Your love is like a Bon Jovi love song
ouch
Russian interference in the election continues. Today, Piotr was caught reading a book titled "How to Hack an Election for Dummies".
Dear lefty
- How do you hack an election?
- very carefully.
- No, really. How?
- post on social media, where the Great Unwashed get all their election info.
While making a sandwich, a piece of turkey fell on the floor. So I figured it was the dog's. I broke it into pieces and threw them up in the air. Out of ten pieces, she caught approximately, just about, more or less, zero. This is the dog who can snatch a bird out of midair. Oh, I get it.... she's making us throw more treats, to see if she can catch them at all. To give her another chance... smart dog.
The British Army might scrap battle tanks for keyboard warriors.
The Ministry of Defence (MoD), not at all concerned about the Ministry of Spelling (MoS), knows they have to cut their budget (MoB). First on the chopping block may be their tanks. The MoD has consulted with many firms, with impressive sounding names, and come away with the conviction that they need something with 'Cyber' in it. All the other countries have a Cyber something or other and are laughing at them. One needs a Cyber something to be competitive in today's warring. Unfortunately, not everybody has gotten the message....
MAJOR: Sergeant, have the men line up with their tanks.
SERGEANT: Can't do, Sir.
What do you mean 'can't do'?
Well, Sir, funding has been diverted to Cyber-something, Sir.. Tanks are being cut, Sir.
Do you think this will come as a surprise to the tanks we had yesterday?
No, Sir. They were scrapped to make comfy chairs for the spotty-faced recruits in the new Cyber-something Brigade, Sir.
But Sergeant, how are we meant to win a war with no tanks? Are we going to lob Cyber-something Brigades at them?
No, Sir. I can't imagine them being very effective, even though the whining would be loud.
Well then what are we to do?
Well, Sir, the boys in the Cyber-something Brigade are going to hack into the enemy's computer systems.
Hack into their computer systems?
Yes, Sir.
You can't fight a proper war without tanks. When ISIS charges our position, how are we to defend ourselves - tricycles? Pointed sticks? Lob some blancmange at them to show we're serious?
So these Cyber-somethings. Do you mean to tell me a bunch of pimple-faced, overweight, junk food-addicted, massive multi-player online role-playing gamers, who think a gun exists only as a cartoon and spend all day playing with their joysticks, are the way forward? They will defend us from all evil, how?
Perhaps with their breath, Sir.
Why can't we be like the Yanks, where the military runs the damn place?
They get Cyber-something Brigades AND tanks. And their tanks have couches and the latest technology. They can hack the enemy from inside the tank, all while sipping a proper gin and tonic and contemplating the next version of the tank. They have helicopters that sneak up on you without a sound. Imagine ISIS shooting at us, when all of the sudden, this huge, black copter appears above them. They'll be calling for Allah as they go to meet him. With soiled pants. THIS is the way to run an army. How do they expect us to hack an islamist?
The Yanks also have a Space Brigade, so if ISIS attacks... they'll.... well... I don't know what they'll do, but dammit, they have a Space Brigade. I don't suppose our budget includes a Space Brigade, does it, Sergeant?
We'll have to contact the Ministry of Space Brigades (MoSB), Sir.
- Trump challenged Biden to a drug test before debate.
- This election cycle should be 'interesting'.
Goog wants to put Nest hubs in hotel rooms, so you can order Stuff, like towels. This should drive their 'monitors' crazy - imagine the goings-on they will listen to/monitor/spy on! People will volunteer for jobs! Then they can extort thousands by threatening to call the person's home and ask if Mrs Roberts was authorized on Mr Smith's hotel account and Visa card.
- I just got an alert on a meeting 5 weeks ago. Perhaps the company is involved in time travel and I just don't have a 'need to know'.
We have a new device at work and are undergoing setup. The industry must be an interesting one, as so far there have been three reps on the case. The fun part is that they're all named Jeffrey. The Equal Opportunity Commission will begin looking into whether or not the company is implementing a Diversity in Jeffreys program. This includes a Chief Jeffrey Diversity Officer (CJDO) and automatic termination for people who misspell it Jeffery.
The week in beauty?
The AT&T girl is becoming a celebrity and meme.
Welcome to the end of the internet.
Ex-Pr0n star Mia Khalifa is in a battle with former contract provider.
"...now a social media personality and sports commentator."What a demotion.
Although you have to admit that an ex-pr0n star who knows sports is like Disenyland to most men. Me, I'm less picky. She can be a current OR ex-pr0n star, and maybe she is a spokeswoman for the guitar industry. She can babysit me when Wife is off visiting for a few days. I see a win/win situation all around.
SJW Semantics
The NBA postponed three play-off games after the Milwaukee Bucks called off their participation in protest at the shooting of Jacob Blake. 3 MLB games were called off. 5 MLS matches have been postponed. This is a dream come true for people who watch tv and don't like sports! If only Congress went out in protest....
I wonder if any of these players are being docked per-game... just asking...
What this movement needs is a really bad, uniting song, like 'We Are the World'. Something that'll make the old colon try to exit via the nostrils... something that'll grow ear hair.... something to make you sneeze out your pancreas.
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