Nice Lug Nut You Got There

Your love is like  a third nostril

 I interviewed a tech with a tongue stud ball thingie. He was even weirder than me, not thinking to de-install it for his interview. Both he and his wife had one. I found that interesting. I was thinking of asking Wife to get one. But it's a major step... why not test it out with a clip-on tongue stud first? You know, like earrings. Like most of my brilliant ideas, that one went nowhere.

Speaking of brilliant ideas, I want a coffee table book of things pulled out of rectums in emergency rooms. There would be a picture of the item and its story.

I also want a tv show called Tazed. It just police footage of people getting tazed. For some reason, I find that really appealing and I think the Great Unwashed will too.

Today I identify as  a kick stand

The period between laying down in bed and waking up is an interesting one for me. Actually not - I just go to sleep. But the stuff I do, I'm told is interesting and sometimes entertaining. And other stuff that happens is interesting. I awoke, six minutes before the alarm, to find one warm spaniel, tight up against me, sleeping peacefully. No matter how weird they are when we adopt them, they get weirder, which I put down to Mrs. lefty, the Pied Piper of Cockers. She tells me the dog sleeps like that a lot. That's news to me. Sometimes I wonder what else I'm not aware of while I sleep....

There night be few trips to Egypt, car repairs, juggling, stand-up comedy, and some singing. I think. I sure wish I could do something useful while I slept. Like plumbing and home repair. Sleeping home repair would be preferable to no home repair, which I practice currently. Plus doing things in my sleep would be considerably less weird than most other things that happen in our house. "Don't ask him anything while he hammers - he's sleeping."  

• As an inveterate klutz, I'm always deleting and moving text I shouldn't. Everybody's best friend is ctrl-z, which restores your last fubu. Try it.

I should just create a section for Things That Blow Up

The latest is an ASUS motherboard, being recalled because a backwards capacitor causes it to flame out. 

Flying AIDS News 

New patent-free COVID vaccine developed as “gift to the world”

The coronavirus may cause fat cells to miscommunicate, leading to diabetes

FDA authorizes boosters for 12- to 15-year-olds, shortens interval for adults

Judge grants relief to Navy SEALs who refused coronavirus vaccine, sued Biden administration

• China, Russia, France, the UK and the US have signed a pledge to not fight a nuclear war.
• phew - that's a relief. So we're getting rid of all our nukes? Including space?

HOLD THE PHONE - 

People Have Been Having Less Sex—whether They’re Teenagers or 40-Somethings

This is not good, for so many reasons.

However, the study fails to indicate a serious reason(s) for the lower numbers. 

They don't even mention marriage, which is the usual reason for decline in sexual relations.

Tie this with lower reproduction rates, from other studies, and you have some interesting facts.

Do what you want with this information... 

• What's 30 degrees, 90% humidity, and gray?
• the weather here. Past and present

Who Cares?  

Wife was grousing about something that somebody said or did recently. She seemed overly upset, and it happens frequently.

Douglas Adams (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) solved part of this with the SEP Field. An entire sports stadium did not see items of furniture appear on the field because they were Somebody Else's Problem (SEP).

I have a Who Cares Field.

• Bobby and Susie are saying bad things about Mom? Put it in the Who Cares Field.
• Mom bitching about the same things every time you call? Put it in the Who Cares Field.
• Relatives saying their dog is much cuter than yours? Put it in the Who Cares Field
• Anytime you're tempted to say "Oh no they di-int", put it in the Who Cares Field

You see, the Who Cares Field is a wonderful discovery, and saves lots of hours and agita, as well as stomach (and ear) aches. Plus, if you put these topics into the Field, you have lots of space for other things, AND you won't bother your spouse with this fscking nonsense. You'll spend considerably less time being upset about something this idiot or that idiot said. Your quality of life can increase 50% (but won't, because you'll fill it up with other things to bitch about). Your blood flow will improve, as will your stomach and head. Maybe even your poop!

So remember - the next time something starts to bother or worry you, put it in the Who Cares Field.  (you might want to be careful with your mortage and that new noise your car is making)

• don't tell anybody, please, but we caught the dog eating oatmeal. Most people won't eat oatmeal. Now I'm starting to worry. So far that's whipped cream, oatmeal, mice, and birds (fresh caught only).
• the worst thing about oatmeal is oatmeal. It's also an industrial grade cement. If you don't start cleaning the pot and bowl before you make it, you have to throw them out. How do you think they sealed all those holes in the Space Station?

Some states are getting upset that California is the weirdest state, so they're going after the title. New York is getting pretty weird, but Seattle is making a strong showing. ..

Seattleites complain they can’t find woke therapists for segregated health care

Not only do they want therapists who are woke enough, they want therapists who share their gender identity and race.

First, I truly hope this is Seattle's biggest problem (it's not).

I support their First Amendment rights to free speech, but these people have long gone past the point in proving to the rest of the country they're Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. It's quite obvious they need a therapist. Or more likely, a grownup to tell them NO.

I demand a CIS hetero male left handed therapist, who plays the guitar left handed, and knows which end of a soldering iron to hold. He must be a libertarian through and through and be married to a lady with multiple personalities. Is that too much to ask?

I've spent over 20 years dealing with the mental health system. Fighting insurance companies. Trying to get prescribed medicines covered. These people have no idea what they're up against. I don't think the Power of Whine is going to 'fix' things. The last time I looked, there were hundreds of therapists covered under my insurance. Unfortunately, the directory did not cover their intersectionality and wokeness.

• Ever since the German guy slipped and got it ruled as a work incident, I've been working on my own Home/Office ideas. I asked Wife if having sex on my desk counts as work sex.
• I tried to get her to sext or send me pictures, but she says it's no fun because I'm right there. I think it's no fun because she's sending pics to me.

Scientists Defy God, Teach Goldfish to Drive on Land

rumored to be joining Uber