Do Not Throw the Bath Water Out with the Baby

Your love is like  a dirty diaper

If you notice it's a bit warmer, you have me to thank. Why? Because I have 1 outlet for the fan and heater. Since it's been so cold, I packed up the fan and put it away, therefore we got warm weather. You're welcome.

Next I will wash the car and make it rain. The power is awesome but I try to use it responsibly. 

Speaking of which, there are 2 things I don't understand: making the bed and washing the car... if you make the bed, you're just going to unmake it that night. If you wash the car, it's only going to get dirty again. Mrs lefty does not agree.

This doesn't necessarily apply to the inside of the car. The last time she cleaned it, I discovered we had a back seat. It turned out to be quite handy.

• If you live in any state that isn't Pennsylvania, you can go into a Target and purchase Skrewball Peanut Butter Whiskey.
• Idiot Governor: our forefathers did not fight and die so we couldn't purchase peanut butter whiskey in department stores. Shame.

Today I identify as  a Russian, warming up to interfere in the next election

• A good read, about trying to identify a dead guy, using the internet and whatever else they can. Particularly scary is the voluntary DNA database. RIP Mostly Harmless.

Work had another meeting today.

For the entire 7 years I've been there, work meetings have been productive. Some sort of magic dust was sprinkled and someone's firstborn was involved. 

Until these meetings.

There is something about Stupid that multiplies in groups, like with voters. After a while, Stupid becomes oppressive and tries to run the meeting, failing to even order coffee or donuts.

For those of you playing along at home, we had 27 people all together yesterday, with dead silence because nobody had a clue. This subsequently involved me, potato chip clips, and a certain sensitive part of my anatomy. Since we couldn't get anyone who knew anything on the call, we decided we'd get the experts today.

Naturally the experts weren't available today, so we got people even less able than yesterday's crowd. It's like dealing with the assistant chef, requesting the master chef, and getting the head dish washer. I knew it was going to be painful, and I am rarely disappointed. 

Everybody I work with has their work plan worked out: they say nothing, and largely do nothing. Since it is too physically painful for me to keep my mouth shut, I say Stuff. The secret to saying Stuff is to sound sure of yourself. This way the people who aren't saying anything say to themselves, "Boy he sounds like he has the answer. And this means I can continue to say nothing. Win/win." So I confidently asked questions that sounded confident. Even the people in charge took notice and applied my questions to the matter at hand. My boss also heard some of this, which sounded like I downright knew something. Or like he's just too mellow to tell me to STFU. He seems to think I know Stuff and even asks me questions about Stuff. Since we've established I know nothing, but I'm the only one who talks, I simply answer assertively. He's happy, I'm happy that he's happy, and he doesn't remember he knew all this stuff long before I was on the project.

Since Boss is unbelievably busy, we get Bob. Bob likes to have meetings. He schedules them for times when literally no one else can make them, like Sundays. Unfortunately, only California is on Sunday time when we're all on Friday time. Bob seriously likes meetings. Sometimes the next meeting invitation is in our inbox before the current meeting is through. I suspect Bob's salary is somehow tied to number of meetings, but as I said, I'm trying to keep those questions to myself. Instead I just ask him if he got any last night.

I let a nearly polite outburst out today, concerning Microsoft Teams and things it does wrong, or just plain doesn't do. I don't know if President Trump or the head of the corporation was in the room, but it got very quiet after the rant. On the bright side, I didn't use any chip clips.

Dear lefty  

• What's with all the counting in Philly?
• Well, studies have shown Philly can't count 
• What were those strange, hand-rolled cigarettes they were smoking?
• Nothing that was on the ballot - that's for sure 

 

My ear is having a hissy. Or that's what it sounds like. While I wait for the doctor to call me back, I effectively have one ear. With one ear, you can't tell where sound is coming from. Most importantly, I can ignore anything anyone says. Heh heh... Sorry - I didn't hear you (Dear).

Post-Election Libertarian Roundup

[burp]

WTF, d00dz?

Soooo demoralizing. No, I didn't expect to trounce both the megalomaniac and the senile dementoid, but our numbers....

