Your love is like trying to get diagnosed for anything other than the Flying AIDS
Who saw this coming? A free speech rally in San Francisco turned into a melee as counterprotesters surged into the area and attacked. Because we can't have any of that free speech in this country: it might hurt somebody's feelings. Isn't it wonderful when you have so many useful idiots to do your job for you? They had to leave early because they were attacking a gun rights rally. The free speech group wasn't much brighter, referring to free speech on Twitter.
Today I identify as kitty litter
- Philly police are investigating after a man was found dead in a vacant lot. The mayor himself is leading the investigation, because the body wasn't wearing a mask.
As navy divers attempted to defuse a WWII bomb in Poland, it exploded.
Officials said the divers were ok and the object can be considered as neutralized. Comedians the world over added another Polish joke to their bag.
In unrelated news, the Polish government said the Nagasake bomb is considered neutralized.
Dear lefty
- Will the incoming first lady [FLOTUS] have implants?
- Only if Donald Trump wins re-election
Hello, Giant Practice Doctors' office.
Can I speak to Dr. Brown?
Let me see... I think we have a Dr. Brown. What's the problem?
I really didn't want to bother him, but my wife insisted. I have a really deep cut in my leg.
Nobody is allowed to talk to the doctors, but I can set you up with a telemedicine appointment with his janitor.
I hate to bother anybody with this but I'd prefer maybe someone with actual medical experience.
Ok, let me see.... how about his nurse?
The cut is really deep, as I said.
Ok, I can schedule a telemedicine visit with his nurse practitioner next Monday.
I feel so bad for bothering the doctor's practice, but the spurting blood is causing a bit of a mess on the carpets.
Ok, I can fit you in tomorrow, first thing, is that ok?
Thank you very much.
NEXT MORNING
How can I help you?
Well, you see, it's my leg. There's a somewhat deep cut.
Oh, I see. Let me set you up for a test.
Is there a lot of bloodwork?
No, this is just for the Flying AIDS
Well don't I need other tests, like typhoid and tetanus?
Let's do first thing first: we'll set you up for a Flying AIDS test tomorrow morning.
I don't want to denigrate your kindness and caring, but what if I die first? Can't I just come into the office?
No, I'm sorry, but spurting blood from cuts is a symptom of the Flying AIDS and we can't expose our practice to that sort of thing.
But I have no breathing problems or fever.
There are other Flying AIDS symptoms.
You mean any odd symptoms people call with?
Exactly.
Schedule me for tomorrow morning, please.
NEXT MORNING
Mr Johnson, this is the doctors' office, your Flying AIDS test came back negative.
I see. Thank you. What should I do about the continued bleeding from the cut in my leg.
Do you want me to ask his nurse practitioner?
If it's convenient.
..... I checked with the nurse practitioner and she said to get plenty of rest, elevate the leg, and drink fluids.
But I'm bleeding all over the place.
If you still feel bad after a few days of bleeding, call back and we'll schedule another telemedicine appointment with the nurse practitioner.
What if I feel myself slipping away outside of telemedicine hours?
If you feel there are any serious issues outside of office hours, call the emergency room and they'll set you up with a telemedicine appointment. You see, telemedicine is the future. Everybody really likes it and it's convenient, provided you don't ask the patients.
But what if I need to see an actual doctor?
Well, no. There's no provision for that. It's not built into the system- the doctors wouldn't go for it.
But what about all the near-fatal injuries?
Oh, they're swiftly converted into fatal injuries, but only during telemedicine calls with the ambulance or emergency room.
And this helps who....?
The doctors, initially, but we expect a better long-term outcome. This will make the entire country more careful.
And how is that?
Because people would need to decide between being safe or exposing themselves to our telemedicine system.
Microsoft just force restarted my Windows PC again to install more unwanted apps.
I explored Windows 10 thoroughly, so I could speak intelligently, and ranted in an earlier installment of ThermionicEmissions. I said it was an advertising platform that you pretty much rented and it should have started a stampede away to a different operating system. Few listened (to me or the industry, but the industry didn't seem to be as alarmed as me). Like Google and Faceyspaces, you are the product. Read again: you do not own your operating system. At least with earlier versions of Windows, you sort-of owned it (backdoors aside). Now you're locked into a fee for software system. Great for Microsoft, crappy for the users.
Again, nobody is stopping you from going elsewhere. The way to go is either Mac or linux. You can test out almost all linuxes without bothering your existing computer. I can't tell you much about Mac.
Interesting article on vitamin supplements and the Flying AIDS.
It is obviously science-based, as well as a bit of common sense.
‘I hugged the man who murdered my father’
-Put a moment of thought into this, please. If someone did something horrible to you, do you have to forgive them? It obviously worked for this lovely woman, but I can't imagine it.
- Today's legal question: GM's Cruise driverless car won a permit from the Department of Motor Vehicles to run up to 6 self-driving taxis.
- When the inevitable happens, and we hope that no one gets hurt, who gets sued?
- This might be your first opportunity to watch yourself crash!
Hellos
Patrick Simmons - The Doobies
Chuck Berry
Billy Cox - played with Jimi Hendrix - the only one alive
Michael Hassock - The Doobies
David St Hubbins - Spinal Tap
Pino Palladino - John Meyer, The Who
Tom Petty
Snoop Dogg
Bye Byes
Steve Gaines, Ronnie Van Zandt, Cassie Gaines - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Merle Travis
SJW Scratch
Mathematical Association of America:
It is time for all members of our profession to acknowledge that mathematics is created by humans and therefore inherently carries human biases.
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