IMPORTANT NOTE: per the governator of PA and his assistant with gigantism, masks are required to read this blog. While we will not check your vaccination status, we hope you have your paperz. If neccesary, we will have Dr. Oz verify your compliance.
Your love is like polio
The SHTF in England, where the Queen's death has been officially blamed on Meghan Markle, and the people are revolting. Sorry, the people are revolting over the name Balmoral, insisting it be called something nice, like Smith, or Greenland, or Bob.
Today I identify as the Queen
So I'm plagued with Windows at work. Thusly I'm plagued by Google, in the form of Chrome. One of my coworkers warned me about an issue, wherein all of your bookmarks disappear. "My, that's inconvenient," I thought. Weeks later, my bookmarks disappeared. 'My, that's inconvenient' turned into other words, mostly with a four letter count. Following the instructions left by my coworker, I can positively state that the browser restarted. With the same complete lack of bookmarks. Again, I praised the operating system and browser, unsure of which caused the problem. Not that I had anything important to do, as I was at work. Going to Helpdesk was the option of last resort: I heard about people chewing their own fingers off rather than go to Helpdesk. Considering that Helpdesk provided the fix that didn't fix, I was even less enthused.
So I restored my bookmarks from my backup.
I'm feeling quite the hero today. If they knew, Helpdesk would respect the hell out of me too. Since it's Monday morning, I should probably coast the rest of the week.
England, further
People will die, but life goes on. The Queen's beloved corgis will be taken care of by Prince Andrew, the Queen's second son, and noted sex offender, in the Jeffrey Epstein case.
Seriously... corgis? Not any other breed, like... say.... cockers? A nice, regal chow?
In his 9-11 speech, Joe Biden mentioned the Queen's passing. He said that although they were a 'righteous band,' they must accept responsibility for 9-11.
Speaking of the Queen's passing, 100 year old Gwendolyn Hoare almost passed when she received a birthday telegram from the Queen herself, one day after Her Majesty passed. A large section of the UK calls this proof of life after death. A smaller section says only Her Majesty could have pulled this one off. Meanwhile, Ms. Hoare is undergoing a full series of cardiac tests and hopes she doesn't receive any more telegrams from deceased royal-type persons.
Reactions on the Queen's passing are coming in fast and furious, with few surprises:
- She was always runnin round the planet. She'd go to china and bring us back some made-in-India toys. She was always forgetting our names - Harry and the other one
- We haven't had relations in over 40 years - Prince Philip, deceased
- She didn't come to my wedding and signed me up for Welfare - Meghan Markle
- I'm the king, you know - Charles
- The Sistah's representin - Biden/Harris - US Center for Diversity
- Oh shit... who's running things now? - Canada
- When do we vote for a new one? - Alabama, Kentucky, parts of Texas
Please don't tell him the parade's canceled. Just let him march.
I think this explains Biden giving away $10 grand on tuition each. It also explains why college isn't the best idea for everyone. Or anyone.
It's ok, Scooter... college isn't for everybody. Do you have any idea what a plumber makes? If you go into the trades, you don't even have to show up or answer customer calls.
Elon Musk drafted a short tweet to apologize for his lack of presence lately, as well as the lack of Tesla faults, up to and including full immolation. He promises to get back to the spotlight as soon as this Twitter nonsense has been put to bed and he buys Spain.
Speaking of banging starlets, somebody in the lefty household is embarking on a vacation. My best guess would be the other person in the household, not including the dog. I cannot vacation because the blog needs me. Remember the enforced vacation last December? I had to burn up my vacation days or I'd lose them. It did not go well, but at least it provided much blog fodder.
If you haven't read about this earlier, I instituted a new position called Vice Wife. If Joe Biden were unable to perform the duties of office, his vice president would take over. Some would say Biden was never able to perform, but let's not go there now. So I figured we'd inaugurate the position of vice wife, for when the regular wife was not able to perform the duties of her office. She snickered and asked what about a vice husband? I told her it's only fair. If I fail to perform the duties of my office. Go get one - he can mow the lawn. There's a duty of office I hate to perform. I'm good with all the other ones.
