Your love is like eating peanut oil with a peanut allergy
So I had to get my work ID badge because mine was expiring.
Normally this would require no more effort than going to the Badge Room.
Not anymore, buster.
In the name of efficiency and cost-cutting, you have to go somewhere else. I have no idea whose costs were cut, but I know it wasn't mine. I mean you literally walk up to the Badge Room and get a new badge. I had to go online and select a location to get my badge. Every location was downtown. I hate downtown. Philly likes to think it's New York: $25 to park for an hour or two. Random rolling street closures. Random lane changes. The only thing you can count on is traffic. Ok, traffic and asshole drivers. They kept following me, speeding recklessly in front of me, then cutting one car out to be the first one at the next red light. You want to hope he crashes into a building or something, but realize that if he does, it's only going to create more traffic and make you late.
You also can't get there from here in Philly. The streets, or the streets you need to use, are all one way, always the opposite way. So simply turning around requires 6 city blocks and a tank of gas. You might have to scrape some pedestrians or bikers off the hood too, but they're not worth many points.
From being downtown, I remembered it's the best place in the state to see beautiful women. Apparently they found out I was coming and stayed home. But I was told there were a few guys checking me out. This does not interest me, but at least they weren't staring like I was a piece of meat. I need to find the website "How To Make Yourself Less Appealing to Gay Men."
The security guard at building I went to said I needed to go in the side entrance. I would have known this had somebody told me. No, not the door that said New Badge Building.. the next door. Then I missed the sheet of paper passing for a sign that said Badge Room. It pointed to Probation Center or something like that. To the best of my knowledge, I'm not on probation or it expired or they dropped the charges - I forget which. They had quite the number of hallways, once in the probation center, so it was anybody's guess. Yes, I had a room number, but due to some sort of Business Beautification Project, they had removed all the numbers from all the rooms.
By luck (and a $20 bill), I found the right room. The nice lady told me this wasn't the right place - they don't do badges for my company. My right eye slowly started sliding around to look at my left eye, and I asked her why they sent me to this office then. She thought about it for a while, I pulled out my last $20 bill, and she remembered they did do badges for my company. Naturally there's a law stating pictures cannot have certain things in view, so I had to spend 20 minutes unbraiding my nose hair. I'll bet those earrings about the size of a quarter are FINE, though. When they get tired of being so hip, they have to get plastic surgery to get their earlobes fixed (unless they use them as another orifice during sex). She took my picture and wished me well.
Oh.
Would she be giving me my badge?
No.
Would somebody be calling me about it?
Maybe.
Should I call someone?
Yeah, call IT.
I am IT.
Oh. Call someone in H/R. Maybe H/R IT.
You're sure you can't just slip and give me a badge? I won't tell anybody. I'll find another $20 bill somewhere....
Sorry.
Have a nice day, ma'am.
Lunchtime! No attractive women, but food. A shredded chicken sandwich. Apparently the waitress heard me say, "I'd like a shredded chicken sandwich - really salty, please," because that's what I got. The fries were salty. Even the Coke was salty.
The last time I ate downtown, I located a cajun place. I ordered blackened something or other, and that's exactly what I got. When you blacken something, it involves a lot of spice. Blackened at this restaurant meant 'overcooked on the grill, possibly caught on fire.' So we're zero for two.
When I got back to work, I let my 'people' know what happened, so they'd be aware for other people.
"You mean they didn't just give you your badge?"
No.
7 phone calls later, I have our Best and Brightest working on it. Our best and brightest has pink cotton candy hair, a nose ring, and her parents were brother and sister. But she's really nice and tends to come through when needed. She's off next week, getting a plate put through her mouth, like the Zambizi tribe of Southern Namab... Namibia.. New Jersey.
Several hours later, pink hair called me back. We went over how I made my appointment yesterday. I started to get seasick and knew what was coming. They were going to call me, soon (?), and tell me the badge was in. I will have to go back downtown, where I told you the parking is $25, and pick up the badge. There is simply no way they can squeeze all this heinous activity into one visit, no sir. One must take the better part of two days off work to get the badge so you can work. The people who run this peanut farm must have been in the armed services. DIG THAT HOLE. FILL IT UP. MOVE IT.
I will avoid the shredded chicken and go straight for the ice cream.
Today I identify as your guardian angel
The gov't report on UFO/UAPs has been seen by some press but not actual people.
The big, exciting reveal, that was going to spell DISCLOSURE, essentially says that the objects on film are real and not ours. That's all, folks! They can't rule out that it might be alien. That's the result of the order to produce information on UAPs.
This means that I was right. Or that I was wrong. Both.
I called it a psyop. But in order for it to be a psyop, there would have to be some decent chunks of information in the report. Instead, the report says, "A-yup, there's sure something flying around up there." This is a one percent increase in what we already officially know. It's also a huge joke played on citizens of the planet, who were looking for, and are entitled to, some truth. Aren't you entitled to the truth? I sure as hell am. If you don't think so, watch some The Masked Furry while the rest of us deal with reality.
One clue that we were getting nothing was the 'out' given the letter agencies: a report on unclassified information. In essence, tell us what you've already told us. Maybe admit there were a few head scratchers. That's it.
There were 3 or 4 official explanations for Roswell. What we're about to get is just an extension of that governmental obfuscation, by people who feel they know better than you what you should know. And don't forget about the ultra religious Pentagonners, who don't want to deal with UFOs because they think they're demons.
- The Bad News: US troops accidentally raid sunflower oil factory
- The Good News: they didn't shoot any dogs
As a society, we tend to emphasize the negative, especially in the news
Here you have two adorable little Utah girls, 4 and 9, who wanted to swim in the ocean. They were bright enough to know that the ocean was in California, so they took Mom's Malibu and drove there. They even wore their seatbelts. They were doing fine until they hit the truck. Traffic reports say they drove better than any other traffic on the road. Everybody was fine. What a nice, family-oriented story.
UF Health Florida got hit with a ransomware attack and was forced to go back to pen and paper. The accountants were stunned to discover that the cost of bringing in consultants to teach the employees pen and paper was higher than the ransom itself.
Google's HR department should probably spend more time vetting their hires.
The 'Diversity Strategic Lead' was removed from his job after it was discovered he said Jews have an 'insatiable appetite for war'. Not satisfied with Jews, he also said he 'despised homosexuality.' Stay tuned - Las Vegas has odds on blacks next.
NYPD’s Sprawling Facial Recognition System Now Has More Than 15,000 Cameras
The only question here is will people be more outraged due to the spying or that the cameras are concentrated in predominately black and brown neighborhoods.
Here's another family story. You have to wonder about a loony who says to stop the plane, though. When you stop a plane, it tends to go into a mode pilots call Plummet, which doesn't generally work out well for passengers and crew.,
After 9-11, the airlines started putting armed officers on planes. I think Delta just proved that crowdsourcing security is very effective and costs nothing.
A US District Judge in San Diego overturned California's ban on 'assault weapons.'
California: even a broken clock is right twice a day
An 86 year old sugar worker shot and killed his boss after he was fired.
I told you sugar was addictive....
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