My Ear Hair Hurts

Remember: cake is merely a delivery system for the icing. Cut out the middleman and just eat icing. You can buy it in a can or make it yourself. Grab a spoon and dig in.


Your love is like  an icepick to the kidney


I don't know about you, but if I lived in Indiana and anyone called me a hoosier, I'd run them over with a chainsaw.



Dear lefty

• Why do you have a mock advice column in your blog?
• Why are your questions always so stupid?

I just spent over 30 highly unsatisfying minutes with my best friend, Windows 10.
These were 30 minutes I wasn't in work, because the computer didn't want to connect to work. Then the 20 minute reboot, then the DNS-blindness, then the refusal to 'see' hardware that it saw perfectly 20 minutes ago, then another reboot. When it finally came up, Outlook once again came up full screen, even though I never use it full screen and have tried many suggestions on how to fix it. I'd replace the box with linux, but I'd have to get a signed note from God himself before my boss would consider it.

Windows: it's not an operating system, it's a virus.



Flying AIDS news

Headline: Everywhere
It's bad. It's going to get worse, unless you follow rules or get a shot or...
This will be the worst [insert period of time] ever.

There is a humongous list of things we may not do because of the Flying AIDS, yet children should go back to school. What's wrong with this picture?

Florida, never gone from the news long, reports that Chinese masks are showing up at many addresses, unsolicited. I guess the Chinese got bored of sending packets of seeds. Odd people, those Chinese. What does this say about Chinese Floridians?

The head of the Department of Natural Resources is telling employees to wear face masks on teleconferences — even when they’re not around others and at no risk of spreading the coronavirus.  Mrs lefty says, "Well, they're certainly drinking the Kool Aid."  In unrelated news, the Department of Natural Resources told its employees to wear condoms 24 hours per day, whether or not they're getting laid.

Hey, if you're in the mood to go back to the movies, you can get 15 cent tickets AMC. Hmmm.... 15 cent tickets... chance of Flying AIDS..... let's get a busload to go!

• speaking of teleconferences, please don't use Zoom. Zoom's privacy issues are all over the press, yet people keep using it. If someone asks you to use Zoom, explain to them that it's a real privacy and malware issue. There are alternatives.

Trumpie

• Trump unloads on ‘stone cold crazy’ Pelosi, ‘mad woman’ Kamala, ‘poor student’ AOC
• for all his faults, and there are many, he sure is entertaining sometimes

I joke that if Trump produced peace in the middle east, people would deny it and use it as grounds for impeachment. I'm a little shocked to read that Israel and the United Arab Emirates have reached a peace deal, which Trump helped broker. Good on all parties!  Oddly, the Palestinians are not pleased, referring to it as treason (which is why there will never be total peace in the middle east).

A man killed himself, allegedly because his wife wouldn't have sex with him.
"You can SUE for that?" you say.
This happened in India, where the decedent's mother is suing the wife for "abetment to suicide."
Although the US has the best and most litigious litigators in the tri-galaxy area, even they couldn't get much past failure to consumate.


Hollywood's Biggest Secret
Ok, Hollywood's Second Biggest Secret
It's Ed Begley, Jr.
You've seen him in black and white movies, current movies, older movies, and he Does. Not. Age.

• In Egypt, archaeologists have unearthed hieroglyphs depicting pharaohs with huge headgear, who look suspiciously like Ed Begley, Jr.
• In the Wild West, Ed Begley, Jr's saddles were #1 and his face was etched on the saddle. His motto was "Buy an Ed Begley, Jr saddle and sit on Ed's face!"
• In a recent inspection of a 1917 Ford Model T, there was a picture of Ed in the glove compartment.
• In the rubble of the Twin Towers, there were cases and cases of Ed Begley, Jr brand thermite: "Have a blow up on Ed!"
• Records indicate there was no Ed Begley, Sr.

Did you delete anything on Instagram?
It's supposed to take up 90 days. Turns out it might have kept things for more than a year.  I hate to say this again, but don't post anything online that you wouldn't post in the local library or give to your grandparents. Assume that when you post something, even privately, it's available for public view, or at least view by the employees of the service.



Department of Justice says Yale discriminates against whites and Asians


SJWs Worldwide

India, Jamaica, and Canada are also celebrating Kamala Harris' appointment, largely for the same reasons the democrats are: she's black, female, lived in Canada, and has Indian roots. In other words, India, Jamaica, and Canada are every bit as shallow and dim as America.


LA Times: Camping is often called America's favorite outdoor activity. But camping and national parks have a complicated past when it comes to racial equality and equal access for all. One modern barrier to entry: the cost of camping gear. Yes, camping is racist.