Your love is like a few rounds with Mike Tyson
The CDC said that those who got the shot no longer have to wear a mask when outdoors with members of their household or at small outdoor gatherings with unvaccinated people.
Stay tuned for the retraction of this, in a few days.
The curious will ask why someone would wear a mask indoors with members of their household, but questioning the official line, no matter which official line, is not encouraged.
A child traveling with fully vaccinated parents became Hawaii's first pediatric Flying AIDS death.
But... but... but... parents were fully vaccinated! Get Fauci on the line!
- The president is getting ready to push $4 trillion of spending.
- speaking of impeachment...
Here's one you didn't see coming...
Grenade-shaped toy sparks police alert
He should obviously sue. Why should drug use result in firing? It's only a bit of LSD. This is San Francisco, ferchrissake....
Uh-oh.
Schools use software that blocks LGBTQ content, but not white supremacists.
Reminds me of tv shows that protect us from words by cutting them out.
Sometimes it's better to discuss things than pretend they don't exist. Real world teaching makes school more timely and interesting.
- Willow Smith came out as polyamorous
- I was all set to come out as polyamorous, but my wife told me I'm not
Today I identify as the software called Splunk. I like the name.
I spend the entire (what passes for) autumn and winter waiting for the alleged spring. We're a few days into above-50 degree temperatures and I'm regretting my choice. It's not like I don't like the temps... it's the f*#%ing mowing. Not only my mowing, but the neighbors'. I love my next-door neighbor, but I suspect she mows every other day. Even her grass could not grow that fast. And she's around 90. I'm thinking of paying her to do my lawn too. Perhaps she needs a hobby (that isn't mowing). You know what this means, right? Construction and home improvement projects, where they use the LOUDEST materials and tools available to modern man. Why use wood when you can use metal - it makes more noise. And you know it's gonna make noise when I'm in a meeting. Then a dog will walk by the house, causing Penny to go apeshit Cujo. In fact, if I spoke up in a meeting without constant loud noise behind me, they wouldn't know who I was.
I had a friend who vacuumed at 3am, much to the dismay of her family. This would fail miserably at my house, because I do the vacuuming. I flat out refuse to vacuum while I'm sleeping. That's a firm boundary... although that would be the least strange thing I do while sleeping....
I wonder if they'd get the message if I started mowing at 3am.
Nah, I'd just get a visit from my friends in the police department. They 'pass by' my house a lot, to make sure everything's ok. To their credit, they never shot me. They know Mrs. lefty by her trips to the Happy Place<tm> and as the lady who drove her cancerous dog around at 3am. This news went throughout the entire department - one day there was a police person in the convenience store who said Mrs. lefty was the one who drove her dog around at 3am. The police knew Marshall by name.
The police don't come by too often anymore, now that our friend, the paranoid schizophrenic, moved out. I miss him; not only because he was a nice guy.. because we would stand outside and yell at the helicopters that appeared to be hovering over our houses. He was particularly triggered by motorcycles running up and down the street. So was Penny, so it tended to get loud(er) when they came by. I agree - the things don't NEED to be that loud. Auto manufacturers have done great work silencing cars, some having 8 cylinders. 2 or 4 shouldn't be a problem. I do not want to do the science, but I suspect penis size is inversely proportional to volume, both in bikes and guitar players. The neighbor had a few registered guns, which always made things interesting when there were any problems. Half the force would show up, which was cool, but you couldn't get out of your own driveway if you wanted a frozen drink or some adult toys.
So we know the police, but they won't do anything to stop the frequent mowing.
The Philly File
A Philly teen was charged in a deadly shooting outside Philadelphia prison.
Good - they didn't have to transport him far.
A loaded, stolen handgun was found in airport baggage, by the TSA.
After this genius' trail, they need to add 10 years for gross stupidity.
C'mon - you all thought about it.. sex in space.
- I guess it wouldn't be any more nauseating than being in space, so there's that...
- You might want to stay secured, or you'd be chasing each other across the capsule.
- Condoms would be mandatory, for the consideration of everybody else.
- NO HAMSTERS. Period.
- Whips will also have you chasing your partner, unless there are chains involved.
- Chocolate syrup only with the express written permission of everybody else in the capsule
- you had better be an exhibitionist or have technique that's incredibly boring
- be definite with your signals... astronauts live in cramped quarters and are always grabbing each others' junk and rubbing against each other
You will be thrilled to know there are still text-based browsers in linux.
Can you imagine surfing Faceyspaces with a text-only browser? It will load 100x faster, and the pictures will look like <graphic>. It is a great improvement.
Self-driving cars to be allowed on UK roads this year
- It would be best to keep your human-driven cars off the roads this year.
- Also remember to always keep a human in the driver's seat, especially in a Tesla
- Make sure the self-driving car knows to stay to the left - they drive funny over there
- makes tea, but you're not allowed to drink it
- when the cops pull you over, the car probably shouldn't refer to them as "you limey bastards"
- don't assume, because you can't see a head in the car in front of you, that it's self-driven. Stay away regardless
Big Tech is bankrolling AI ethics research.
Repeat after me: We had no idea cigarettes cause cancer
Oh, joy.
Let's forget, for a minute, the type of speech this mentions.
Countries are censoring the internet.
This needs to stop. Lets at least give the illusion of free speech.
Plus they have OFF switches, which is worse, in case something happens.
There are strawberry Pop Tarts, frosted and not.
Not frosted is actually labeled "Not Frosted"
Do they really need to do this?
You know they got complaint calls from people who bought them, thinking they were frosted, even though it shows they're plain on the box.
coming soon...
- cars labeled "No Sunroof"
- anvil labeled "Not Hammer"
- black guitars labeled "Not Sunburst Finish"
- guns labeled "Not Automatic"
- guacamole: "Not Gravy"
- limes: "Not Lemon"
- elephants: "Not Ant"
Everybody wondered what would happen at the Chauvin trial, given either outcome. Turns out there was a secret federal plan to arrest him for police brutality if he got off.
Ladies and gentlemen, we can but hope that one day, what we say and do will be important enough for the federal government to have a backup plan.
- It's brown outside today
- yellow days and brown days are the worst, aside from gray days
Today's Forecast:
It's April 30, to be followed by May 1.
So, our dear friends in government want to pass a law mandating driver-monitoring systems in all new cars.
Government never met anything they couldn't make worse through legislation.
We. Do. Not. Need. This.
More intrusion at the federal level.
It's interesting that they want to make sure drivers are awake, with their eyes on the road, but they're strangely quiet when it comes to drunks (not that either equipment belongs in the car). This kind of intrusion must stop and it won't unless you try, via your representatives. Shoot off an email to the sponsors, as well as your federal reps.
Do this before the monitoring gets installed in your house (aside from the smart tv and social media that watch you).
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