Your love is like Dolly Parton's first 125 bras: hidden, strained beyond belief, waiting for better material
In these days of divide and conquer, disagreement, and bad politics, it's great that the world can come together and achieve a goal.
Today I identify as a book on drag, coming to 'convert' your children
If you think opting out does anything at all, you're sadly mistaken. It won't change til you pay attention to it.
Mainstream or Pr0n
This is the exclusive ThermionicEmissions game where the reader picks whether the 2 movies or tv shoes are mainstream or pr0n. No looking it up on the web - that's cheating.
- Hot and Lovely Charm
- Lustery
Oops - President Giveaway stumbled up the steps of Air Force One for the 2nd time in 2 weeks.
Asked for comment, he pushed his press secretary aside and addressed the teeming masses:
As your commander-in-thief, I need to address the lies about me stumbling up the steps to Air Force One. First of all, it was Air Force Seven [Secret Service whispers in ear - we don't have an Air Force Seven, Sir.]. Thirdly, you people clearly don't understand gravity: it makes going up the steps a breeze, but coming down is a bitch. I think those steps were made in China. We need to get rid of them.
Press: But Mr. President, you tripped up the steps.
Now don't get smart with me or I'll have you shipped to Aruba. These steps are treacherous; they try to get me every time. Instead of reporting I got tripped twice, what about the other 4 times I didn't trip, huh?
Press: Mr. President, that's when the Secret Service carried you.
[to Secret Service] Throw him in the Trump Room.
Any of you other wiseacres have any more smart questions?
Press: Baba Booie Baba Booie.
Yes, I know him well. If you can keep a secret, he may be my running mate.
Press: Will you be running for president again?
No, the doctors tell me to run around the house. Kamila told me that minorities have first shot at being president. Sometimes she's a real crackpot. [Secret Service: crack UP, Sir]
Press: Was that a joke?
Was what a joke?
Press: the Pentagon won't release any information on the 3 UAPs shot down last week. What can you tell us?
Oh they were big and round [holds arms out] and flew around like this [spins]. I said we need to be friendly, so I told them to shoot the UAPs down. 6 days later, they shot them down. See how important I am?
Press: Mr. President, what were they?
Oh, they were really shiny.
Press: Were they alien?
No, they were ships. Keep up with me. I have a lot to do today. After the conference we're going to McDonald's for... what's that thing called? A Depressed Meal. Last question....
Press: Ronald Reagan ate jellybeans. Bill Clinton ate staff, and Hillary Clinton ate babies. What will you be known for?
Cardboard. I eat it and have the I.Q. of it. Just because you were so great today, I'd like to give you a small gift of $27 million. Each. We'll keep it secret from the National Debt, ok?
We came upon a few entrepreneurs selling Girl Scout Cookies the other day.
I don't know about you, but I can't trust any organization that doesn't molest its members. No wonder they keep trying to get in the Boy Scouts.
My memory isn't all that good, but I distinctly remember that the cookies were affordable and numerous. Then the price crept up. Then there were plastic inserts that cut down the amount of cookies. Then the price went up again. Yearly. The national organization realized that they only have a few more years until the country realizes what they're doing, so they need a new scheme. In 2030, you will be charged $8.50 for not buying the cookies. The price will go up if you weren't going to buy more than one box.
- Meanwhile, the Boy Scouts, upset at the level of abuse, want to hold all their meetings at Catholic churches, where they could potentially double the abuse.
The latest court circus is called the Ice Cream Man Murder. A poor dude running his ice cream truck gets mugged. He then plays investigator to find the mugger, goes to his house and shoots him. Apparently this is illegal. I don't see why.. the guy should get a medal, plus an award from the police for tracking the societal leech down. For some reason, my fellow libertarians are mad at me. Damned if I know.
There's something up at the top ladder of Rich Folks.
- Lord Zuck has cut Meta's budget, but quadrupled his personal security.
- Elon Musk has lowered the price of Teslas twice, fired half of Twitter, and his bodyguards follow him into the bathroom. Asked for comment, Musk said he still does all his own wiping, to save money.
- Jeff Bezos traded favors with William Shatner and will be starring in the new movie - Star Trek 47: Kirk Gets a Colostomy.
Speaking of Tesla, there is a(nother) recall. The rear seat was not properly secured and will behave as an Ejector Seat. You can't have a rear seat eject because people who buy Teslas sit in the back seat, expecting the car to drive itself. The bolts will have to be re-torqued and the drivers will require an IQ test and flameproof suit, in case of spontaneous combustion. The rear seat will be renamed "In-law Seat".
The lord helps those that help themselves. So keep up thine patches and antiviruses. And for God's sake, stay open on Sundays.
Well of course it does. Why did we need a study to determine medical facts not in dispute? One has to keep the prostate healthy by masturbating or sex several times per week. You don't want an upset prostate, trust me. I got this advice from a doctor years ago. I told him to write me a note saying this, so I could present it to my girlfriend. I also asked if Blue Cross/Blue Shield covered it, in case I needed a professional.
Oh, this is Reddit's NoFap routine.
I guess someone needed a few million for an intense study.
There are other studies:
- Does sex feel good?
- Is getting out of bed now and then better for your body?
- Breathing: Good or Bad?
- Dogs: do they have fur?
How many do you suppose there will be? Anything under 10 personalities is boring.
Mainstream or Pr0n answer
- Hot and Lovely Charm - a Windows game
- Lustery - pr0n
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