Your love is like juggling scalpels
They're not kidding about the major oops with software. Click for a running list of what's been affected and what they suggest.
Today I identify as a No Parking sign
Reminder to contribute to Team Western Kentucky Tornado Relief Fund. It's an official fund and tax deductible.
Credit where it's due: the helicopter we sent to Mars is still flying, beyond its expected date, like the Rover. When was the last time America built something that lasted past its expected date?
- Toyota models 2018 or newer will need a subscription in order for the key fob to support remote start functionality.
- it was also going to charge for turn signalling, but nobody uses those things...
- No, seriously?
- We had remote start on a few older cars. It was nice. Now remote start goes to The Cloud and back down to your car to start it. Unacceptable here.
See Something, Say Something.
Nah, we're just kidding. You'll wind up in jail
- Stanford Professor Garry Nolan Is Analyzing Anomalous Materials From UFO Crashes
- But... no... no... there are no UFOs, so we don't have any debris from UFO crashes......
- uh-oh... somebody's been lying to us.
Is it possible that lefty isn't the crazy conspiracy theorist he appears to be?
Of course, in the immediate wake of the tornado, people want to know if it is related to climate change.
Flying AIDS News
Stripped of power, Missouri health depts abandon COVID health measures
Amid violent threats, lawmaker ditches bill to make unvaxxed pay hospital bills
Covid: PM faces big rebellion as MPs vote on new restrictions
NYT Admits Merck’s Covid Drug Could Mutate DNA, Cause Cancer & Damage Male Fertility
In 2021, COVID-19 vaccines were put to the test. Here’s what we learned
Covid: Omicron spreading at unprecedented rate, WHO says
Covid pass starts in England despite biggest rebellion of Johnson era
Omicron is rising rapidly in the US—3% of cases nationally, 13% in NY and NJ
It's been weeks since I was forced to get a Flying AIDS injection.
I feel pretty good.
- The third arm has not proven useful for guitar playing - it doesn't learn well. I suspect it's 'special'
- The facial hair on my forehead, spelling Flying AIDS protected, just makes people point and laugh (moreso).
- I can no longer sing, as half of my mouth droops. Some would argue I couldn't sing in the first place.
- I can't breathe through the second nose, nor urinate through the second penis. Nor does Wife find either of them useful.
I would like to be found in contempt of Congress.
After all, Congress has been in contempt of the citizens forever.
- Honda wants to use connected cars to identify hazardous road conditions
- What could possibly go wrong? Connected cars.
Deep Thoughts - by lefty
- how do nudists feel about crossdressers?
Tony Iommi, Black Sabbath's lefty guitarist, now has a fragrance.
This is really too much. We sat through different singers and Ozzy's tv show, but a fragrance?
The only question, aside from how much he's making on it, is what does it smell like....
- guitar strings
- the heat of vacuum tubes in amps
- groupies
- Gwynyth Paltrow's vagina (candle)
If you have an Alexa, and you shouldn't, you need to turn off package notifications, or everyone will know what you ordered when it arrives.
Hey Mom... what's a personal massager?
- the dog is now hiding her treats. Normal dogs eat or bury. She's now hiding them in my office. I don't know why. But I'm trying to become complacent in my position as ringmaster of this 7 ring circus.
- she will take a piece of bread, carry it around for 2 days. like a prize, then maybe eat it.
I knew it was coming, I forecasted it. A German employee, working from home, slipped and broke his back on the "commute" from his bed to the home office, and it has been deemed a workplace accident.
Personally, I have to watch out for dog toys on the steps.
I pick on Elon Musk because of the Tesla. But check out what he had to say in 2020:
This notion that you can send checks out to everybody and things will be fine is just not true.
Some people have this absurd view that the economy is like some magic horn of plenty; It just makes stuff. Goods and services? They just come from this magic horn of plenty.
So, if somebody has more stuff than somebody else it is just because they took more from this magic horn of plenty.
Let me break it to the fools out there: If you don’t make stuff, there is no stuff.
We’ve become detached from reality. You can’t just legislate money and solve these things. If you don’t make the stuff, there is no stuff... Obviously.
He's right. Right?
So morning was way too early when I started up the computers for work.
My system's HDMI connector bit the big one. The local Yellow Sign Place didn't have the cord I needed, but did have a cheap hub. That completely refused to function, much like the store.
Then I noticed the second monitor on the work system was much more black than I prefer, in the way it was totally and completely black. The system still recognized it, though.
I thought perhaps the systems would come to a gentleman's agreement to fully operate if I left the office and sat with Wife, who was naturally watching one of those Judge Obnoxious shows. "Mr. Smith-Oowawa, the baby is...... [commercial]..... the baby is.....[envelope rattle]..... YOURS."
As it turns out, the computer systems continued to mock me by remaining in a largely broken state. Just for fun, I substituted another VGA cord and HELLELEUJAH(!) - it worked! And when I say worked, I saw stuff on the screen. And when I say I saw stuff on the screen, it was pretty much all blue. What are the odds I'd pick up yet another funky cord? In my house, almost even.
But I just don't have the heart or energy to find a third video cable, so the screen will be blue until after my fourth cup of coffee or I go blind from Overblue Syndrome. I ordered a video cord for the other system, next day. As things go, I just don't have much hope it will arrive, next day or forever.
What I did see is a tree ornament with 2021, but the 1 is the middle finger of the Grinch. I ordered a bunch of them for the family.
To put a period on this verbal explosion, Wife tells me I was singing a Joe Cocker song, in my sleep, at 5am. I've always entertained in my sleep, but this is the first time we could figure out what I said. I know you're consumed with quizzicality.. it was The Letter (my baby, she wrote me a letter). So now that we spent actual time on figuring this out, I can finally call the doctors to reveal one of the noises I made while asleep. What in the universe could it mean? That I like to sing Joe Cocker? That I need to send a letter? That I'm not getting enough (live performing or the other thing)? Well, that's what we pay the doctors for. It's good that I sing Joe Cocker - it proves I have good taste. I hope it proved I can sing it well... I'm not known for my singing. Or the other thing.
Dear Microsoft Teams:
There's no reason to bing and boing me to death about the meeting I'm IN. Yes, I know someone commented - I'm looking at it. Sometimes I can't mute it.
I am glad, however, you chose to implement my suggestion to put a timer on the status, so you don't have to remember to set your status back after lunch and look like you're away the entire rest of the day. Do I get an Suggestion Fee for that?
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