Your love is like porcupine popsicles
Global cocaine production has reached record levels as demand rebounds following Covid lockdowns, a new report has found.
Isn't it great that at least one segment bounced back from The Flying AIDS?
We need a success story now and then.
Today I identify as a poisonous frog. Lick me.
- I don't really dislike people, I just prefer if they are somewhere else . -stev2244
Backup Lunch?
We know 'stuff happens' whenever it involves me and retail. Or online payments. Or trying to order things. It turns out this effect also applies when I'm not around(!)
Wife: I'll stop after my meeting and get you some lunch. What do you want?
Me: Just grab me some stuff you know I like.
Wife (from restaurant with Qdoba sign out front): What do you want to drink. Ok, let me push the buttons on the machine - don't hang up. No, they're completely out of Dr Pecker. How about iced tea-lemonade? Oh, wait, there's no lemonade.
Wife (outside restaurant): I don't know where they got the kid at the counter. Either he was never trained or he's just plain stupid.
Me: Why not both?
Wife: I can't vouch for your order. There's a Chik Filet next door. Do you want me to get you a backup lunch?
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we need Backup Food because we know the original food won't be right.
At Home
Wife: You wouldn't believe it. He called the manager over. She asked why. He said to watch him check the order out. The manager shook her head and walked off. I should have too.
Me: Well, it's partially open and it's spilling. Hmmm.... that's an awful lot of cheese. I don't like cheese.
Wife: [gasps]
Me (picking around in bowl): Have you noticed anything? Perhaps something missing. They didn't put the MEAT in the fscking BOWL.
Her: That's the first thing they ask you - which protein do you want.
Me: It's getting pretty bad. This happens everywhere.
Her: And it cost $20 for the wrong bowl and 2 drinks.
Me: Supply Chain Issues? Call them and tell them you have a small suggestion for improvement: put the MEAT in the bowl when the customer orders it. It's a bizarre concept, but maybe they'll be open to it.
Her: Did you try the sweet tea? I don't want to say it's sweet, but I took one sip and spit out my pancreas.
Me: We have inadvertently saved a lot of money. We keep crossing the incompetent restaurants off our list and don't have anywhere to eat. We'll have to stay home for every meal. The savings will be substantial. New guitar fund!
It just gets tiresome, ya know?
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The Musk Files - following the wacky weekly antics of a real American success story gone off the rails...
Yes, now your house can spontaneously combust - just like your car!
To be fair, it's the LI batteries, not Tesla.
Microsoft just laid off an ethics team.
FIRE AWAY! Oxymoron: Microsoft ethics.
It's been a banner week for nazis:
- Stanford University is investigating swastikas and an image of Hitler, drawn on a Jewish student's door.
[Stanford University's ranking in the 2022-2023 edition of Best Colleges is National Universities, #3] .
It was the latest of several reported acts of vandalism that included antisemitic symbols and language at Stanford this academic year. Our best and brightest!
Naturally it's a 'hate crime.' Because it's illegal to draw on and deface property, but more illegal to do it based on religion. The dummies should have just drawn random pictures and they would be ok.
UC Berkeley said there is no crime here and Jews are still not allowed on campus; along with Zionists, people with any sense, and anyone to the right of Bernie Sanders.
- Nazi salutes, pepper spray and pistols: Ohio drag event devolves into an extremist melee
Hundreds of protesters, including armed white supremacists, members of several extremist groups and LGBTQ community supporters descended on Wadsworth, Ohio, a small town outside Akron, for a drag queen storytelling show
Did you ever, in your wildest dreams, expect white supremacists and LGBTQ supporters to be drawn together? Such is the power of Drag Storytelling.
White supremacist protesters shouted "Heil Hitler" and made Nazi salutes outside the event
Old Adolph never knew how fondly (and often) he'd be remembered.
There are unconfirmed reports that some of the white supremacists were in back of a building, swapping spit with some of the men in drag. The supremacists said it was ok because the drag performers were white.
* Although no one has gone full nazi yet, Wellesley College is in a snit over whether or not to admit trans men. The endless permutations of college, SJWs, and sexists make this a really funny (and sad) story.
The referendum, which is nonbinding, asks whether admission should be open to all nonbinary and transgender applicants, including trans men. Currently, the college allows admission to anyone who lives and consistently identifies as a woman.
The referendum would also make the college’s communications more gender
inclusive — for example, using the word “students” or “alumni” instead of “women.” The new cheer is up in the air until this item has been settled.
5 6 7 8 Who do we hate?
Men! Trans men! Logic! Hitler! Trump!
CEO: Bailing Out Tech '1000000x More Important Than Defending Ukraine'
STOP. Hey. Wait. Hold on!
This is a story about corporate greed.
Let me give you the real answer: we have no business doing either. NO. MORE. BAILOUTS.
If you want to help bail out tech or Ukraine, by all means do so. Just don't use force on the rest of us.
Speaking of the Space Station, it will reach end of service in the 2030s. The problem is bringing it down safely, on which NASA will spend around $1 billion. The president asked if $1 billion was enough, and gave them a few more billion, just in case. If there is change, he told them to use it on anything but the Debt.
Experts are not concerned about the Russian parts of the Station, as they are expected to malfunction and fall away by themselves.They are currently ahead of schedule, with both sections leaking air.
NASA is consulting with Congress, Governors, and industry on where to bring the Station down safely. The current choices are Detroit, somewhere on the planet of California, or on the studio that does Americans Idle and The Masked Furry.
But NASA doesn't sit idle, no sir. They just revealed the new spacesuit for the anticipated moon landing. Unfortunately this has become a bit of a hot potato: Ru Paul designed the suit, which is said to be FABulous. Pointing out the rainbow flare, the astronauts say it's not necessary and would prefer the suits be designed for functionality, not flair. They're concerned about trivial little items, like keeping the air in the suit. Ru Paul's camp issued a one word statement: Racists. LGBTQ+ groups demanded new astronauts or no Moon landing. UC Berkeley said fine, so long as the astronauts aren't Jewish. Drag groups demanded at least one member, for the first ever Drag Storytelling Event on the Moon. The Pentagon said if we think the last time we bombed the Moon was bad, wait til they see THIS time. The entire state of Texas said it would turn out with automatic weapons if there was a Drag event on the Moon. The Anti-Defamation League called the mission 'antisemitic.' Louis Farrakahn and Jesse Jackson said that it was just another plot by the 'Hymies.'
It was unofficially called Project Catholic Tinder.
It was suggested they could pay less for storage by using an app to track priests that weren't gay.
When asked for comment, Monsignor Pope OohLaLa said it was a good thing they didn't have to pay for storage of the data on pedophile priests.
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