Your love is like a bone graft
Nothing fills me with joy and hope for humanity more than discovering Americans Idle is in its 19th season. Except that the bigger, better show is The Masked Furry. Rome is burning - who's fiddlin'?
The CDC, always correct damn near all the time, said to end the hygiene theater. The Flying AIDS is spread through the air - stop sending Clorox stock through the roof.
America's Doctor, Dr. Fauci, will send out a statement disagreeing with this, in 5..4..3..2..1..
Now if we can only get rid of Security Theater at the airports.
Headline: Death Row Inmate Dies
U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen on Monday urged the adoption of a minimum global corporate income tax, an effort to at least partially offset any disadvantages that might arise from the Biden administration’s proposed increase in the U.S. corporate tax rate.
This appears to be a band aid for countries easing taxes on businesses.
- Who is any country to levy taxes on other countries?
- Why not go after the cause of the problem?
- We're a One World Government, a-comin down the tracks
The ACLU is now sharing your info with Faceyspaces.
You can opt-out but you have to look for it.
The ACLU has done some great work, like them or not. This is not.
Today I identify as axle grease
NATIONWIDE KETCHUP SHORTAGE
The country is in major panic.
People are taking off their masks and running into stores to find the precious red substance.
People may have to stop putting it on hot dogs and lunchmeat (a sick practice)
- Hollywood, soon to be back in business, is writing its first major picture as we speak: Covid 2 - This Time it's Also Fatal. If this is successful, you guessed it: Covid III - Mutated, Immune to the Shots
Today's Question: if someone with bipolar disorder is out of meds, can they consume lithium grease?
The Vatican has been digging a secret tunnel in Jerusalem in order to
exhume King David's DNA and resurrect the Messiah, a rabbi has claimed.
This should be interesting...
He's my messiah.
No, he's my messiah.
George Bush said God spoke to him personally. Maybe he can ask God what's up with this.
COMMENTATOR: In this corner, weighing 1,000 tons of treasure, is the Catholic Church. Tell us about the Church, Bob.
COLOR COMMENTATOR: Well, the church isn't as popular as it once was, owing to the decline in organized religion, and the worldwide coverup of child molestation. They still have almost unlimited resources and have long been the heavyweight favorite.
COMMENTATOR: in the far corner is Israel.
COLOR: Long the underdog, Israel is a furious fighter, with missiles second only to the US. And Ralph, this is going to be a difficult one; bringing about the messiah. Especially when every mother thinks their son is the messiah.
Catholics believe that Jesus Christ was the son of God and the Messiah predicted to come and save the world from its sins in the Old Testament, and are holding out for his Second Coming one day.
However, believers in Judaism don't believe Jesus was the son of God, and are still waiting for the first coming of the Messiah.
COLOR: So we have a fundamental difference of opinion here, Ralph, which should make for an interesting fight. I have to admit a tiny bit of skepticism here, over the claim that the Church is trying to get King David's DNA to build a clone to fool people into believing he's the Messiah. That's some dirty pool.
COMMENTATOR: Indeed, Bob. Indeed.
- LG is quitting the phone market
- bummer - they were a great alternative. I've had 2.
30 year old Soviet TV adaptation of Lord of the Rings surfaces on YouTube
Comrade, I look for ring
No, ring is for all peoples
Putin: ring is for me. I am President for Life
Speaking of which, Russian physicians studying why opponents of Vladimir "the Impaler" Putin always develop fatal diseases have suddenly ended their study. The verdict is that they were incorrect, everything is fine, and they apologize most humbly and sincerely to Mr. Putin.
- I just got a big-ass bag of caramel M&Ms. It says 'sharing size'.
- do I have to share?
Mrs. Sri Lanka suffered head injuries after her crown was seized by a rival seeking her disqualification.
Now this is what we like to see - the ratings will go through the roof! All we need is to add Donald Trump and the ratings will top Americans Idle.
Chick fight!
- Many people are getting really upset about AI and facial recognition because it doesn't identify black people. Ummm..... let's think about this for a minute... isn't the goal in a free society to not be identified? I'd be damn happy about it.
I didn't think this was going to be a bad time, but AAA is really making my head spin. Day One they tried to start, failed, then had to order a tow. Day Two I had to call and they said 'it was next'. Day Three they called with a list of suggested repairs. No. The battery price was obscene. Granted, I haven't purchased a battery in a while, but it was well under $100 and I installed it myself. This time it was pushing $200. JFC. Next time I'll know - buy and install privately. JFC.
They recommended a few other services, like those oil change places:
- one windshield wiper was starting to streak
- the animanicapistan was on the fritz
- three oil changes, because the battery died
- nose hair adjustment, because the battery died
- and the required air filter change because the battery died. the labor for replacing the air filter is $400. Any malady with any car will require an air filter, even if you just replaced it the prior day.
- the battery is guaranteed for 6 years, which is a lot longer than the car
This car is like that movie with the odd little lady and the girl who went 'into the tv' (Poltergeist?). The father character, Craig T Nelson, had a bit of an adversarial relationship with his station wagon. He gave it to the (American) indian character, whereupon it worked flawlessly. This car really doesn't like Mrs. lefty. Four other people have driven it and look at her like she's nuts because it works fine for them. She's terrified to drive it more than 2 miles. It misbehaves terribly - stopping, barely running, chugging, and parking itself in front of shoe stores. I've never heard of the last one, but Mrs. lefty does not lie. What this means is that it's going to become 'my' car, and she gets to drive the nice new one. Smart woman.
This may be the largest topic ever (not) covered on this blog: sleep
Sleep info is relatively easy to come by, and is wrong only about 99% of the time.
My mom always said to get as much sleep as possible.
I find the more I sleep, the more tired I am. If I get over 6 hours, I'm dragging.
The 'authorities' say to get a lot of sleep.
Some 'experts' say you have a sleep deficit. I can sleep 22 hours Friday and Saturday nights. These were the same experts who said to get the same amount of sleep every night. This led to Zombie Weekends, with or without alcohol-fueled mayhem.
No matter what they say, they're wrong. Or my body laughs at them. My body, like most of me, laughs at everyone.
If I get 4 hours of sleep, I'm fine, and good for technical and car racing tasks.
If I get 6 hours of sleep, I'm fine, and can get through work fairly asleep.
If I get 8 hours of sleep, I drag, and probably shouldn't try to fill up the car.
If I get 10 hours of sleep, I need 4 naps. Sex is fine, because that part never sleeps.
If I get 12 hours of sleep, I stay in bed because I'm too tired to get out. I start remembering dreams, which is not a good thing, if you've ever seen my dreams.
If I get 3 hours of sleep, I'm much better with small, intricate tasks, provided I'm not given small, intricate tasks. I'm more alive and focused, whatever that means. My camera is focused, not my person. Besides, people with ADD can't focus.
Although several units of excessive time are getting out of bed, starting to put socks on, and putting the 2nd sock on. You just sit there, in space somewhere. It's difficult to move. Not to mention the loud shriek every morning you hear the alarm. OH NO! NOOOOOOOO! JUST KILL ME NOW. THAT WASN'T 5 HOURS. BUT THE DOG WAS SNORING ALL NIGHT.
Sleep: you're never gonna get enough.
The latest Flying AIDS silliness is about handshaking and touch....
"The pandemic forced us to stop hugging, shaking hands: that's not necessarily a bad thing"
Please.
If you don't like to touch people, fine.
The pic (and the concept) is hysterical.
I guess the Boob Exam and the Genital Rub are out.
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| 500 million + records leaked |
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