Dining with the Dead

 Your love is like  making love on the beach, and getting sand up in the works

Scientists have taken a look at the children of Chernobyl; the children of the people who were ordered to clean up the horrible mess, and found the damage was limited to the cleaners and not their children.

So aside from a few more arms and heads than is customary, the children are perfectly normal. 

• FDA and CDC ok resuming J&J Flying AIDS shots
• the clots are rare anyway....

• A study that said smokers get the Flying AIDS less often got retracted because one of the researchers had ties to Big Tobacco.
• probably the most honest, accurate action in over a year 

Apple's AirDrop is leaking your emails and phone numbers, but it's ok - there's nothing you can do about it. Apple has known about it but has forgotten to acknowledge or fix it. But it's ok - Apple knows what's best for you.

This comes on the heels of Apple being accused of ransomware. Their particular brand of ransomware is different from the other pirates: instead of hacking and encrypting files, Apple forces you to buy newer phones and hardware. Judging from the lines around the block for new iPhones, no one has figured this out yet.

• President Biden is getting ready to address a joint session of Congress
• he kept asking his handlers if it's ok to smoke there

Today I identify as  those little pieces of whatever they are that collect in your bed

• Faceyspaces mistakenly deleted the page for the town of Bitche, France.
• It's ok, though.... at least it wasn't a hate crime.

Elon Musk is going to host Saturday Night live.

Musk will make a few changes:

• make the network green
• give the show a better, funnier autopilot
• auto-update the cast over the internet
• make the show funny, for the first time in 25 years

The SNL cast is upset that someone with no apparent comedic talent is on the show. They have yet to walk past a mirror.

Boris Johnson suggested that "bodies could pile high" during a heated discussion about lockdown in Downing Street in the autumn, sources familiar with the talks have told the BBC.

Johnson denied making the remarks.

"I did not say 'bodies could pile high,' I said 'My opponents should get AIDS and die.'  I hope this clears up the matter.'"

• The salmon you buy in the future may be farmed on land
• I call BS: do you have any idea how hard it is to plant a salmon? 
• Then you get huge areas of smelly fish plants til they're harvested

My iDevice from work has had this small problem: it won't ring.

This can be defined as a problem or a blessing.

It makes a great light show when a call comes in, but an extreme lack of ringing sound.

Again, a blessing.

I can see it ring, which is ok, provided I'm in the office.

Turns out there's a damn silence switch on it.

Next week I'll figure out how to leave an outgoing voicemail message.

Then maybe make some calls, but I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.

Coming in the new iOS: NEW EMOJIs. We have finally achieved world peace.

The Oscars fell below 10 million viewers for the first time.

Maybe people just didn't know they were on.

Or got tired of fashion shows and vapid monologues.

Florida is getting ready for the release of a billion genetically engineered mosquitoes, to eradicate a disease carrying mosquito.

• Floridians referred to this as 'TERRORISM'
• they want non-GMO mosquitoes
• they are all CIS-hetero-male, so no one else will be protesting
• the CDC (uh-oh) will review data, but not health. Anthony Fauci is said to be not involved in this case, but may jump in if there's tv time involved
• as in many species, only the females suck blood

Suicide is deadly, and you never know the full effect you'll have on people.

A suicidal man jumped from a parking garage in San Diego, killing himself and the woman he landed on. 

Bill Gates is working on a new Windows game, in which you jump off a building and attempt to hit people on the ground. It's slower than his vaccines, but useful. And the kids love it.

But think about it... you couldn't jump from a building and hit someone if you tried.

• If you're a musician, you probably use Reverb, which is like an Ebay for instruments. Naturally they had a data breach, and urge you to change your password.
• Don't hesitate. Go and change your password NOW. Hopefully your password vault will generate a new one. A long one.
• Don't put personal info online if you can help it. Reverb had my email address and that was it.

The FBI, without any court order, sifted through the National Security Agency’s massive troves of foreign communications for information on American “racially motivated violent extremists,” a newly declassified order from the secret surveillance court details.

Of course it did. They take this kind of power, nobody says anything, and they use it illegally. 9-11 was Christmas for them.

• California now has the lowest Flying AIDS rate in the nation!
• The virus looked around and gave up.

Ever curious about how privacy-invasive the website you're on is?

Head over to The Markup and it will tell you. Be prepared - you might not like the answer.

This highlights many issues, but mainly that you need to have some privacy built into your browser and some extensions.

The tiny Canadian town of Tumbler Ridge - population 2,000, lost its internet over the weekend. How? A beaver chewed through the cable.

This is not the first time Tumbler Ridge lost internet..

• in 2012, a killer rabbit chewed through its internet cable
• the year before, the NSA chewed through its internet cable, but blamed it on some ants
• in 2005, an ocelot urinated on the cable, rusting out the connections
• in 2014, an elephant picked up the cable and beat a Chevy to death, resulting in a breakage
• the year before, 150 people tried to commit suicide by wrapping it around their necks
• in 2006, the mayor, Jean Luc LeStench, drove his 4 wheeler over it
• in 2001, Terrance and Philip farted on it

West Virginia will give young people a $100 bond to get the vaccine.

They will give a $500 bond to get the refrigerators off the lawn, and a $1,000 bond to stop doing that to your sister.