So I figure vacation is the time to install the vice wife (assuming we don't go on vacation together). Going on vacation together and installing the vice wife would potentially cause problems. Or, if vice wife is not an acceptable title, I'm amenable to having a babysitter. Naturally the main problem here is finding a candidate and having her accept the position. At least she doesn't have to get voted in, except by me (and potentially, Wife). How does one ask a particular female if she'd like to take the office of vice wife?
"Hi there. I need a vice wife for a week or so. Are you up to performing the duties of office?"
It won't be the first time a woman has looked at me nervously then run away.
You might be asking yourself why both leftys aren't going on vacation. Good question. I too believe that married people should vacation together. But imagine every step of the alleged vacation being painful. We start with a leisurely 10-12 hour drive to get there. A 2 hour drive to visit friends starts to get touchy, so 10-12 could get 'interesting.' My habit of falling asleep after 15 minutes in the car is sometimes a problem, especially if I drive. If When we arrive, it's a house with many bedrooms. Yes, it's a vacation! With other people! Because we all save up for a nice getaway where we can relax and enjoy ourselves. With 8 other couples. But hey, the fun doesn't end there.... no sir... the couples are all family! HER family! Can't you feel the love? The togetherness? The fighting? The money spent to hang out with in-laws? The ones where the guys watch sports and drink beer (neither of which I do).
Oh, wait, I forgot to mention this. It's at the beach! Whoo boy, do I like the beach. And when I say I like the beach, I mean I really can't stand the beach. Don't get me wrong, I like the sun. I just don't like being out in it. That's assuming there's any sun. We can run along the sand (burning our feet and tripping!). We can go into the water (why?). We can wear lovely bathing suits (have you seen these people in daily attire? Bathing suits contravene the Geneva Convention). The last time I wore a bathing suit, I made sure to wear a shirt, because I believe in being somewhat considerate to the general public.
Yes, an entire week of this goodness.
The relatives drinking beer. The infighting. The trying to look like I'm having a good time. The relatives trying to be nice to me, the Martian. The relatives finally giving up trying to be nice to me. Fun jaunts with random relatives to local points of interest (fast food and tourist shops). Communal dinners! Constantly remembering to smile!
When the entire fun week has ended, the tears start to flow. Tears of gratefulness. Tears of swearing we'll never do this again. Tears about driving 10-12 hours home. Tears hoping one of us remembered to board the dog. They said pets weren't allowed, so we were worried they wouldn't let me in the house. But I guess, all in all, 10-12 hours in the car is a small price to pay, to get away from our 'vacation.'
I mean, seriously....... who asks their spouse to go on vacation with their family? Then gets upset that you don't think this is the best idea since chocolate? Am I the only crazy one around here?
And you're asking yourself how could I possibly miss this excursion? Why would I rather stay home, cook all my meals, do the wash, attend to the dog, and sleep a lot? Why would I rather mow the lawn? I could develop a new hobby, like self-injury. I could spend time with the new neighbors, whether they wanted to or not. I'd show up at their place around dinner time, hopefully with a pizza or two. You know how social I am. I could learn to play the guitar backwards (right handed). I don't have to figure out that much because I still have work. During 'vacation,' I'll be thanking heavens for work. Who knows... maybe I'll put up daily updates. Sorry.
How many vacations end up in divorce? Just askin'.
Best Song Title
This ain't the planet I signed up for - Jon Paris
If you're like me, you probably aren't really like me. That aside, I understand 'dark mode' is best on the computer screen because it's easier on the eyes. This also makes sense if you spend a lot of time staring at said screen. You can find a dark mode for your operating system and/or programs under it. Firefox has an addon called Dark Reader, which turns all or most pages to dark mode. You can play with the colors or exempt the page. I'm sure there are others for FF and other browsers. The browsers themselves have dark modes. Might be worth checking out, for your eyes. Also ask your eye doc - I have no idea what I'm doing, optometrically or anywhere else.
Speaking of the Moon, it's interesting to see where some of my readers come from. It's especially interesting when they're not from English-speaking countries. This week, the most hits came from Canada. This is exactly what I was talking aboot.
