Yet More Bottled Glass

Your love is like    The Roseanne Show without Roseanne

It snowed. I hate it here.

Because I expect winter to be 70-80 degrees, with little humidity, and perfectly sunny. No snow. Ever.

In fact, I expect summer to be like this too.

You doesn't has to be real smrt to has a blog.

I want to complain. OW. What did you do that for?

Oh, sorry, this is getting kicked in the nuts lessons.

Sorry... why would you need lessons in getting kicked in the nuts?

Sir, are you oppressing me?

Not me, I just want to complain.

Ah, that would be 2nd floor, with beds.

I want to complain. Why are there so many mattresses in Complaints.

OH NO, SOMEBODY SAID MATTRESS TO MR. LAMBERT 

[and did those feet, in ancient times, walk upon Philly's dirty streets...] 

I want to complain.

Get in line.

I am in line.

Ok. Do you have a number?

No. Where do I get a number?

It's on the ticket.

Hold on, hold on... I am expected to have a ticket and stand in line?

Yeah.

I'm sorry, this is a very silly sketch and I am not prepared to go on with it.

That's Philly for ya.

Is this Complaints?

No.

The man from Tickets told me to come here for Complaints.

Ok, yes, this is Complaints. We tell people no - it cuts down the traffic.

I want to complain.

Yes, we've already established that. I didn't have to take this job. I'm a theoretical physicist. I just do this for the benefits.

I want to complain. It's this weather thing.

I see. Can you be more specific? 

I don't like it.

Is there a part of it you don't like more than others?

Most of it, actually.

Is it the seasons? 

To start with, we only have two. 

Two, Sir? 

Yeah, summer, then somebody flips the switch and we have winter. I think they sold the other two for taxes. But that's not what's bothering me.

Sir, are you currently on any medication and have you taken it recently? 

Abuse is downstairs. I want to complain about the weather.

Yes....

It's cold in the winter and unbearably humid in the summer.

I see. And do you have any suggestions? 

I thought we could keep it around 70-80 with low humidity all year round.

Then you'd only have one season.

I could live with that.

Anything else? 

It snows.

It is the east coast, Sir.

If we get the temperature suggestion I made, we'd only have to see snow on tv news, from other states, and we could all laugh at them. And in Christmas movies.

I'll, uh, see what I can do.

What do you mean, 'see what you can do'? Is this not Complaints?

Yes, it's the largest complaints department in the state.

I want to complain. I want to speak to your boss.

Sir, if you think I'm an asshole, wait til you meet him.

[ThermionicPython]

Today I identify as  the semicolon key I hit instead of apostrophe. Every. Stinking. Time.

Flying AIDS News 

Meta (Faceyspaces) will require employees to have a COVID-19 booster to return to the office

Free AI protein software packages nearly predicted structure of the Omicron coronavirus variant correctly

Covid: Chile starts fourth vaccine dose amid rise in cases

                read that again 

Covid PCR tests end for asymptomatic cases in England

'We have gone backwards': Covid confusion snarls Biden White House

Which mask? What test? Covid's latest surge spreads an epidemic of confusion.

U.S. CDC may recommend better masks against Omicron - Washington Post

Don't forget, the majority of heart attacks happen while shoveling snow.

I keep trying to remind Wife, but she gets all wide-eyed, citing some sort of imaginary law, stating we must clear snow within 8 hours.

Or what - the Snow Police will get us?  

We have to bring up the trash cans too.

Yeah, the Trash Police...

And we still cannot find an enterprising youth to pay to shovel snow (or mow). I guess the youth of America have something better to do. Maybe they're quitting their jobs for Unemployment. Or quitting their job to work at Walmart or McDonald's, for $15/hr. Most likely, sitting in, playing video games.

Drones are coming to get us. It's fun to fly the hobby ones, but the Big Jobbies are there to spy on us and deliver less than pleasant payloads. So here's a great story about a drone delivering a defibrillator in time to save a man's life. He was shoveling snow and had a heart attack (told you so). 

• I had to go back to my old office. Again. I'm less sore this time, probably because I didn't have to play Naked Twister with the racks.
• Wife says I have to wear a mask at home. I suspect she's trying to tell me something....

Broadcast radio is trash. It has been trash for years and years. 

Never has it been trash in greater quantity than recently. There are a very few people writing the hits today; they're just handed off to the Flavor of the Month singer (sorry, dancer).

To make things more fun, there is now AI software that will create you a song. While this is fascinating on a technical level, it's pretty ugly on an aural level. It's not guaranteed to make you a star, and the company has most of the rights to your song. So go ahead - produce some product. It's all product anyway. Then everybody will want to sound like you. For a month. Good luck.

• Female dolphins have a clitoris much like humans’
• also get headaches 

My employer thinks ahead and wants to make things easier for their slaves employees. When they ask you to do something, they write it out and explain each step of the process. Unfortunately, the explanation is difficult to understand, and the steps are invariably wrong. It goes something like this:

1. Click link.   (Link takes you to old site that doesn't refer you to new site)
2. Look for Payroll    (there is no Payroll)
3. Look for "My last check"   (there is no Payroll. OH, it's under HR)
4. Print a copy   (you can only use work printers and you work from home)
5. Check to make sure you're under Payroll   (there is no Payroll)
6. Your information will be on the left  (it's on the right, 5 clicks away)
7. Can we offer you a soda?   (soda machines are at work, broken)
8. Is there anything else we can do?   (system does not understand DIE)

I'm the kind of employee who desperately wants to fix the systems to make things better for everyone. I learned to keep my mouth shut after the Talking to Manglement Incident.

• What 2 words tell you to immediately not watch the program?
• 1,000lb Sisters

I want my text messaging back.

With people using iDevices, I now get Likes on texts. This isn't social media - this is texting. And while we're at it, I don't want to see emojis on the subject line of email. In the beginning, email was text-only, and was checked in a terminal. We're being driven back.

lefty liked this post  😈

• 'They' say that many people with money are just as miserable as the rest of us, without money. I dunno about you, but I'd like to do the science.

As we mentioned in the last installment, Mrs. lefty is going visiting, and lefty knew he needed a babysitter. He suggested Jennifer Lawrence because they were talking about her.  There has been no response from the Mrs. lefty or the Jennifer Lawrence camp. I have a feeling it will be another lonely period, with no adult supervision. Anything that 'happens' is now on her....

• Today is the second day in a row we can see the sun.
• For penance, it's way below freezing.

In the future, people will look back on us and wonder what happened. There will be college courses on this time period. One of the more intense topics will be how vocal minorities managed to force the majority to go along with their bizarre ideas.