of Berkeley protested because the sisters losing in the first round was racist. Also the games were held in Flushing. They said repeated flushing depleted needed resources. They prefer to flush at most once per week, and demanded the same from the rest of the nation. Representatives were in Washington, DC to demand the president sign the Full of Shit act.
WARNING
If you have older iDevices, you want to update them now. Apple just put out a necessary safety update. The irony of me pushing Apple updates is thick, no?
Shares of major chipmakers Nvidia and AMD have fallen amid concerns of new US restrictions on the sale of artificial intelligence chips to China.
Speaking of irony, the chip makers forgot to complain when Biden gave them $52 billion recently. I'm relatively certain their stock prices did not fall then.
President Biden just got done meeting with the wind farm lobby. The president will give them $50 billion because there's just not enough wind lately, as a casualty of Global Warming.
In related news, due to most business moving online, the business card industry is experiencing pain. In his Philadelphia address, President Biden pledged to have his best people look into the matter. He said that business card printing is a uniquely American business and if it needs a shot in the arm, he is not opposed to giving a few tens of billions. "After all," he said, "we're helping every other industry; why not toilet makers?" An aide whispered in his ear that he was talking about business cards. Biden said this was another effect of Trumpism and asked when his next nap was.
Speaking of Biden's Philadelphia speech, he attacked MAGAs. Some of these are the people who threatened the FBI. So let's attack them. What's the worst that could happen? He really is dumber than he looks.
If you think about it, these people are not a threat to democracy, as Biden claimed. The ones taking action non-violently are what this country is about. If the past few presidents haven't spurred you to action, isn't it about time? The threat to democracy is Congress and the presidents. They want you passive and voting R or D. Accepting the restrictions on freedom and the debt.
Best Phrase of the Week
I just locked myself inside.
- God, I love Labor Day. It's the day we celebrate by not working.
I remember this, in the distant past, as a horrifying day, signifying the imminent start of a new school year. Now it signifies a 3 day weekend and just a few weeks more of 90 degree temperatures. This is because the groundhog stuck its head out and died after being heated to 350 for 20 minutes. It's good eatin' if you get it in time.
After 8 hours of toiling over a hot computer, we decided to go out for dinner. You might know the place: it's a large chain, known for their Real Imitation Italian-like food substance. They were very handicapped-friendly. They took away most of the parking spots to put in food pickup spots. The only way in is a ramp that spans half the restaurant. So if you're in a wheelchair, you're ok. If you're pushing the wheelchair, you'll need a defibrillator, which is conveniently located on the wall, right inside the front door.
There was a stand, with about twelve employees standing at it. I don't know what they were up to, but they all got really quiet and looked guilty. The closest one bade us good evening and were there two? Being in security, I played my hand pretty close to the vest... I wasn't about to give out this kind of information freely. I looked around, noticing that no one slipped up behind us, so there were only two of us at the stand. Realizing there was no way out, I said yes. I asked for the no screaming child section, but it was late and that section was closed.
I think they were playing rock paper scissors to figure out who'd be our server. The one with the blue hair won. I'm kidding - they all had blue hair, including the women. Bobbi took us to our table, we sat down, then he asked us if we would mind moving to that table. We thought about it for a while, then decided to take it. We don't know what that was all about, but at least we got a window seat. We could watch the traffic back up when a train crossed. If we got really lucky, some old person in a truck would park it on the tracks, as tends to happen a lot lately. We'd have front row seats for the crash. And get to watch the old person screaming, "Why? WHY?"
I had my girly drink, a frozen strawberry margarita. Wife tasted it and said I was going to get plowed. I made her the same offer, but it was too early to tell. In spite of her observation, she was fine with me driving home, so I mustn't have been plowed enough. Mrs. lefty has a sure fire method for seeing if I'm drunk. It has to do with the sarcasm, screaming, and cursing. If it stops, I'm drunk. Or dead.
Wife got Somethingorother Alfredo. Most of the dishes are alfredo. Dieticians refer to is as "Heart attack on a plate." As if that weren't enough, the waitress appears with some sort of cheese torture device and asks if Wife would like some MORE cheese on top of her cheese. I'll never be a good Italian because I don't like much cheese. I asked Wife to taste my food and see what the overbearing taste was... I suspected an herb. She chewed, looked thoughtful, and said it was the ricotta. Ah yes, ricotta always has that herb taste. I should have suspected it right off. I asked if it was because she didn't listen or didn't understand. She said, "Huh?"
We were told we could pay with some little magic box on the table. Just want I wanted. Then I had to figure out which was going to get hacked first - the box or the restaurant chain. This all came to a screeching halt when we asked to pay the waitress. With cash. All of the sudden, red lights and sirens went off. The sheriff showed up, along with the local police, who seem to have a permanent sub-station at the bar. With guns drawn, they explained to us that nobody pays in cash and what were we up to? They got the manager, who had to pull out the store Standard Operating Procedures manual to figure out how to accept cash. I looked at the box, but it had no slots for cash. We tipped well, so the waitress took the cash and put her personal card in the box. This is one of the reasons we don't go out much.
The Osbournes are coming back to tv. I envision a show called The leftys. It won't be focused so much on dog poop, mumbling, or extra-pyramidal symptoms of medicines so much as the shit that happens to us all the time. Viewers can listen to the dog bark at most things, me asking Wife where things are, and wife asking what happened to Thursday - she's positive she hasn't seen it this week. We can't tell the internal children we're on tv because the viewers would be treated to an adult body with the voice of a vivacious, bright five year old, telling everyone she's beautiful and smart and deserves to be the star of the show. Life with the leftys, coming soon to the NO Network.
It Started with the Diabetics
The StarNet takeover. as foretold in The Terminator, has caused fear in many, laughter in others. The machines will take over, it's just a matter of time. Because they're smarter than we are, by far. But you don't know the full breadth and depth of the long term plan. You just see the computers and AI. There are other things at work....
If you're diabetic. you may have noticed you can get those monitors that stick on your side. It's a little plastic thing, which does the measuring for you and sends it to your phone (and the manufacturer. If things really get out of control, your mother). There is now another plastic gadget that will adjust your dosage. You stick it right on the other side of your stomach. This is all part of the insidious plot. All new medicine will come as a plastic thing you stick to yourself. Pretty soon, you're a plastic being, with all functions controlled by your plastic exoskeleton. You are now part of SkyNet.
Think about it: if you want to quit smoking, you can try a patch. If you don't want a shot for your birth control, use a patch. Allergies? There's a patch for that too. Explosive diarrhea? Diabetic Ketoacidosis? Gonorrhea? Gas? Watch, as all new medicine stops coming in pills and attaches directly to your skin.
Don't let this happen to you. I have a 100% record of disaster prediction (aka conspiracies); you can't afford to let me be right on this. Think about it.
In other words, the FCC has given a lot of money to cable and fiber companies to use for their business. I was never really good at math, but
- you will pay for the services of these businesses
- you will pay for the $6 billion
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