Your love is like nazi toast - French toast's evil cousin.
Is this the natural successor to the Man Cave? I know the wife isn't cleaning it.
Don't forget the Fleshlight - the portal to the future of sex.
Today I identify as a practical joke that went rogue
Uh-oh. They loved him at first...
Apology: Naturally I didn't look closely at the warning when you come to the blog. I didn't realize it wanted people to log in. Unfortunately I can't do anything about it, other than take the adult flag off the blog and try to be squeaky clean, until the next gutless coward reports the blog to Google for 'adult content.' All I can offer is my sincere apology. Up around the top right is "Subscribe to this blog." Check that out if you'd rather bypass signing in.
I'm reading online when I come across this bit of wisdom: In no case should a grown person's socks be ringed. He was obviously referring to socks with stripes across the top.
What is wrong with the world? Can't we all live together?Why the Serious Hatred for striped socks?
It hit very close to home many years ago. Mrs. lefty was talking to someone and mentioned that she discovered my striped socks and was systematically throwing them out. This was her first mistake: if she had just done it and not bragged, I'd never know. Men are dense sometimes. I can be dense most of the time. And sometimes dense co-exists with trying, aggravating, and soul-crushingly bull-headed. But at least I'm unattractive.
I can't imagine, for the life of me, what generates such meanness about striped socks.
Once I was done with the striped socks, all I had was your generic white socks; the same as the striped socks, but without the stripe. This seemed to cause harmony within the universe. Within the universe, perhaps, but not among my band at the time. At a gig, they all had a whack at me for my socks. Apparently they were too tall. I guess I'll just have to accept my Sock Blindness.
Hello, I'm lefty.
HELLO, LEFTY.
I have Sock Blindness.
[applause, cheers] We hear you, brother. YES. Woo hoo. Testify!
I thought I had all I could stand (get it - socks/stand?) when the drummer had his turn.
"Fix your socks."
Why - they don't look broken.
"One of them is much lower than the other one. Pull it up."
[ooooooooohh. I know what THIS is. Time for a little revenge...]
I pulled the lower sock up - is this what you mean?
"Yes."
Then I pulled the other one down. His face dropped. So I pulled it down further.
This could have gone on all day, because sometimes I enjoy being a bastard, especially when OCD is involved. But I pulled them to within a half inch of each other and measured it for him. I was honest when I told him I couldn't guarantee they'd both stay that way when I started moving around during songs. If I hadn't walked away, he'd have volunteered to check them between songs.
But we can also talk about shorts. I was out of my mind when I could no longer purchase shorts. Every pair came down to my knees, like a skirt. I wanted no parts of them. But I had no choice. And then, just the other day, I saw women wearing 70s shorts. You know - the short shorts you picture roller skaters wearing around California on a nice day. *I* couldn't wear them, just out of decency, but maybe they will lead to men's shorts that don't drag on the ground.
The drummer was not the only OCD person I performed with.
The other one had a tuning problem. Between every song, he'd be looking down, tuning his guitar. I even caught him doing it in the middle of songs. Next time I hid his tuner, just to see what happened. The shaking and tears were just too much so I gave it back to him.
I have no idea what drives me to be a bastard around OCD. I have some internal sense that it's not right, but it's so much fun. When we go food shopping, Mrs. lefty puts the items on the belt and makes sure they're all facing the same direction. Naturally I sweep in behind her and turn them. I'm a bastard. But I don't do much else, even when it takes forever to get out of restaurants because she's taking all the cash and making sure the bills are lined up correctly, in the same direction. She loves me anyway, which is some sort of deep personal failing of hers.
- That he's not 241?
- That a 241 year sentence is impossible to serve?
- There's pr0n on the internet?
- That BlueTooth headphones make you look schizophrenic because you're talking to yourself?
- Sex Workers
I finally found a new laptop; an HP Omen. I had to take a chance it would work with linux. It turned out to be 95% compatible, except for keyboard backlighting that keeps changing colors. It doesn't bother me at all. I wish it had a number pad, which I somehow missed when looking at it. See the System76 and New Laptop page up top for details (if you care). The feeling of blowing away the Windows install made my month. Micro Center is the place to go for just about anything. It's Disney for geeks.
EMERGENCY. Know those extremely annoying commercials on tv, with all sorts of people saying you can get more than you did on regular old Medicare? I've warned against them, but this is the best reason of all: they can, by law, cut off your insurance. Even if you're dying. All legally. You can appeal all you want, but you have to pay in the meantime.
I often say we're a nation of morons. Just in case you don't believe me...
