The Stove is so Clean You Can Cook on It

 Your love is like  a failed attempt at boom boom

Xi Jinping calls for more 'loveable' image for China in bid to make friends

He's got a point. Some of the new slogans:

1. China, where we lovably release viruses to infect everyone on the planet
2. Where anyone who disagrees gets lovably transported to our lovable facilities
3. We're wacky and lovable - try us!
4. We're on Mars too!
5. Where the press lovably prints what it's told to (kinda like the US)
6. making communism lovable

Today I identify as  the dirt that keeps reappearing on your laptop or keyboard that you can't identify, yet it comes back all the time. You don't have anything with bright green sparkles, but your computer does.

Sparkles are deadly anyway. As soon as anything with sparkles appears, sparkles will be all over your house and your body. There is no escaping it. You wake up one morning and discover there's a lone sparkle on your genitals. Then they get in the wash and you now have sparkles over ever item you wash. We have crafting sparkles. We have makeup sparkles. The reason I stay at my current job is that I can't interview in a suit with sparkles all over it.

The World Health Organization (WHO) has been successfully sued by the Who, and will have to change its initials. Original member Pete Townshend said, "It was a nasty assertion. The WHO is wrong 100% of the time. The Who is wrong only 50% of the time." Long Live Rock!

In order to avoid "stigmatising labels," the WHO will name Flying AIDS variants by the Greek alphabet (Alpha, Gamma, etc). This will last until the Greeks have a fit.

• Here’s what we know about the risks of serious side effects of Flying AIDS vaccines

How a Young Joe Biden Became the Architect of the Government's Asset Forfeiture Program

One of the many reasons he should never have been elected. The govt can take your car if they find drugs. And your house. Is that ok with you?

• How Harry Reid, a Terrorist Interrogator and the Singer From Blink-182 Took UFOs Mainstream

Amazon "Alexa will never record your conversations" has changed from mandatory arbitration to regular old lawsuits because they're swamped with arbitration cases because "Alexa records you".  I think I already did a Told You So on this.

• When Charlie Chaplin entered a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest in 1920, he came in 20th

My best friend had a 'conversation' with his wife the other day....

HER: You should really eat more greens, just sayin

HIM: I don't like greens

HER: Yeah, but I'm just sayin

HIM: well will you STOP sayin?

HER: Why don't you gas up my car?

HIM: Because I don't drive it?

HER: Well, it would be nice if you did once in a while.

HIM: Drive the car or fill it up?

HER: dinner tonight is frozen tv dinners

• it's Pride Month. I'm going to go ahead and assume that's LGBTQ Pride Month.
• Still no left handed history pride month.
• We need lobbyists. Right after we figure out who to lobby.

There's a lot of hoo-ha over political parties supporting and not supporting LGBTQ rights. 

Once again, I want to recommend the libertarian party, where LGBTQ rights are human rights. We've been supporting them for as long as there's been a party. Same for black lives. They're all human rights.

I use a plastic bag as my trashcan in my office. Not only does it take up less space and create less of a trip hazard, but it throws right away. Great, functional idea. Sorta. Because then I have to remember to bring another bag back in after I throw away the full one. And I never remember to bring back an empty one. I realize this each time I have to throw something out, and promptly forget it. I could get up right at the moment and get a bag, but while I'm in the office, the Bag Repository feels like it's 1,000 miles away, in the frozen tundra of North Dakota. It's like getting off the couch to find the remote control for the tv. You wind up sitting there, watching Farm Report, because it's less trouble than getting up.

I have to get my ID card renewed at work.

This is a no-brainer at any company. 

Not my employer.

We had to fill out paperwork. When I went to check on status, they had asked for an external phone number, which was optional and I didn't bother with. That was the number they were going to call me on, but they wanted to make it a surprise, so they didn't tell me.

So I asked H/R. My 2nd mistake.

They told me I had to locate and make an appointment with an ID Center.

This is a flipping ID card, not a White House security pass.

Of course I'd have to find an ID Center, because doing the ID Center work in the damn building would be too easy.

There are no centers within 10 miles of my house.

There are centers within 15 miles of my house, but in an effort to diversify,  every one of them is Downtown (Center City).  I enjoy being Downtown just slightly more than dentistry. To make things more interesting, I have only a few days, because I started the process 6 weeks ago.

Did I suddenly start working for the gov't without knowing it?

QUICK REVIEWS:

• Xubuntu 21.04: it runs
• Marshall CODE 25 amp: it turns on, stock sounds lacking

My work iDevice informed me that it had failed to update and there were 347 notices.

As we know, I know fsck-all about iDevices and I care even less.

So I sit there and observe as I set the update off. It finishes without a peep.

Either my iDevice is insecure and can't update without being watched, or it's an exhibitionist and likes to be watched. Bloody neurotic device.

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