Your love is like a cd that skips
Checking the online sales pages reminds me that I want a Bluetooth wireless speaker. The thing is, I don't know why I want one. I don't think I've ever had a use for it. I just want one. This gets me in enough trouble with guitar toys. I think it's hereditary; my dad used to get something in his head that he needed and would obsess over it hourly. Sometimes we'd buy it for him because it was the most painless way. When he passed, we inherited watch repair kits, books on hamster healing, and several vibrating things we couldn't identify that Mom (hopefully) didn't know about.
Know what else I want? I want to buy stuff that doesn't have a lower case 'i' in front of it. I saw an iPet, iHome, and iRhinocerous. I'd understand if it had something to do with an Apple device, but a desk vacuum doesn't. Even if it's a Bluetooth vacuum. Perhaps I should open a Not iStore, selling products without an 'i' in front of them. It would be approximately as successful as Ned Flanders' Leftorium, which I would gladly have visited. Go ahead- find a brick and mortar left hand store... I dare you. There used to be one on a pier in San Francisco. You could purchase everything from left handed bumper stickers ($20) to left handed rulers ($3 per inch), left handed measuring cups ($49.99), and left handed spiral notebooks ($99.95, 2 for $299.95). Eons ago, when I was in desktop support, I'd set up new computers with the mouse on the left side, just for fun. Then at night, my band would play and if the drummer was late, we'd set up his kit left handed. Someone always wanted to try out my guitar. Being very supportive of all musicians, I handed it right to them. The looks were priceless, because I handed my left handed guitar right to them, and they'd stand there, dumbfounded, trying to figure out what was wrong. And that is why I need a Bluetooth speaker.
- Just saw an article about people missing hugs during the quarantine. Do you know anyone like this? Do you also avoid them like rats and stinky cheese?
Today I identify as my cousin Jean, the hippopotamus.
- Neandertal genes in people today may raise risk of severe COVID-19
- So stay away from some of your friends.... you know which ones...
Russian interference in the upcoming election continues, with the International Space Station air leak traced to the Russian Zvezda module.
The reactions to the Trumps' Flying AIDS diagnoses were swift:
- People: speedy recovery
- Liberals: YAY!!! HAHAHAHA! I hope it's fatal! Par-TAY*
- Government: Continuity of Government plans in effect
- News: he's ok, he's not ok, he's going to use this to postpone the election, what if he refuses to leave the White House?
- BLM: peaceful protest at the hospital, throwing bricks to break the windows
- Donald: I'm going to be fine. I have the best doctors- I love them
- Libertarians: does this mean we can finally get into the debates?
- Mike Pence: the Lord hath plans for me, a Theocracy!
Interesting to ponder the unfortunate instance of Trump not returning to office.
Many presidents of old successfully hid their serious health conditions, but you can't get away with that today. Pence would step in, but what would happen to the country? Politics would go on, of course, but I wonder about the reaction of the people. What would the non-political repercussions be?
---> Mike Pence's epitaph: At least I'm not LBJ
New social media policies:
- *Twitter: you may not say you wish Trump dies from the Flying AIDS
- Faceyspaces: it's ok to say Trump should die, but not if you link him to the post
AI Oopsies
Twitter's image cropping AI
There are times where it will pick someone with darker skin over a lighter-skinned person, though generally, it seems to prefer women’s chests and lighter skin.and the problem is?
- In brief AI software designed to monitor students via webcam as they take their tests – to detect any attempts at cheating – sometimes fails to identify the students due to their skin color.
If only there were a way that a human could monitor the students....
- Pope Francis Says Covid-19 Pandemic Shows Limits to Market Economics, Coronavirus reminds humanity it is ‘all in the same boat,’
- can we throw the child molesters out of the boat?
Dear lefty
- Tonight is my first date with this girl I really like. Any tips?
- never confuse tease and taze
Russian interference in the upcoming election continues. It would have remained under the radar, but when you register 5,000 voters in Chicago, you're not supposed to register them republican.
Hey, remember Debbie Does Dallas?
[looking around for wife] ummmm.... no.
Remember the famous scene? Sure you do. The one where they're in the car and she decides to give him some oral gratification? The one where she reaches over, fishes around for her prize, then leans over? When she gets all twisted up and her right leg winds up out the driver's side window? You know, she has that wicked smile on her face and keeps going, even when she gets her head stuck in the steering wheel? Where she really gets into high gear after accidentally impaling herself on the gearshift?
Oh, that one, yeah, that was hot. What about it?
What kind of car was it?
Happys
Steve Miller - he's a joker, he's a smoker..
Brian Connolly - The Sweet
Brian Johnson - AC/DC
BYEs
Ben Orr - Cars
Mike Gibbins - Badfinger's (lefty) drummer. There are now no band members touring that played on the first album. The single touring member, Joey Molland, joined after the recording. The rest died, with the possible exception of the first guitar player, who quit before the first tour.
It's been 50 years since we lost Janis Joplin - one of my favorite singers.
We don't have a ton of ladies stepping up to the plate, unfortunately.
There's Beth Hart, and my absolute favorite, Sass Jordan (she tweeted to my dog on Twitter - don't ask).
SJW Suckage
In addition to the cry to remove tech terms blacklist/whitelist and master/slave, the latest demand is to get rid of database queries. Ok, I made that up, but it's plausible.
 |
| we all start here. most of us never stop. |
No comments:
Post a Comment