Your love is like Windows
We all know of my great love for Win 10. Well, they've done it again. Win 10 is about to get a news recommendation feature. From the article:
the Windows 10 'News and Interests' feature will build a profile of a user's interests to display matching news stories and articles. The feature will also include various widgets that display the weather, sports scores, and stock information.
Win 10: an operating system full of holes that you rent, which builds a profile and advertises to you. Is that ok with you?
- What has the CIA been up to on UFOs? The Black Vault has the entire collection, direct from the CIA, via the Freedom of Information Act.
- repeat after me: We at the CIA have no interest in UFOs and do not collect any information on them.
Those Shriners Hospital commercials are rough.
What's worse is that no matter how much you donate, you can't get one of those nifty hats. Don't ask.
Today I identify as Orange Coke
Police Translations
I'm not going to arrest you: I don't have enough to arrest you
No, you can't smoke a cigarette - you just shot up a school: You really are stupid, aren't you?
What does 'dat not mines' mean?: We both know it's yours
Who were you holding it for?: We both know it's yours
Yes, you've been clean for a year: We both know it's yours
I may have to arrest you: Drunk AND ugly is a bad combination
Nice ink: You look like a circus freak
This is not a crosswalk: Got any drugs on you?
Your license plate light is out: Got any drugs on you?
You were doing 26 in a 25 zone: Got any drugs on you?
The dog didn't alert, so we're letting you go: We'll get you next time
Pot is illegal in this state-you can't drive and smoke, what's wrong with you: I'm off in an hour and gonna smoke bowls until I can't lift my head
I understand: Shut up
It's ok: No, really, shut up
Give me a minute, please: if you don't shut up, I will beat you with my flashlight
I'll get the dog: Neither of us likes black people
On your stomach ON YOUR STOMACH: Are you deaf or just stupid?
The police have developed a very effective tool: "uh-kuh" (OK)
My mom called me from Mars: Uh-kuh
They're not my pants: Uh-kuh
I didn't do it: Uh-kuh
Roughly translated, it means 'yeah, ok, whatever you say. I don't want you to talk more.'
What people don't understand is the power of this word, even when not used by police.
When you're talking to a friend who embellishes everything, Uh-kuh.
When your senile relative tells you their tv unplugs itself, Uh-kuh.
One simple word can make your life a lot easier. You're not arguing, you're not encouraging. If you didn't use the word, they would still be talking and you would be aggravated, possibly homicidal. You're welcome.
- A New Zealand woman died of a rare suspected shark attack, while swimming near the guards.
- STAY OUT OF THE WATER. SHARKS.
Mainstream or Pr0n? Women of Troy, Inside the world's toughest prisons, All In with Chris Hayes, The Neurobiology of Obesity, After We Collided, The Rachel Maddow Show
- The aliens are continuing to mess with the earthlings. This time it's the planet's faster revolutions around its axis; faster than it has in a half-century.
- Ziblat told Bob and they were hysterical. Notice there's always a Bob? Probably a Karen too.
Look for a large, unannounced change in tv shows, effective within 2 weeks.
CNN, MSNBC, and every nighttime entertainment show must make drastic changes in programming due to Trump leaving office. They will simply have nothing to talk about anymore. Rachel Maddow will be hospitalized for shock and trauma, not to return for 6 weeks. CNN will have to go back to making up news with fake sets for most of their programming. The most important thing you, the viewers, can do is provide support and understanding. When there are huge splotches of no programming, send them an email of support saying you understand their plight. Tell Jimmy Kimmel you have sympathy for him and that his writers should get a break. They're probably still sitting, dumbstruck, staring at the chalkboard.
Speaking of Trump, aside from watching Press with an Agenda, watch the ridiculous mob that made a (bigger) mess of the capitol. The first thing they'll do, the unbroken rule, is post their dirty deeds on Faceyspaces. Then there's the video surveillance from DC. Then the police (and relatives) will use facial recognition to identify them (as if Faceyspaces didn't provide enough information, including name, address, date of birth, exactly what they did, video of exactly what they did, their voluminous 1st grade experiences, and links to everybody involved (in the damage and in 1st grade). My point here, aside from the thing on top of my head, is that people are stupid and we're beyond the surveillance state at this point. I weep for my country - including its idiots.
- In case you're wondering where your vaccination is, black-footed ferrets are getting it, because they're at risk of extinction. Yes, I forgot to put the link in.
The continued outings to the bar, in spite of the Flying AIDS going outside moratorium, is ruining plans for Dry January. Apparently the idea is not to drink in January. The complaint about this was filed by both people participating in Dry January.
- Kohler now has a voice-activated smart bath. The fun you can have with this is beyond imagination....
- Bath- I need warmer water
- [children from outside bath] Bath - make it cold. Really cold.
- [hacker] Bath - color all water red, like blood
Connect the penguins! Connect the cows! Connect the shipping containers! Everything must be connected to the net! Tons of tiny satellites are going up to connect everything to the net.
I'm trying to decide if this is Skynet or the Number of the Beast.
Sir, the cows in Sri Lanka are farting up a storm.
You know those penguins? Yeah, they're dressing up in rainbow coats and going to clubs.
There's a nasty backup on I-95: 96% of the resulting traffic is rubberneckers, and 79% of drivers are saying curse words. Of the children in the cars, 73% are beyond control, and 82% of the infants' diapers are dirty.
We're detecting some sort of new flu among the Ooga Oogas in the northern rainforest area, and 1 of them has gone trans.
- the dog popped up with some candy the other day... candy we don't remember ever having in the house. Maybe she has a secret skill after all...
World Enemy #1, Bill Gates, wants to buy the world's largest private jet operator. In completely unrelated hypocracy news, his book on climate change is coming out next month.
1 thing about geeks: they're smart but not too good at sneaky.
- A spokesperson for the Democratics stated that Trump should be impeached. Again. And they are going to keep impeaching him until he leaves.
Parler, a right-leaning social media site, was thrown off the Apple store and Google Play.
Do you see where I'm going here? I have never seen Parler, but this is getting ridiculous. You are not allowed to have a social media site unless you march in lockstep. After Twitter threw Trump off, I'm considering moving off entirely. It's not that I give a rat's buttocks for him - I care that there's an agenda and want to support entities that won't be ruled by this agenda - Gab, for 1. Their traffic has gone through the roof lately, from people sick of the agenda. They too were thrown out of the stores and repeatedly deplatformed by businesses.
Note: if you're thinking of joining a right-wing protest group, vet it carefully. Some of them have white supremacists and other equally ugly participants.
- Puerto Vallarta was the scene of maskless gay male parties.
- Guys, guys, didn't you learn the 1st time?
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