Your love is like a particularly nasty computer virus that's sweeping the web
The toilet is clogged. Again.
We have a long and storied history with plumbing, most of it involving paying hundreds and hundreds to a large plumbing concern. The only tiny plus I got is that the plumber had trouble too.
We had a while when the two toilets would chat to each other. One would run for ten seconds, then the other one would answer it. This was particularly annoying while in an important meeting or watching a good tv show (about the history of plumbing). The most annoying thing was that we couldn't understand what they were saying. Wife insists they were talking about us. I chose the less paranoid route; they was just sayin' Hey.
So now I'm like a pro with a plunger, like being the key word. I'm hoping it makes me look house-competent, or at least makes up for all the stuff I can't do. The great thing about toilets is that you don't have to climb a ladder to fix them. If you did, I'm not sure I want to know about it. Most of our repairs lately seem to involve a ladder. This is most unfortunate, as both of us start to wobble when we look at the ladder.
Then there's the shed. For some reason we have a shed. I think it has something do to with someone who lived in the house before us. This is precisely why the detective agencies are always calling me. One day my brother-in-law noticed one of the sides was coming off. To my utter amazement, the guy produced magic: went to the home improvement store, bought some wood, and fixed the whole thing up. It was amazing. We traded: I did computers. My dad sawed off an overhanging tree limb when he was 80. So the shed looks bad again, and both of these fine gentlemen had the temerity to die. On his bed in the hospital, I told my father he couldn't die, who would saw tree limbs. The shed has the advantage of not requiring a ladder (I hope). Last time, I put some screws in it and it was Fixed! I do screws (once I have the driver set in the right direction). So this is going to require at least one of those large sheets of wood, or almost wood. Wife yells at me that it has to get done, as if I can snap my fingers and Make it So, Number One. I installed an electronic thermostat, dammit - what else do you want? Granted, it was when we moved in, 25 years ago, but I did it. Why does everyone want to crap on my achievements? Not only did I install it, I can program it.
So there's the thermostat and the plunger. I need a sweatband to complete the look.
Today I identify as certainly not a guy who can fix things around the house, that's for sure.
- Looking out the window this morning, I noticed it was less gray. It's not like we get sun - just weeks of variations on gray. True to form, it got more normally gray and rainy as the day progressed.
- Mental health experts are recommending people not look at the forecast - it's just gray and clouds for days and days and weeks and months and I'm probably one of those people who shouldn't look at the weather forecast. How many ways can you slice shit? Partly gray with less gray toward evening.
- It's the kind of weather that makes the depressed more depressed and the unhappy line up at the gun store.
A little after 7am, I screamed, which is my usual reaction to the alarm going off. Back to work as if there were no forced vacation. I get ten points and a gold star for remembering to turn the alarm on.
How was work? Grossly normal, except for the rhinocerous.
- Upset that Tesla is always in the news, Chevy is recalling 141,000 units because they tend to explode.
- Next year, electric cars will need to prove they can extinguish themselves.
Flying AIDS News
The Pfizer "booster" injection for children in the U.S. receives emergency authorization on the basis of "real-world" data from Israel. No clinical trials are cited in the FDA press release.
New data on using J&J vaccine to
boost itself
The International Space Station's operations have been extended through 2030. This required a lot of Science, ingenuity, and good old American know-how. The ISS started with 386 computers, which were a nice size, but will now be run by an android phone. The Russians will be kicked out because they keep poking holes in their side of the module and deliberately sit there, being Russian. The British were being considered, but there is no room for a proper tea maker, which sent the astronauts into a tizzy. The Chinese already have a space station that will blast the ISS out of orbit, and the North Koreans claim the same. For the first time in history, Iraq and Iran are working together on their own space station. They figure why not, people confuse the two all the time, so it's better and easier to work together. Nobody in the world believes they have a space station or are working together. The African Ski Team is hanging up their poles and going into space. Finally, Americans are voting on the people they'd most like to put into space. Since Americans don't like to go to the polls and vote, this is being accomplished by a special voting app tied to The Masked Furry show.
--> There are linux laptops on the ISS, because you don't want to reboot the space station while whizzing around the Earth and avoiding space debris.
As we know, there are some potential problems in planes caused by 5G service. Being the responsible corporate citizens they are, AT&T and Verizon
rejected the Department of Transportation's request that they delay this week's 5G launch.
They also rejected any implication that they are anti-competitive, fixing prices, and just plain evil.
The safest thing to do would be to find the flight routes for all planes in your area and stay really far away from them.
AT&T and Verizon have no idea how much trouble they're in. The new Transportation Secretary is Pete Buttigieg, and if he feels slighted, there will be an LGBTQ+ march on the corporate giants.
New phone band vs airplane
You decide.
- our departed neighbor's back patio chair she loved to sit on is not there. The yard is frozen in time.
- meanwhile, the Crazy Lady on the other side (91) will outlive us.
2021 was NOT a happy year for these people (unless expiring is a happy thing)
Phil Chen - bassist Rod Stewart, Jeff Beck
Tim Bogert - Beck Bogert Appice
Mike Nesmith - the Monkee
Graeme Edge - Moody Blues
Charlie Watts
Don Everly
Dusty Hill - ZZ Top
Robbie Steinhardt - violin, Kansas
BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Fallin on my Head
Jim Steinman - wrote Bat out of Hell for Meatloaf
Rusty Young - Poco
Alan Cartwright - Procol Harum
Chick Corea
Mary Wilson - Supremes
Hilton Valentine - guitar, The Animals, played on House of the Rising Sun
Betty White
John Madden
Dean Stockwell - actor, everything
Ann Rice - writer
Bob Dole
Mick Rock - photo extraordinaire
Mort Sahl - comedian
Peter Scolari - Newhart Show II
Colin Powell
Norm MacDonald
Willard Scott
Ed Asner
Markie Post - Night Court
Candy Davis - Are You Being Served - blonde bombshell Jug Ears' secretary
Jackie Mason
Jeff LaBar - Cinderella guitar
Robert Downey Sr
Donald Rumsfeld - Satan's apprentice, announced Pentagon couldn't account for trillions on September 10, 2001
Frank Bonner - Herb-WKRP in Cincinnati
Ned Beatty
Gavin MacLeod - Love Boat
Tawny Kitaen - Whitesnake videos
Michael Collins - Apollo 11
Walter Mondale
Felix Silla - Cousin Itt, Addams Family
Bernie Madoff - thief
DMX - a drum machine
Prince Philip
George Segal
Yaphet Kotto
Tony Hendra - Spinal Tap - Sir Dennis Eaton-Hogg
Rush Limbaugh
Larry Flynt
Christopher Plummer
Hal Holbrook
Dustin Diamond - part-time pr0n star
Cicely Tyson
Cloris Leachman
Bruce Kirby - you'd recognize him if you watch tv at all
Larry King
Gregory Sierra
Hank Aaron
Phil Spector
Siegfried Fischbacher - Roy's partner
Tommy Lasorda
Tanya Roberts - That 70s Show
Gerry Marsden - Gerry and the Pacemakers
Mike Mitchell - the Kingsmen - Louie Louie
- For 2022, ThermionicEmissions announces its competitor to I Heart Radio, called I Hate Radio.
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