The Most Recent January Ever

 Your love is like  flaked off skin bits

Sometimes things are so incredibly huge, I miss them completely.

One of those things is Mandatory Male Facial Hair. Go ahead and check it out... most men have it. The mustache that goes down around the chin and comes back on the other side.  It's beyond a style - it's more of a virus. Musicians who have had long hair for 30 years, now sport Mandatory Male Facial Hair. Eddie Van Halen even had it. Maybe that's what killed him....

Today I identify as  one of those Klingon hotties

She was a perfect specimen:

She had legs that went on forever, ending at her butt.

Her butt was shapely and both buttocks were the same shape.

Her stomach was flat. Her feet were flat. Her chest was probably flat too, as the implants would indicate. She should have spent a few more dollars on the implants, because they looked like two eyes that look different directions at the same time.

Her mind was like a Kardashian - constantly at odds with reality.

Her nose was just perfect, and tended not to move around too much.

Her eyes were two in number, found to be the optimal configuration.

She had a nice personality. Only one.

She had a nice pudenda - it was a Ford Pudenda; she drove it to work every day

She had very enticing female bits, not at all similar to mine.

• Are you a fan of the blues? If so, you need to listen to BellyUp4Blues. I hate everything and this is my favorite station. I always hear something new. It's more Stevie Ray Vaughan than BB King. You can find it on some of your streaming services, as well as the home page https://bellyup4blues.com/
• It's free, no commercials, and the guy who runs it puts in all his time - if you like it, make a contribution.  https://bellyup4blues.com/

There's a movement in Corporate America to clear up Fridays. It's called Fsck Fridays or something - I don't pay attention. The idea is that Friday is kept meeting-free so you can get some work done, as well as 'grow yourself.'

Well, now that they admit that meetings kill productivity, why not kill them entirely? Or limit them to 30 or 60 seconds? We're all about compromise.

Since I'm an Idea Man, I'd like to build on the (alleged) success of Fsck Fridays, with a few more suggestions

• alcohol afternoons. Or mornings.
• oral sex before you leave. It puts you in a relaxed mood and makes commuting home so much nicer.
• after you're done Growing Yourself via YouTube courses, grow yourself via YouTube. Spend time really checking out other courses. Or something. Play 'Stump YouTube', where you see if they have anything on really obscure bands.
• You can also grow yourself with ice cream!
• Your body spends a lot of resources digesting food, so nap after lunch.
• And if you have some time, get some work done!

Our friends for the First Amendment, the Satanists, have opened a club at an Illinois elementary school. This group does not believe in Satan, and promotes 

'benevolence and empathy, critical thinking, problem solving, creative expression and personal sovereignty.' Sounds like something the parents and school should be doing. Naturally there are cries from the masses, with pitchforks and torches.

Disallowing the group would be a violation of the First Amendment, especially if there are any other religious groups on premises. Naturally, ThermionicEmissions stands with them, not only for the First Amendment reasons, but because they get so many people who don't understand the First Amendment so upset. By this token, I support any religion having a club. Don't forget - if you manage to get one group thrown out, your group is next.

• Polish diocese apologizes for asking if sex abuse victim is gay and if he enjoyed sexual encounters with priest
• there are so many good, nice Catholics. Just not above a certain level in the Church hierarchy.
• unfortunately it's Reality Time<tm>: this is something a lawyer does in defense of his client. Take them apart in any way possible.
• but abuse can alter your sexuality, which the lawyer apparently doesn't know or thinks the jury doesn't know

CRANSTON, R.I. (AP) — The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Rhode Island has opened an investigation into the North Kingstown School Department after student-athletes filed a complaint that the high school violated students’ civil rights by allowing a former boys’ basketball coach to disrobe athletes for “fat tests” for two decades.

The coach always wanted to be a priest.......

ThermionicEmissions works for you

Remember I discovered Coke and Coke products were going flat in record time? I contacted customer service and am waiting on their response.

• I hear noises from my ex-neighbor's yard. I look out every time, hoping to see her. 
• When I'm done with outside noises, I hear what sounds like my ex-cat, pulling on the carpet with a nail. No idea what could be causing it. The dog is napping on the couch.
• I don't know what's worse, audio or visual hallucinations.

ThermionicEmissions - still 100% emoji-free

Every now and then I look at the meager stats Google gives me for this blog.

Interesting is that 25% of the traffic is not from the US. I'd welcome Moldova, but I can't do a Moldovan accent in type. Good luck, Ukraine.

Also, Windows is no longer the dominant operating system. It's Mac.

Chrome and Safari are the main browsers. Then there are the wogs whose systems show up as unix and browsers as Internet Explorer. If we can all get over to linux and Firefox, I'll feel much better, ok? [insert stupid smile emoji]

Deep Thoughts 

Does Queen refuse to hang around with the Queen because people keep mixing them up?

When the firemen slide down the pole, which is smaller than the one Adam Lambert uses, they stop at the floor. Has anyone done a study on how their feet hold up from the immediate stop?

Speaking of firemen and women, you have to take your hat off to these fine people, who do their job to 111% of their abilities. Can you imagine if firemen were like your coworkers?

• Nah, let it burn. Who wants to work on Mondays?
• The fire will wait til I have my coffee.
• I don't know about you, but I can't hold my hose after a liquid lunch.
• This is the 3rd time her cat ran up the tree. I'm not going. Tell her to get a dog - they don't climb trees.
• If he gets out, maybe little Billy will learn not to climb into water pipes.
• Just write that he spontaneously combusted. I got a hot date and don't want to smell like smoke.
• I know there's a massive car crash, but I'm on Pr0nhub. There's some new hamster pr0n today.

Best Headline of the Year

New Zealand man finds dead cockroach in ear after 3 days

Flying AIDS News

Immune system vs. virus: Why omicron had experts worried from the start

CDC to update advice on best masks—but just wants you to wear one, any of them

Supreme Court on vaccine mandates: Hospitals OK, general employment a “no”

We haven't heard righteous whining in the last 15 minutes, so here goes: There is a protest over Helen Mirren playing Golda Meir because Helen isn't Jewish. Perhaps they can replace her with Oprah.