We have our best people working on how to end the drug problem. As with most things, we failed to look in our own backyard. According to President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, of Mexico, "lack of hugs caused fentanyl crisis." Can you believe it was right there all the time, and so simple? We need to pay closer attention to el presidente, Mr. Manuel Lopez Obrador. Last week he informed us that Mexico is safer than the US. Such nuggets of wisdom. Even after the cartel killed 2 people by mistake. Let's get President Giveaway to tell them their violence epidemic is due to them having too many names. It's good to have a first and last name. Maybe even a middle name. Some Mexicans take it too far, which obviously causes violence. Regardless, it would be pretty funny to see Mexico build a wall to keep the gringos out.
Bruce Willis's wife speaks of her grief at his dementia on his 68th birthday
Dearest Emma Hemming Willis,
Sympathies on your husband's condition. My mother is similarly affected.
Sympathies also on your role. You are mourning the loss of your husband in real time. You are taking on a massive burden, with the caretaking that exists and will come. As a veteran of similar situations, I strongly urge your to look after yourself. Firstly, there will be nothing left of you to help him if you don't. Secondly, you need this for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you taking a break. This is the hardest lesson to learn. Bruce will eventually have to be institutionalized, unless you can do 24/7 coverage and are willing to deal with all it entails. It's not just that... in addition to everything else, I'd hate to see you become a shell of yourself. You are in for a wild ride, very little of it pleasant. Live and love consciously, while you can. Maybe check out online or in-person groups with others in your situation. Although our situations are somewhat different, the basics are the same. Only you know what's best for you and your family.
Sincerely --- lefty
I don't have your phone number or email address, so obviously I can't call or write.
Best headline in months.
It is a completely unsubstantiated accusation, based upon a YouTube video. It is possible that it was a rumor started by far-right political groups.
Whatever is going on inside her body, to quote the Tubes, She's A Beauty.
Granted, that's France, but does this mean I can't say Hillary eats babies? Or will I just wind up coincidentally dead? Or that Cheney is teaching Satan some new tricks? It's all so confusing.
On the Planet of California, there exists a small area called San Francisco.
San Francisco's city-appointed reparations committee has the idea to give $5 million to every black person, plus other brilliant, air-sucking ideas. I'm not complaining: the Plant of California comes up with so many sanity-defying ideas as to keep Earth entertained for decades. In 100 years, people will read about California in history books, and be completely unable to make anything of it, aside from accusing teachers of putting them on. There will need to be a complete guide with the history books to give context to the Planet of California; how it decided to leave Earth and become its own planet, in its own universe. One conservative analyst estimated that each non-Black family in the city would have to pay at least $600,000.
Dear black people:
It tears my heart out that you were used in that heinous way.
I didn't do it, nor did my ancestors: we suffered persecution too.
As a result, I will not pay for the grievous sin of slavery. No human can own another human - it makes no sense, morally or otherwise.
My advice for everybody: be the best you can. Make your future, don't demand it.
And remember: Reparations for the left handed. We've been discriminated against since the dawn of time. We were called evil, punished, assaulted, and killed for having a different dominant hand. We suffer from ink stains, desks we can't use, more expensive guitars, and lots of other indignities. People are still superstitious about us. BURN HER - SHE'S A WITCH!! With the current president, we have the best chance of getting millions ever.
One would hope while she was still alive....
Rupert Murdock set to marry for fifth time at 92
"This time it's truly love"
Just this morning, there was news of commercial hacks, like Saks Fifth Avenue, Ferrari, the NBA and several others. There are many many cases of hacking that happened simply because the company did not patch their gear. IT Security needs to be on top of this, or at least allowed to be. The cost is way too high. Soon, insurers either won't cover it or jack the prices through the roof. The hacks are not all patch-related, but it's imperative that patches are applied - immediately.
More Republican Outrage!
Republicans Are Panicking Because They Somehow Just Found Out You Can Buy Vibrators at CVS
They better put together some laws to prevent people from privacy in their own homes. NOW!
The sad truth of this is that we'd all be better if Tucker Carlson and Marjorie Taylor Greene (mentioned in the article) used these toys. If they don't already, which is a fair bet.
Ok, I thought it would be funny once the republicans got into office - they'd give the democrats a taste of their own medicine. They're proving to be a largely un-funny lot. Vote libertarian. Or The Green Pen!
Naturally the Crazy Christians are at it again, but that's probably redundant.
Unfortunately, people will continue to get caught up in existing archaic, unconstitutional laws until they're repealed.
All Outrage
It appears as if there is finally some bipartisan support for something: national divorce.
Yeah, I had to look it up too. It's the idea that somehow the red states separate from the blue states.
Divide and Conquer has reached a whole new level. This is some sick stuff here. Could we put this back in the bottle and at least attempt to work together? Or just dump the 2 parties? For once, let's be too smart to let this happen.
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