Bothering the Lemurs in April

 

Water.

On the moon?

Yes, NASA seems to have located it.

I have no idea what I'm talking about, but that never stopped me. Why not earlier? We sent a few humans there. There were tests. I'm not making this into a conspiracy, just wondering. It lives on the poles, where it's bloody cold; not in the sun, where it evaporates. Once again, we crashed something into the Moon to test for it. We have a nasty history of crashing things into the Moon, including an actual explosive device.

I'm telling you, it's the aliens screwing with us. They have a delightfully odd sense of humor. But any passing aliens would take one look at the Moon and say the Earth lifeforms were using it as target practice.

Also found on the Moon were hot showers (inside), a whole fleet of land yacht Chevys, ice cold YooHoo, a museum of old washing machines, and Steve Wozniak, who lives there part time. Decent wifi is being provided by Elon Musk, called MuskCast. There is a growing call for Bill Gates to emigrate permanently, perhaps to a planet further out.

• Mummified llamas

Your love is like  water on the Moon - it evaporates in the sun

• According to analyst firm Gartner, IT should behave like a jellyfish: without a central brain.
• According to IT, they're the way they are because the users have no brain
• I like the idea: jellyfish have a very painful sting that can cause heart attack in people who are allergic to them.

Hey - ya know... that election thing is coming up. So.. uh... do whatever it is you're supposed to do, ok?

HOW TO VOTE 

Voting is easy, provided you know how before going in.

To make sure the machine is ready for your vote, it must be cleared. In order to clear the machine, pull the lever that says Libertarian, and you're all set.

• Reese Witherspoon is talking about a potential political run
• I'm interested in what she has to say, provided she drops by and tries to convince me. Or sends Emilia Clarke.

German Authorities Want to Implement DNS Blocks Against Major Porn Sites

German politicians (need I say more) have decided 'it's for the children' and are insisting on a plan that would require people to send pics with age verification for a few large pr0n sites. It's really sad that the populace sits still for this nonsense. It's also ineffective, as people will just go to smaller sites, which may be anti-competitive and is the smart move anyway. Another chip in the steady creep for your rights and for internet censorship.

• A dispute over a $1 million outdoor sculpture has a millionaire blasting 'Gilligan's Island' song on loop to torment neighbor.
• This would be tremendous here, but the Crazy Lady is mostly deaf.

Philly Comes Alive: after the shooting of a knife-wielding man, Philly's peaceful rioters emerged from their hiding places, peacefully looting minority-owned businesses and injuring 30 policepersons. And they ran over a female police sergeant. Peacefully. A few peaceful explosions at ATMs were reported. Although Idiot Mayor viewed the video, Philadelphia Police said they cannot imagine where they put it but it will turn up eventually.

Err..... I wasn't there and didn't see the incident, but don't police carry tasers?

In other news, The Philadelphia District Attorney's Office stated they reviewed the video that could not be located, and pronounced the city not guilty. In still further news, the mayor continues to personally negotiate with the hordes of homeless illegally occupying part of the city since last year. Although the mayor acknowledged the racism inherent in the system, the homeless refused to move. Mayor is looking into promising them all free furnished apartments, but the homeless state the city owes them more, and are demanding a free income, luxury vehicles, private schooling for their children and pet-walking services.

• The Philadelphia Mayor's Office announced that no People of Color would be arrested for anything at all, because it's racist.

Today I identify as  a lemur who plays guitar - hopefully they're better than the human ones

Russian interference in the election continues, with the discovery that with each voting machine, we get a free Russian.

Hoping for peaceful resolution, Armenia and Azerbaijan agree to ceasefire, Secretary Pompeo says. The Democratic National Committee demands Trump be removed from office ASAP, before more peace breaks out.

Good Blog News 

I discovered that the comments section is not broken. It was just cleverly hidden from me and there are hundreds of comments awaiting: all spam.

TV Show? 

I wanna be involved with tv. Not anything hip, now, and fly... no.. I want to do one of those Highway to Heaven shows, but more of a Slideway to Hell kinda thing. Although the producers have done very little yet about talking to the Big Man about bringing Michael Landon (Eugene Orowitz) back to star, I'm forging ahead with plans. Instead of traveling the land, doing tremendous good for people, our hero will travel the land, poking balloons, skewering sacred cows, and taking pictures of politicians and their 'secretaries'.

Mrs lefty, bless her, said I should guest star, maybe as the star's evil henchman, but I'm too ugly for radio, no less tv. Even one of those long henchman coats won't help (unless I wear it over my head).

Dear lefty  

• How are you feeling about the election?
• I expect it to be the most recent election ever 

Reverb is the Ebay for musical instruments. They have this feature that lets you know when someone bids on something you're watching. They just sent me an email to let me know someone bid on the $150,000 1954 1st left handed Fender Telecaster ever made. I guess I better get bidding.

I told you to watch out for the chip...