Your love is like stepping on cockroaches
I think my company's structure is weirder than it lets on. Everybody has a chain and everybody does their best not to piss off the next link up. My employer has a completely different chain, with people we don't know. Their function seems to be keeping the next chain up happy, strictly via bullshit. See if you recognize this...
BOSS: this weekend, we're going to install the Gee Whizz Special Security Box, so here's how we're going to do it.
US: Ok, cool, we'll be there.
BS DEPT: [in high level meeting] Gentlemen, as you see on this highly-colored 25 page presentation, we'll be making a change this weekend. This is part of our overall strategy to provide greater bullshit to Manglement. Our strategy will naturally take several steps to achieve Maximum Bullshit. Blah blah agile blah blah core details, blah blah, the Cloud blah blah AI blah blah having visibility into the system with timely reporting in colorful charts.
US: my God - I've never seed slides like that. So many colors. So many lines between boxes. It's art. It's also total bullshit. You couldn't understand it if you tried. Manglement is terrified to ask any questions because it would reveal they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, so they'll ask general questions like "How long will it take" and the big one, "How much will it cost?" Remember: we're agile, but not coordinated.
- a Harvard-educated Texas democratic state legislator insists modern science says there are six sexes
- he seems to be off by more or less, approximately four
Let's see.. there's X and Y. Then XX and XY. Then Q. Then LGBTQ. Then XXXX, but you have to go to Pr0nhub to see them. Harvard ain't what it used to be.
Today I identify as a circuit breaker
Faceyspaces is once again caught with its proverbial pants down. Coming off last week's 550 million user leak is another beauty....
a tool that, on a massive scale, links Facebook accounts with their associated email addresses, even when users choose settings to keep them from being public.
But it's ok, just pretend nothing happened. Uncle Bob's nose operation and political views are so interesting, you are forced to log in.
- what's the only thing worse than your rollercoaster getting stuck?
- your rollercoaster getting stuck 200' up and you have to walk down
Genius of the Decade
An Italian hospital worker is accused of skipping work for 15 years.
He was paid 538,000 Euro, 464,000 lbs, $5349, or 53 grams Canadian but he stopped showing up in 2005.
As if that weren't enough, 6 managers are also being investigated. That's some great work there. He physically threatened his manager, and when she retired, no one noticed his lack of presence.
I had a similar but different thing as a goal: I wanted to be the guy whose job no one could figure out. I showed up every day and sat at my desk, but no one knew what I did or could find out. The Flying AIDS killed that. Damn Flying AIDS.
- a mayor in jail for raping a staffer is running the entire town from jail
- Yes, jails all over the country are putting in high speed internet and video facilities, in preparation for more city servants getting caught.
The nature journal Communications did a study that proved 6 hours or less of sleep between the ages of 50, 60, and 70 was "associated with a 30% increased dementia risk."
You just can't win.
When I was little, I was told to get 8 hours every night. Since I am an inveterate hardhead, I didn't. Then I was told I should wake up at the same time on weekends, to keep the body clock running. I've got news for you... my body clock is terminally confused. Then I heard you should sleep late on weekends, to make up for a 'sleep deficit.' Now I find that I do fine on 6 hours. If I sleep 8 hours, I have to be removed from the bed with a front end loader, and need 4 naps during the day.
And now my chance of dementia might go up 30%.
It's like telling me chocolate causes cancer.
- SpaceX had a near miss with a UFO and astronauts were told to to prepare for a crash
- how do you prepare for a crash - eject yourself into space?
- the Space Force, via the Pentagon, notified SpaceX. Nothing odd there
China, Friend of All Nations, has a satellite arm. America is worried it could be used to snatch up other spacecraft. Just like that James Bond movie! The end of the arm has articulating digits, so the craft can pick its own nose, which has driven the Pentagon completely batty. Some say the Pentagon has been completely batty since it was built.
China has no idea what the fuss is: its satellite is just a cable tv satellite and can only be used for peaceful purposes. They say the antenna often gets mistaken for an arm, but nobody worry, ok? In no way does the satellite have Space Lasers, signal jamming, or directed energy weapons, ok?
China offers its training with America's Space Force as proof that they are only in it for the sake of cooperation, and not to decimate its enemies and achieve supreme control of the planet, with its imperial dogs and fawning legislative bodies and less-viral viruses.
- a 90 year old Trenton, New Jersey, man has been arrested for fatally shooting his neighbor
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