Your love is like "War and Peace" in one evening
The good news: China's Mars Rover is now operational
The bad news: it is causing a horrible traffic jam because it goes way under the speed limit and frequently stops for no apparent reason. The US Rover has lodged a formal protest.
If you're a drug dealer in Liverpool, using the EncroChat program, stay away from Stilton cheese. Fingerprints in a picture of Stilton were used to identify the dealer. If he had gone to Monty Python's cheese shop, this wouldn't have been a problem.
You get a better understanding of hierarchies when you look at something like facial recognition. It has proven racist, yet is still in use everywhere. Racist: yes. Surveillance State: yes. Surveillance State wins (every time).
- Texas legislators have passed a bill which would allow most people to carry concealed handguns without a permit.
- in other words, they have become Constitutional. You were guaranteed the right to keep and bear arms before the Constitution - the Second Amendment codified it. Gun control goes against #2A.
- next up: pets, cars, etc.
Anthony Fauci testified it would have been “almost a dereliction of our duty” if the National Institutes of Health had not worked with China to study coronaviruses as he defended NIH money going to fund “collaboration” with “very respectable Chinese scientists.”Fauci and Francis Collins, the leader of the National Institutes of Health, are adamant in insisting that NIH did not fund "gain-of-function" research at the Wuhan lab. But Fauci and Collins also admit they don’t actually know what the secretive Chinese lab has been up to.
Ummmm......
Houston, I think we have a problem. And a candidate for nailing to a cross.
Watch how Congress works. Elon Musk's space company wins a NASA award. Then Congress funds a backdoor award for Jeff Bezos' space company.
It's your money.
Walmart sent a ton of racist registration emails the other day.
"Welcome to Walmart, Ni**er"
Walmart naturally has no idea how the emails went out.
Well, the outside street ripping-up/noise project has moved away (I think). There has not been a peep since yesterday, when I finished work. If that ain't personal, what is? Per signs, there are no cars parked on the street. There were two down the block, but the construction guys drove up with one of those huge Magnet Trucks, stuck it to the car, and moved it to the owner's roof. The second one got attached to a different truck, which repeatedly dropped it on the ground. They discovered it didn't make nearly enough noise, so they went back to the original Noise Truck, which literally shook houses.
Meanwhile, my car, and everything else, is so covered by pollen, it looks bright green. My trashcans look bright green. If she sits in the yard too long, the dog looks bright green. My #1 guitar is a sickly shade of green, but it's supposed to be that way. I call it Pukeburst. It could be the ugliest stock guitar finish on the planet, which is how it captured my heart.
The picture is horrible and there's no light. The finish is horrible regardless.
If you lived through the 70s, or know somebody who did, the 2 colors are avocado green and harvest gold. Your appliances were one of these colors in the 70s. The actual name of the finish is antigua, but who wouldn't prefer Pukeburst?
Most everything else is black, because it is The Law. Amps and guitars. Black. If they were near windows, they'd be pollen green too.
I don't like to complain about summer weather, because it could be winter weather, which I despise. Where are spring and autumn? Idiot Governor had them banished, along with the state economy. They barely exist anyway. Gloom is about 300 days per year, all seasons. Humidity is deathly in the summer. In the winter, we either get snow or no snow at all. The only reason we stay here is our favorite pizza place won't open a branch in the Southwest anywhere. One doesn't want to be stuck in the land of low humidity without one's favorite pizza. Low humidity is lovely, but you're not going to find it in the east. I have actually seen paper wilt in the summer, when it was 92 degrees with 92% humidity. If you go south, you get humidity and hurricanes that make the news. I dunno about you, but I don't want to keep track of the next weird hurricane name.
I was just advised that Jeffrey Epstein's cell guards admitted they were sleeping instead of guarding.
So that's 2 lies.
SUPERVISOR: So how did Jeffrey Epstein wind up dead on our watch?
GUARD1: we were guarding, but the cameras went out for 5 minutes. Just like Lady Diana's, in that tunnel.
GUARD2: nah, be fair, we were napping. Epstein hung himself then slit his throat.
GUARD1: No, it's wasn't like that, I swear. We were napping and someone lifted the keys.
GUARD2: Yeah, that's it. We sleep soundly, so they could have stolen an entire desk and we would've slept through it.
GUARD1: Yeah, they stole the keys and gave Epstein a heart attack, THEN he strangled himself.
SUPERVISOR: there wasn't anything in his cell to strangle himself with.
GUARD1: about that.....
GUARD2: we might have forgot and left a bunch of belts and tubing in a box, next to his bunk.
GUARD1: Oh yeah, the Suicide Box. I think it had blades too. Maybe some pills.
SUPERVISOR: you idiots! Why was the Suicide Box in Epstein's cell?
GUARD2: Uhhh... napping again, Sir.
SUPERVISOR: You guys sure nap a lot.
GUARD1: That's not true. We only nap at work.
SUPERVISOR: Is there anything else... any other tiny detail you might have forgotten?
GUARD1: Well... the unlocked medicine box
GUARD2: and the gun cabinet
GUARD1: the open cell doors
GUARD2: the visitors
SUPERVISOR: What visitors?
GUARD2: Any visitors.
GUARD1: Yeah, we don't discriminate. We're not that kind of prison.
SUPERVISOR: So anybody could walk in, grab some pills, pick up a gun, get some strangling tools, and walk into any cell they want.
GUARD1: Yeah, that's about it.
GUARD2: Phew... it's a good thing we didn't put Epstein at any risk.
GUARD1: Yeah, that woulda been really bad.
Idiots in Space!
Discovery TV is setting up a reality show for the International Space Station
It was inevitable. It turns out the US is not conquering space for military superiority - it's for more reality tv shows. Can you imagine the one on Mars? Here are some topics for the ISS:
- these are my dirty diapers from liftoff
- I think Betty got a better seat than me - NASA likes her best
- we wanted to do it in a closet, but there are no closets
- can't I get some privacy up in this jawn?
- the pilot is racist because I saw some stuff he posted 20 years ago on a bulletin board
- NOW I find out there are no facilities for trans women...
- I want the camera exclusively on me, but it keeps flying away
- In a first, neutrinos were caught interacting at the Large Hadron Collector
- they were given a strict lecture and provided with condoms
From the We Have Too Much Time on Our Hands and Think a Lot of Ourselves department:
French films show far too much smoking, campaigners say.- Scientists induced hallucinations in mice to learn more about human psychosis
- after the study, the mice kept following the scientists around, looking for more
- a secret study was done on people, with the most psychotic subjects going to Congress
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| the photographer is Linda Eastman, before she was Linda McCartney |
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