Your love is like a swim in vinegar
A Baltimore chief prosecutor asked the FCC to stop negative news coverage about her
Mommmmm.... he's making fun of me again!!!
We need to replace politicians, from the top down.
Two same-sex couples have formed as the Gentoo penguins go through their mating season at the Sea Life aquarium in London
- LGBTQ organizations accuse the aquarium of holding back some of the penguins so there won't be more same-sex couples
- approximately 3% of the RNC told their spouse they didn't know penguins wuz faggits
- all colleges in California went on strike
- the NFL will have every team 'take a penguin' before all games
- Black Lives Matter says it's racist
If you're going to Zoom into court, you should probably avoid the screen name 'BUTTFUCKER 3000' Judges are not known for their sense of humor.
If you attend Penn State, there's a small bulletin: they're canceling 'male-centric' 'junior' and 'senior' labels.
The resolution urges the university to change all written materials with the "junior/senior" label because it is "parallel to western male father-son naming conventions."
because books aren't expensive enough now
The resolution asserts that “terms such as ‘freshmen’ are decidedly male-specific, while terms such as ‘upperclassmen’ can be interpreted as both sexist and classist.” Terms such as “junior” and “senior” are supposedly “parallel to western male father-son naming conventions, and much of our written documentation uses he/she pronouns.”
The resolution also suggests departing “from the use of academic grouping titles that stem from a primarily male-centric academic history in course descriptions and degree program descriptions.” For instance, “freshman/sophomore/junior/senior” would be replaced with “first-year,” “second-year,” “third-year,” and “fourth-year.”
You'd hope there's a Department of Humor that grinds this hysterical stuff out, but no: it's the students and faculty. Here's the Penn State curriculum:
- Whining
- Protesting
- Rioting 1, Rioting 2
- Entitlement
- entry level sign-making
- BLM
- chaining doors
all for only $50,000 a year!
- Amazon, out of the news for 4 days, has jumped back in: they warned their employees not to trust their unionizing coworkers
- ...especially the ones making more money and getting better benefits... they're the worst
- also to keep peeing in bottles
So the pipeline got hacked.
What is the natural next step - hardening security, working around the hack?
No, people are panic-buying gas.
If the stations sell bread and milk, it would be a one-stop-shop when snow is forecast
- An unmasked airline passenger blew his nose into a blanket. The FAA has fined him $10,500
- When I was little, my mother used to tell me to blow my nose all the time. I have been vindicated!
- Speaking of which, psychologists say small bribes may help people build healthy habits
- they're referring to getting Indian children to wash their hands
Customers of Real (sex) Dolls are asking for a female angel doll, with wings and a halo
Using my libido and my imagination, I can't come up with a good use for wings and a halo
Oh.
Related? Flying AIDS found in penile tissue, may even lead to erectile dysfunction
- Hundreds in Orange County, California protest Flying AIDS vaccine passports: 'You're not going to brand us'
- In England, the National Health app got the go-ahead for vaccine passport, despite protests from privacy groups
- Speak now or your peace will forever be held
60 Minutes will be doing a story on UFO/UAP reality on Sunday 5/16.
let's see what they have to say...
In case you missed it, and how could you, it's Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage month.
Instead of feeling included, the two groups are up in arms because they each want their own month.
Meanwhile, the rest of us said, "Huh?" We needed to ponder this to figure out what Pacific Islanders are and do we know any. We know who Asians are - they're the people idiots are assaulting, thinking they're somehow responsible for the Flying AIDS. Are Pacific Islanders Hawaiians? Maybe they're Puerto Ricans... no... they're Mediterranean. They said geography was of real world use, even after we flunked it. I wish they would have taught us something useful, like balancing a checkbook and the importance of not reproducing. Critical thinking would have been the most needed course, but the Masked Furry is on tv and we're out of beer. HONEY.... you need to do a beer run. What do you mean 'I can do it myself?' That's pretty selfish after I personally finished the leftover pizza you needed for the smoothies. I was doing everybody a great service. Speaking of service..... tonight? After Masked Furry? I have a big bottle of aspirin in case you develop a sudden headache. I'm really drawn to that pimple on your cheek - will you pop it please? I can barely hear a word you say. I don't care if it hasn't formed a head yet - go after it with a surgical knife, if necessary. Jee-Bus, at least put a bandaid on it or something - it makes more noise than a week of television commercials about Medicare. So maybe next year there will be an Asian Heritage month and a Pacific Island Heritage month, at which point we'll remember we figured this all out and can't remember a damn thing now...
The problem, and there are many, with Asian jokes is that I just discovered a few Asians in my family (they tried to blend in). This is going to put a crimp in the hilarity, while I find an unrepresented minority. Maybe they can tell me some good Asian jokes. They can all drive, so there goes those jokes. My favorite are the American jokes, but I can't get people to tell me many because they're too nice. Most of them involve Americans only knowing one language. The joke's on them, as most of our paperwork and some of our street signs are in Spanish. That's two languages, even by the American counting system. But I can't get any other jokes out of them, and that one wasn't very funny.
Apparently there's an Asian hierarchy, according to an ex-coworker. He said Japanese and Chinese were up top, with Thai and Cambodian at the very bottom. He was Cambodian. He said there's nothing lower in the world than a Cambodian hooker. I have to admit a certain jealousy of this guy, because he could bring an entire room to a shocked silence faster than me. It was difficult to give up my crown. In the end, I won, because the boss said that out of all the people he ever managed, I scared him the most. I still get tingles thinking about it. Wait... .give me a minute... I forgot to put that on my resume....
How do you perform a testicular exam on a birthing-person? #wokemedpearls. Daunting right? The lack of a scrotum and testes, however, should not dissuade you from performing this exam.
----Twitter
Today I identify as a female. Check my vagina, dammit!
When I think about it, I am way behind the rest of the country because I am not offended by anything. I wish to announce, henceforth and hitherto, that I am offended by houndstooth. Mortally offended. And nauseated. Prepare the lawsuits!
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