I'm more agitated than yesterday. You know how I have this habit of speaking up and later discovering maybe I shouldn't have spoken up to that particular person because I didn't know he was Head Somethingorother or pregnant or something?   I kinda sorta let the head of the party know how I felt, almost partially by accident. It's not that my words weren't true.... I do a lot of verbalizing about the party, especially here. I know I converted all myo US readers to libertarians. [cough]. Plus my online outreach. You'd think I alone would have caused PA to go libertarian, instead of battleground. It occurs to me that I haven't taken my meds today. This is but one effect of not letting 3rd parties in the debates. The 2 existing parties work together here. Maybe Vermin Supreme was the right candidate.

• Coming to theaters (and hospitals) this holdiay season... the movie so dark, you thought it would never be made... it's Covid-20: Like 19 But One More.

I love when other countries have something to say.

Ok, no I don't.

Although, the lying Bottom-Wiping Bed-Wetting Iran Supreme Leader said "What a spectacle!" He said this from the nuclear weapons enrichment stockpile he doesn't  have. It's a shame he's not sitting close enough to the pile....

• How accurate are GPSes? I ask because Wife went to lunch and Restaurant is about 20' from shoe store. Do I even need a GPS?

Speaking of shopping by mail, we got another one of those weird calls from Hardly Quality Shopping Home Network, wondering if Mrs lefty was ok, because she didn't order anything yesterday or today. Penny hates the 6 days a week mailman, but stopped barking for UPS, if that's any indication. I picked up that I can't rush out of the house because there will be a few boxes on the top step and I don't fly down steps quite as well as I used to. 

I'm not as quick as I used to be either, so it took about a year to figure out the scheme: it all revolves around the phrase "I told you about that... it's for....". I told you about that, it's for Elvert's birthday, near Xmas. The first clue should have been that we know no one named Elvert. Last night I heard we're cutting way down on xmas gifts - mostly for the kids. I agree. Yet UPS still shows up every day.

I used to get boxes every day, waaaaay back when I thought I had a few spare dollars. I'd buy used guitar effects frequently, so they'd arrive almost daily. Apparently the plan was to sell the ones I wasn't crazy about. I was astounded that you could sell gear. I ... didn't know. It simply never occurred to me. So I think it's time to go shopping again, only this time with guitars.

• No, Honey, that's from the Guitar of the Month Club - I didn't order anything new
• if I order every guitar in black, maybe she won't be able to tell when I have a new black one...
• But I can't have a black one and not a blue one-it's like shoes
• blue is my favorite color, plus you can't buy any old top - you need curly maple. If you're going to do it, do it right
• Nah - that's an xmas gift for the boys - I told you about it.
• Yes, effects boxes are small, but I had the one I bought sent in a guitar-size package to protect it during shipping

I had a buddy who had an 'agreement' with his wife: he could buy a guitar or whatever he wanted, but she got the equal amount to spend on whatever she wanted. As a result, their house was empty - nobody bought a thing.

San Francisco, bastion of normalcy, just voted in a tax on highly-paid CEOs, who earn 100 times more than its average worker. It's time to leave the Peoples' Republic of San Francisco, if you haven't already. The Great Unwashed just decided it could randomly tax an employee because they didn't like how much he earned. In the America of old, CEOs could earn whatever they earned, without local interference. I don't personally like what some of these people make, but I shouldn't be allowed to enact a tax on them; they're private businesses. If I were a business, I'd get out of that place, right away, before they hear, "I think those people use too much toilet paper. We need to tax them."

Voting SJWs 

Exit polls point to the power of white patriarchy. Some people who have historically been oppressed will stand with their oppresssors.

Peak SJW Insanity?

The Witches star Anne Hathaway has promised to "do better" following the criticism the film has received for its portrayal of limb difference.  Comedian Alex Brooker and others with hand and arm impairments have accused the film of being insensitive towards disabled people.

Several of the next groups to begin screaming are people with hangnails, people too fat to sit in 1 airline chair, people without arm hair, people without nose hair, people whose nose hair cannot be braided, people whose dominant hand's nails grow too much faster than the other, the ambidextrous, people who like the smell of burnt popcorn, people who use turn signals (both of them), people who eat breakfast after 10:45, women whose breast cup size differs greater than 1 cup, men with 1 testicle, female children with no testicles who may one day identify as male, people with pencil lead allergies, men with small penises, 

Furthermore, all dead authors deemed to have written books with unfair references will be dug up and forced to rewrite their books. Lastly, nothing will be allowed to be funny if it has even the slightest appearance of targeting any person or group, per the Ministry of Fairness and All That Is Good.

• Interesting point on risk, touring, and bands by Frank Zappa