Is it because I haven't joked about Trudeau picking out a new, fashionable dress lately? Because I can really afford to alienate readers.
I'm paying some attention to the Alex Jones (2nd) trial over Sandy Hook. The more I see, the more confused I get. Mr. Jones is allowed to say pretty much what he wants, excluding inciting violence. He said Sandy Hook was fake. Sandy hook residents sued and won, to the tune of $40m plus. In paying very close attention, I still cannot understand how anybody won against Jones' First Amendment rights. At this point, the trial seems centered on whether or not Jones made money from this. Well, he is a business. If he said Texas (where he's from) didn't exist, could he be sued for that? Who has standing to sue? What damages did he cause?
Make no mistake, I feel for the people from Sandy Hook. They've been through a lot. But Jones didn't do anything suitworthy. Some of Jones' followers caused some problems, for which they should be punished, like harassment. Jones is not responsible for this. If there are any readers familiar with what laws Jones allegedly broke, please let the rest of us know.
I used to listen to Alex Jones every now and then. He's a great character. Some of what he says is truth. He predicted 9-11 and made Bilderberg a household name. As with anybody, you have to listen and figure out whether what you hear is true or false. However, radio and tv people should not be prosecuted for saying things that are perfectly legal.
Is it TIME?
Is it finally Time?
It might be.
I've been flamethrowering libertarian candidates for looking like mountain men or wearing large, bright yellow hats in official pictures. While I have a whirly-nerd cap, I am not running for anything (from is a different story). In order to play in Their playground, we have to look like them. Never thought I'd be saying this, but put on a suit and tie, dammit. Although you make more sense standing next to the Rs and the Ds, you don't look like you belong there.
I noticed the Governator's henchman, Fetterman, appearing and running in jeans and a hoodie. And he's way ahead in the polls. Quite frankly, he looks like some kind of arch villain, in a new comic book. But the fact the he gets away with it tells us people finally don't care, or that they don't care in general. Or they're laughing at Dr. Oz. Any or all of these could be true. Regardless, vote libertarian. At least look at their platform. The Governator, Fetterman, and Oz are all ass clowns. Voting the same as we always have has done nothing but make things worse. Time for a real version of Obama's change.
I'm a huge Joe Cocker fan (RIP) and I always have been, ever since I was little and found one of his albums in my mom's collection. As I'm listening to his Woodstock performance, I hear a bit of between song patter. It occurs to me that as difficult as he can be to understand when singing, speaking ain't much better.
Another great talent that we won't see more of.
Emmys: Squid Game's Lee Jung-jae is the first Asian to win best drama actor
Garbage. 2022 garbage.
Let's say I am an up and coming guitar player (I am). Let's say I'm an up and coming and getting noticed guitar player (I am not). Let's say I win a prestigious award (I haven't). Let's say the news item is lefty is the first Martian to win Best Up and Coming Guitarist. I'd be pretty upset. I spent a lot of time honing my craft. Hours and hours per day for years and years. I'm pretty proud of where I've gotten, but know there's still a long way to go. I would not be happy that the focus is on Martian instead of guitar talent. I'll bet the industry isn't upset. After all, being an oppressed minority is all we talk about. We actually want to bend rules to make it more fair for minorities, because those fat old white men win everything. It's the damn Patriarchy again.
If Lee Jung-jae won because he/she is a talented actor, let it be known.
Ironically, I don't give a rip about awards shows, where snotty folks spend all night patting themselves on the back and pretending to be happy for others who beat them out for the award.
A looted coin worth $1m was returned to Israel after a years-long hunt.
Truly a smart move. Israelis serve in the army and walk the streets with automatic weapons. And that's just the women.
The current owners of the Star Trek brand wish to apologize most sincerely to the grieving family of director Jean-Luc Goddard (91). The mass casualty event was uncalled-for and they promise to watch spelling and pronunciation very carefully before sending out aggrieved masses. Agents for Patrick Stewart were not available for comment.
P.S. Comments are moderated: I have to approve them before anyone sees them, so if you want to drop me a personal note, send it as a comment. Or send it to everyone. Elon Musk says all my readers are fake, like on Twitter. Show him he's wrong.
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