Well, it's true. Except caramel tastes good.
I'm enjoying the hell out of caramel coffee creamer.
Your love is like dirty diapers
2021 Failure
It's April, and we still haven't rid ourselves of
- game changer
- easy peasy
- salted caramel
- iconic - this is a newer one, but still needs exorcism
As concerned world citizens, we need to do better.
Thank you.
Today I identify as another antidepressant that kills your libido
Humans are nothing if not adaptable.
Since it stopped snowing (I hope), there have been no loud shovels to disturb working. I don't know how they managed, but a roofer next door somehow got a roof tool to sound like a snow shovel - a metal one - on naked concrete.
Humans are nothing if not adaptable.
Think about it.... after months of silence while I work, they managed to devise something to ruin my work day. Chipmunks and apes do not do this.
[couple sits down to dinner]
I got you a soda. It's in the car.
- A former Philly suburban DARE officer sexually assaulted 4 teen boys.
- At least they weren't on drugs.
United Airlines training 5,000 pilots, half being women and people of color.
Do you trust your airplane pilot if they were hired on preference?
I suggested United make sure to hire asshole pilots, because there are a lot of assholes on planes too, so they'd have representation. My United rep said, "There's no need to recruit them."
- Kim Kardashian is on the Forbes billionaire list
- this is your fault - well, not ThermionicEmission readers, of course
The SPCA just called. They're warning Mrs. lefty about exposing Penny to Wendy.
- Faceyspaces will not be notifying the half billion people whose data leaked. They don't have to.
America's Doctor, Anthony Fauci, says another surge is on the way.
He also said one of his nostrils was bigger than the other.
President Biden is on the gun grab bandwagon - anxiously trying to revoke your right to own a gun. It was come as 'gun control' and arrive in pieces. Common sense is another misnomer. The fact that gun control (confiscation) groups are behind Biden is significant. Remember: the Second Amendment *affirms* that you are allowed to own a gun as a natural right - this existed before the Constitution. You're also entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness the same way.
- Spotify, who signed Joe Rogan to a huge deal, promising full autonomy, has disappeared 42 episodes of the podcast.
Elk Grove, CA, is paying its homeless to clean up after themselves.
Apparently it's very successful. With that in mind, I want to be paid for:
- doing the speed limit
- not shooting anyone
- paying taxes
- not stealing
- playing guitar (in my house)
- not doing anything to Joe Namath for the excessive Medicare commercials
- my dog not pooping in public
- avoiding cauliflower (this will trigger the hell out of the cauliflower lobby)
A home inspector pleasured himself with an Elmo doll in a nursery, as seen on a security camera.
Just a short while back, I wrote about a man pleasuring himself in a department store. Is there something about these dolls that we need to know? They're considerably cheaper than the Real Dolls and the manufacturers would really 'clean up'. This could be a tremendous boon for single men. You just have to put them away when your little nieces and nephews came to visit.
Remember: at ThermionicEmissions, I'm only satisfied when you're satisfied.
- Nearly 50% of Americans want 'The Rock' to run for president
- also popular were The Greatest American Hero, the gorilla in those memes, several Superman, contestants on Americans Idle, and Jared from Subway
Betcha never knew this, but Mother Nature works for Satan.
Hey - an outdoor wedding? RAIN
Last day of vacation? RAIN
Picnic? RAIN
Trip? SNOW
No energy to get out of bed? SUN
Louisiana? HURRICANE
Hot date? TORNADO WARNING
East Coast am? CLOUDS
East Coast pm? CLOUDS
East Coast overnight? CLOUDS
East Coast sunshine? CLOUDS
Is it a good thing or a bad thing that when I walk into our pizza place, it's like Cheers - lefty! lefty! lefty!!
Life is Python, Python is Life.
I say this often. It is true. Python-heads will know what I'm talking about and agree with me. After being brought up on Monty Python, you see it everywhere. My email program has an accessory called Splunge, which cleans things up. It's also featured in a Python sketch, where it means 'maybe yes, maybe no, but I'm not being indecisive.' You would be surprised how much Real Life is like Python.
I'm watching a documentary on Legend Hunters, where a fellow 'seeks the grail.' There are people considered experts on The Holy Grail. My mind has some trouble with people being 'experts' on something that happened thousands of years ago. People seeking the Grail can't even agree on what the grail is. Some believe it is literal: a cup. Some believe it is something else, like a person or a model of truck tire or ancient rock group. There is no shortage of people searching for the Grail. Many are named Graham. Or Graeme. Many have British accents. People who own church-like buildings are sick to death of strangers invading their buildings, seeking the Grail. After a while, they had t-shirts printed up, saying Home of the Grail, which they sell to suckers people looking for the Ark of the Covenant
The Ark was rumored to be very powerful, injuring its enemies. For this reason, some say it was nuclear. Of course if it were nuclear, it would have done a fine job on those carrying it around, producing a lot of burns and people named Graham.
Meanwhile, all it has produced is a lot of documentaries and even more people tearing up the British countryside. The ghosts and distant relatives of the Knights are having a tremendous laugh at the expense of the searchers, who they call The Grahams. You see, there was no Holy Grail - it was all made up, to see what kind of historical terror they could wreak. Even the ghosts are hysterical at the mayhem they have caused.
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, has shed his mortal coil, gone and joined the choir invisible, and is a dead duke, after 99 days in the hospital. He was 'just fine' for a while, as all dead people are, but British health insurance pronounces you dead after 99 days in the hospital, because it cannot cover 100 days in the hospital. All sick people are 'feeling fine' the first week of hospitalization, but if there is any more, they are likely to not leave the hospital vertically. Philip is largely known for being married to 'that woman,' otherwise known as The Queen. Tired of playing 2nd to her, he figured he'd pull the ultimate headline grabbing stunt and pass on. When informed, the Queen said, "Who?" and turned back into a lizard for a bit. America sent their condolences about "Phil" and started putting feelers out about dating Liz.
An Italian man has been charged with hiring a "dark web hitman" to kill his ex-girlfriend. The man should have been suspicious when he saw the ad: Having a problem? I'll kill it for you. Very professional hitman. Bitcoin only. Refs available.
- Psychology discovers people tend to subtract things to solve a problem, as opposed to adding
- study goes well for bomb squads
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